Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

The universe clearly isn’t working as it should so someone should turn it off and back on again.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

I had bad luck with women twice. The first left me, the second stayed.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Establish dominance by eating a salad in front of your indoor plants.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Not being filthy rich is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

The best part of vacation with your extended family is talking shit about them on the trip home.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

If I ever go missing, please print my picture on wine bottles and not on milk boxes. My friends are more likely to find me then.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

I have more photos of food on my phone than I do of my children.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

My workout is reading in bed until my arms hurt.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

21 minutes ago

Users Online

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

Trending via YouTube:

“Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have” is all well and good until you’re rocking a tutu.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I run a parody bank account.

Making waves on Facebook:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and my fingers, because I can always count on them.

Going viral on Slack:

4 out 3 people struggle with math.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

When I was a kid there were two sure ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Just landed via Threads:

If you’re doing Dry January, please, please, keep it to yourself. Nobody cares, and you’re probably even more boring without alcohol.

Seen just now on Slack:

It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Just once I’d like to buy a house plant that didn’t have the lifespan of a soap bubble.

Making waves on Telegram:

I could post “hello” and there’d be a 20 day argument in the comments.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

21 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor got slapped.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m not flirting with you. I’m just funny and you think you like me.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

The world is in chaos, confess to your crush!

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

I’m putting free wifi on my gravestone, so people will come visit me.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Whoops, lost myself for about eight years there.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

If you’re lost in the woods, start talking loudly about politics. Someone will come to argue with you.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

If I ever look at my phone in the middle of a conversation with you, I’m not reading a text; I’m just looking up the definition of a word I just used a bit too confidently.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

You know what part I love about waking up? None of it. Let me sleep!

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

As someone who was born in August, I find the word leotard extremely offensive.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Kendrick inspires me to be a bigger, deeper, more passionate hater.

Trending via Telegram:

Halloween is a big day for dogs who love to absolutely lose their shit when the doorbell rings.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

Just shared via Facebook:

Blocking anyone who tries to motivate me.

Just landed via Messenger:

Bit strange that the same culture is responsible for both kissing and onion soup. You’d think they’d be incompatible.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I cannot hear a word you are saying if your hoodie strings are uneven.

Trending via Reddit:

“Comparison is the thief of joy!” Well, not if you’re better than everyone else.

Going viral on Reddit:

They should invent someone who holds me.

Seen just now on X:

Oh, I have Christmas spirit. The question is: Do I mix it with coke or do I drink it neat?

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