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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

If a door closes, you can just open it again. That is a door. Doors work like this.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

My dad called my philosophy degree a “license for unemployment.”

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Overheard a baby crying in the grocery store the other day so I went over and joined him. I get it, little dude, life is hard.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Glasses don’t make you look smart, everyone knows you had to fail a test to get them.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Not opening up anymore, have fun trying to figure me out.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Those guys holding fish in their dating profile pictures are just demonstrating how they’ll carry you over the threshold after marriage.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

I’m seriously considering adoption. Who wants me?

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Rain cancels plans, upsetting some and delighting others.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Grocery stores should have baskets in the middle of the store for those “I really overestimated how much I can carry” moments.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

37 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

I’m eating sandwiches you haven’t heard of in jeans you can’t pronounce.

Shared recently on Discord:

I was born a boy, but according to the packaging, I identify as a family of four.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.

Breaking via Slack:

I lost my job at NASA Mission Control today. I misheard when they said, “It’s lunch time.”

Seen just now on WeChat:

Ever looked at your ex and wondered, was I drunk the entire relationship?

Just landed via Slack:

I hate Valentine’s Day but I do enjoy infant archery.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

“People you may know” and it’s someone I would set on fire.

Seen just now on Threads:

New COVID variant subscribes you to random podcasts.

Just landed via Slack:

That moment when you clean the apartment and a year later everything is dirty again.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Exercise won’t cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

37 minutes ago

Users Online

3,418

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

I thought the noise my husband’s stomach was making was never going to end last night until I realized it was a motorbike outside.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

My kid tells me his toothpaste is “too spicy” but he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

I hope all of you get laid and not laid off this year. Amen.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

They should invent going outside without people looking at you.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I totally get why Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to save the environment for future generations. They could be his girlfriend.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

A gender-neutral equivalent of ‘sugar daddy’ is glucose guardian.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

I just want a man to look at me the way Doc from ‘Back to the Future’ looks when something exciting happens.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

I was brought up in the wild by hyenas. Times were hard, food was scarce but we had some great laughs.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Toddlers be like, we can do this the hard way or the harder way.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The first Humans saw the sun go up and then back down, and so they decided to call it a day.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Perhaps the most universal American experience is your mom being like, “Wasn’t he such a good dentist? He’s in prison now.”

Seen just now on Messenger:

Researchers have discovered that birthdays are healthy. People who have more grow older.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Why procrastinate now when you can always procrastinate later?

Trending via Discord:

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’m like a candle: I’m cute, I smell nice, and there’s a pretty good chance I’ll set your curtains on fire if left unattended.

Making waves on Messenger:

I need a stunt double for when I’m navigating my way to the bathroom at night.

Making waves on Twitch:

My fight or flight response has frequent flyer miles.

Freshly posted on Discord:

That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock over a lamp, and land on the floor.

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