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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Tech bros are frequently wrong but never in doubt.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Having seductive eyes is not for the weak. I feel like Medusa.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m having a garage sale and hope people I’ve borrowed things from don’t come.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

People my age are parenting actual humans, and I’m over here promising myself snacks if I fold the laundry.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

I want the dreams to chase me for once.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

When it gets past my bedtime, I get so scared.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Zombies started running in movies and life has been chaotic since.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Karma not moving fast enough for me. I would hate to handle it myself, Lord.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Seeing yourself on a FaceTime screenshot really humbles you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,504

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

Jokes on you, unknown number. I barely answer my phone for people I know.

Making waves on TikTok:

If you bring an acoustic guitar to a bonfire, I’m going to assume it’s for fuel.

Seen just now on WeChat:

In all the movies, Santa never goes to the house directly next door. He always gets in his sleigh and flies off like 20 miles east.

Seen just now on Discord:

Men be like, “That’s my dream girl,” then ruin her perspective of love forever.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Calm down, engine light, if I can run on broken parts, so can you.

Trending via Twitch:

Liking sports is great because you’ll have a bad day, then here your team comes to make it worse.

Shared recently on Messenger:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

Seen just now on Discord:

I started at the bottom and worked my way down.

Just landed via Twitch:

My morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired I am.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I did 30 minutes of chores, time for a 7-hour break.

Funny sexual identity quotes

New funny sexual identity quotes 👇

I sexually identify as a microwave dinner, because I am ready in 5 minutes, look nothing like my photos, and I’m just satisfying enough for you to want me again when you’re desperate.

3 weeks ago

5, again, am, appearance, dating, desperate, desperation, dinner, enough, humor, i, identify, identity, just, me, microwave, microwave dinner, minutes, nothing, photos, ready, ready in 5 minutes, satisfaction, sexual, sexual identity, want

All funny sexual identity quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on Messenger this month:

People who sound like fonts: Ariana Grande. Roman Roy. Jim Courier. Lydia West. Bon Iver. Suella Braverman. Jesse Ventura.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

67 shares on YouTube this month:

DMs full of guys who wouldn’t know what to do with me.

37 shares on WeChat this month:

You should be able to wash your hair and it stays washed. What do you mean I have to do it again?

31 shares on Slack this month:

Turns out that ending meetings with “have the day you deserve” has made me some enemies at work.

11 shares on TikTok this month:

If alcohol was the one that was banned instead of weed, then a lot of people would have had memories of hungry, stoned fathers instead of angry, drunk ones.

90 shares on Telegram this month:

I love befriending yappers. They bring the yapping out of me. Then we yap together. Yapping is so much fun.

41 shares on X this month:

All these microplastics in me could at least do some repair work to my knees and back while they’re in there.

65 shares on Instagram this month:

Do you mind if I become the object of your desire? No worries if not.

38 shares on Reddit this month:

If I found E.T., I would’ve developed his jump shot.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

To be blocked is to be seen and to be seen is to be loved.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

I miss the old days back in the 70s, when I didn’t exist.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

This Monday has Monday written all over it.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

I can’t date until the curse is lifted.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

I’m only here while I wait for that Nigerian prince to follow through on his end of the bargain.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

I don’t have an advent calendar, so I’m just opening cupboard doors and eating what’s in there.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

I found out my wife was cheating on me at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, and I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Santa punched a hole in my wall because I left him soy milk.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

I’m equally comfortable holding a guitar as I am holding a baby, I just hold them both by the neck.

Breaking via Messenger:

At first, big breasts were attractive, then suddenly it was big butts. I’m waiting for it to finally be big bellies.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Young witches boil every cauldron on high.

Trending via TikTok:

The purpose of life is to go insane sooner or later.

Just shared via Discord:

Shopping is the only exercise I need.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I’m so single right now that I stood on a cliff and shouted, “I love you,” and my echo replied, “I just wanna be friends.”

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Living your life to the fullest does not have to involve selfies with bison.

Trending via YouTube:

They should invent a Twitter where the timeline doesn’t refresh against your will.

Just landed via Discord:

Girls ask for help to open a jar, but can throw a couch during an argument.

Trending via Slack:

If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny sexual identity quotes

New funny sexual identity quotes 👇

I sexually identify as a microwave dinner, because I am ready in 5 minutes, look nothing like my photos, and I’m just satisfying enough for you to want me again when you’re desperate.

All funny sexual identity quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨