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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Asking the waiter for her phone number and then texting her “can I have more coffee?” two minutes later.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

My toxic trait is treating my glasses like they’re not the most expensive thing I wear everyday.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

I can’t keep up anymore. Happy birthday to everyone for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Male barista called me “my love” yesterday and didn’t say it today… getting mixed signals and feeling really upset.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

I’m getting to the age where it’s rude to pull out a bottle of ibuprofen if I don’t have enough for everyone.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Family Guy is so insane because, why were people dating that dog?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

I start each day assuming it will be horrible and go from there.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

I’m so old, I still drink my coffee at home in the morning. From a real cup.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Caught my son chewing on electrical wires. So, I grounded him. He’s doing better currently and conducting himself properly.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,879

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Notice how Lorde has a song called “Tennis Court” and not “Pickleball Court”? Tired of y’all pushing that fake sport.

Trending via WhatsApp:

My comments on your home decor are not criticisms, they are deep concerns.

Just shared via Facebook:

I love befriending yappers. They bring the yapping out of me. Then we yap together. Yapping is so much fun.

Going bananas on Threads:

There’s two sides to every story, and then there’s these screenshots I got.

Just shared via Reddit:

I regret to inform you that we must all once again figure out what to make for dinner tonight.

Making waves on Telegram:

Want to lose weight for the summer? Don’t worry, just check in your luggage at the airport. You’ll never see those pounds again.

Trending via Pinterest:

Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can’t eat anything when I’m asleep!

Making waves on Slack:

Reverse cowgirl is not a fair trade because, why do you get a view of my sexy back, and all I’m seeing are your toes throwing gang signs?

Trending via Pinterest:

I never finish what I start. I have a black belt in partial arts.

Going viral on YouTube:

They should invent a food that sounds good for dinner tonight.

Funny sexual identity quotes

New funny sexual identity quotes 👇

I sexually identify as a microwave dinner, because I am ready in 5 minutes, look nothing like my photos, and I’m just satisfying enough for you to want me again when you’re desperate.

0

4 hours ago

5, again, am, appearance, dating, desperate, desperation, dinner, enough, humor, i, identify, identity, just, me, microwave, microwave dinner, minutes, nothing, photos, ready, ready in 5 minutes, satisfaction, sexual, sexual identity, want

All funny sexual identity quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Free will: where you get to choose your own adventure … and regret it.

12 shares on Facebook this month:

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

95 shares on Twitch this month:

Remember, for some unknown reason Santa doesn’t make batteries.

83 shares on Messenger this month:

l identify as a Christmas tree. Lit on the outside, dead on the inside.

15 shares on X this month:

I believe in Bigfoot because Bigfoot believes in me.

70 shares on X this month:

Bugs Bunny taught me that my choices aren’t limited to fight or flight, I can also pretend I’m a pretty lady.

20 shares on Pinterest this month:

Me, having zero balance in my account, viewing houses worth 10 million, and being like, “No, I don’t like the kitchen.”

14 shares on X this month:

When you try to be humble and say it’s no big deal and they agree with you.

64 shares on Threads this month:

Asking my landlord if he has any Cyber Monday deals.

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sometimes I say something so embarrassing I even impress myself.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

69 but we both just farting.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

I drive regularly so that my brain doesn’t forget swear words.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Slipping into something more comfortable, another dimension.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Just told my kids it’s illegal to have the light on while we’re driving. I will not break this cycle.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Kinda rude when I spend money, and it actually leaves my bank account. But okay.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

About to watch Tenet for the first time and I enjoyed it.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

I’m confused how a cemetery can raise its funeral prices and blame it on the cost of living.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

My therapist says he can’t take any more of my talk and that I should join a group. So, here I am.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Getting a boner because the Lego instructions are telling me what to do.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Got a botched circumcision, now my willy wonka.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I don’t know why doctors only give stickers to kids? Like, hello, I was also brave today.

Trending via TikTok:

Who needs a period calendar when I know I’ll have it when I’m crying over nonsense things.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

At the plastic surgeon: Please, Doc, help me. My Barbie doll has appendicitis.

Spotted on Slack:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $2 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst birthday presents ever.

Trending via Telegram:

I accidentally hit a parked car, so I left them a note that said “next time it will be you”.

Spotted on X:

Every morning when that damn alarm clock goes off, I just feel it so much: A million-dollar inheritance suits me much better than an office job.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Are cassette tapes considered classical music yet?

Making waves on Threads:

How is rent for 28 days the same amount as for 31 days? Where is my change?

Seen just now on YouTube:

I asked my boyfriend if he believed in trolls and elves and he said, “slightly.”

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Halloween is a big day for dogs who love to absolutely lose their shit when the doorbell rings.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny sexual identity quotes

New funny sexual identity quotes 👇

I sexually identify as a microwave dinner, because I am ready in 5 minutes, look nothing like my photos, and I’m just satisfying enough for you to want me again when you’re desperate.

All funny sexual identity quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨