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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Being called ‘my love’ is probably the cutest thing, like yes, that’s me. I’m the one you love. I’m the only one you love. I’m your love. Say it again.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Sure, sex is great, but have you ever closed a dozen tabs after finishing an academic paper?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Dear algo, please only show this post to benevolent aliens.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

You can’t spell disappointment without me.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

I’m not drinking 2% milk until we figure out what the other 98% is.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

This is my emotional support online shopping cart.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

I wish I lived in a sitcom, and my friends just barged into my apartment uninvited.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

I really feel like we need to have more fun in life, because literally nothing matters.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Just once I’d like to hear a doctor say, “Your guess is as good as mine.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,378

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you wanted.

Going viral on Discord:

If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

Breaking via Instagram:

Having a pool is so neat. All of your friends are suddenly interested to catch up on the hottest days of the year.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Not only is it not Friday, it’s not even Thursday.

Going viral on X:

I am the first person in my bloodline to attempt to become hot, and I can feel my genes fighting me every step of the way.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Y’all ever withheld good news so that it remains untouched by negativity?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The perfect number of cats is two stupid cats. Preferably siblings. But they can’t both be the same type of stupid. One needs to be stupid (dumb) and one needs to be stupid (annoying).

Freshly posted on X:

Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didn’t say which one. Now I’m at home.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’ve been thinking. Is ‘fat’ short for anything? Like an old word or something?

Trending via X:

There should be a Jaws sequel where the shark finally gets arrested for his crimes and goes to jail.

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Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on X this month:

Nobody told me that it takes 1-2 business days to put a snow outfit on a toddler.

29 shares on TikTok this month:

God, never seen San Francisco this bad. Spiderwebs completely covering entire business, skeletons just strewn about sidewalks in every neighborhood. Things have got to change!

93 shares on Discord this month:

Stages of Christmas shopping: 1. There’s plenty of time. 2. Oh no!

63 shares on X this month:

If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize, I honestly did not think you could read.

100 shares on WeChat this month:

I enjoy long walks in the woods, but only because there’s a chance I’ll get eaten by a bear.

29 shares on Slack this month:

Several of my internal organs hurt, but I’m 100% sure it’s not my body trying to tell me something.

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

My phone is on Do Not Disturb because I am disturbed enough as it is.

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I can melt an ice cube just by staring at it. It takes a while, but I can do it.

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Do you ever hang out with someone else’s family, and you’re like, ooooh, so this is what it’s supposed to be like?

57 shares on Slack this month:

Fruit and vegetables expire faster when you’re the one paying for them.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Writing cover letters feels soooo “Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be an administrative assistant when I grew up.”

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Slipping into something a little more comfortable (psychosis).

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Duolingo does everything except actually teach you the language.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Girl math is crying for two hours and then realizing it wasn’t that deep.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Interviewer: Give an example of a difficult scenario and how you handled it. Me: I poured a bowl of cereal but had no milk, so I used ice cream.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I want a man to love me so bad his entire family thinks I did witchcraft on him.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Not now darling, mummy’s influencing on the www.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Gwyneth Paltrow, I received the message you sent me last night in my dream and will proceed with the plan.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

First date idea: you bring me coffee in bed, and we snuggle all morning.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,594

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

If your god commands you to kill others, find another god.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Mission Impossible theme song plays in my head when I’m trying to remember a password.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Hey, boy, are you the worst-case scenario? Because you’re all I think about.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

BREAKING: OpenAI to partner with OpenAI to help fund OpenAI. OpenAI up 90%.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Here’s what I’ve learned since I’ve been on social media: I’m not nearly as disturbed as I thought I was.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

If you saw me licking the plate after the charcuterie was finished, no you didn’t.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Has anybody else completely lost it or is it just me and Kanye?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

You befriend a guy and a few days later he’s like “I wanna talk to you about something”. Please, God, let it be about the economy.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

I don’t need Halloween. I have strange characters around me all year round.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Let’s ruin each other’s sleep schedules and call it romance.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Reddit:

My toxic trait is that I give my friends mental health advice when I belong in an asylum.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Needing to rant and not wanting anyone to know your business is such a crazy combo.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Welcome to your fifties. Saturday Night Fever now means lots of rest, cold medicine, and chicken noodle soup.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

It’s not sleeping alone if there are crumbs in your bed.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Would have started saving money in kindergarten if I knew my life was like this.

Just shared via Pinterest:

The only narcissist I allow in my life is my cat.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Political ads be like: send us money so we can send you more ads.

Going viral on Messenger:

Getting older is so fun. Your life goals slowly transition from things like ‘land a dream job’ to ‘successfully grow a cherry tomato.’

Breaking via Twitch:

Who called it a period tracker instead of a madvent calendar?

Just shared via Threads:

Dating outside of your education bracket leads to misunderstandings and arguments.

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