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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

I logged on to Amazon and they said that they have run out of things that I don’t need.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Doing all of this just to die in the end! LMAO!

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

When I get bored on a Zoom meeting, I put a cursor under the speaker’s nose to make it look like they have a booger.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Girl, if the moon can block the sun, then you can definitely block your ex.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

It’s time to stare blankly at my wall for hours straight and think about where I went wrong with my life.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

My housemates are convinced our house is haunted. I’ve lived here for 274 years and not noticed anything strange.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

My dental hygienist is probably thinking, I bet i could braid this guys nose hair.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

17 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

Cats spend two-thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

Trending via Twitch:

If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I made coffee and carried it to the couch. I’ve done everything I had planned for this Sunday.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Once you start paying rent, every joke stops being funny.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Why do we call it tuna fish? Is there any other tuna out there that’s not a fish?

Breaking via Telegram:

I love routine. Until I’m bored, then I love excitement. Until I’m overwhelmed, then I love routine.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Find someone who looks at you the way I look at a cheeseburger.

Trending via WeChat:

Hi, I’m a social media user, you might know me from such hits as “I’m leaving this stupid place” and “I’m back everybody.”

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I want a girlfriend so hot that people walking down the street know that I am funny.

Live now on Pinterest:

The amount I’m sighing these days could fuel a small wind farm.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

17 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Of course your crush is going to leave their spouse for you. That’s how delusions work.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!” Oh, it’s ok, you can just kill me next time.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I just think we should kiss. And kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss. But that’s just me.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

I still can’t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. I’ve got 8 of them now and don’t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

In my defense, they burned my grilled cheese sandwich.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Somethіng wrong іn your lіfe? There’s a nap for that.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s: that “teenager”over there is actually 27.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Printers are definitely the moody teenagers of the tech world.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I don’t understand how spending more money than I earn is irresponsible. I’m giving more than I take. I’m generous.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.

Making waves on Slack:

If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

Making waves on Slack:

Alcohol and eye contact is a deadly combo.

Spotted on Reddit:

During childbirth, women are in so much pain that it is almost possible for them to feel what men have to endure when they have a cold.

Just landed via TikTok:

Come on, karma, do your job.

Seen just now on WeChat:

“I saw your ex!” A very unnecessary piece of information.

Going viral on X:

Spent the day decorating the house for Christmas and my wife spent the day re-decorating the house for Christmas.

Spotted on X:

Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I decided not to go for a run today because of the weather, but mostly because of the running.

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