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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Dance like China isn’t watching.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

The Playstation is broken and the child has noticed that I live here too.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

For a girl that loves sleep and hates stress, my career choice is questionable.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

8 planets, 204 countries, thousands of islands, 7 seas, 8 billion people, and I’m single.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Lord, please take this gas out of my stomach and put it in my car.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Me, unwrapping a gift: Oh wow, an item. I love these!

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

What happened to my ankles tonight mosquitologically can never happen again.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

I hope the aliens aren’t good at basketball. My chances of making it into the NBA are already slim.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Please don’t ask me what my hobbies are, I lost interest in life back in 6th grade.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2393 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,555

Funny Quotes Topics

15,234

Funny Quotes Images

12,555

Updated

54 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

Probably the most humiliating thing that can happen when you die is that you come back as a fitted-sheet ghost.

Shared recently on Discord:

The title of my autobiography is going to be ‘You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’

Going viral on Snapchat:

If you think about it, Santa really has the best job, he works one day a year and spends the rest of his time judging people.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I’ll kill the vibe, so you don’t have to.

Going viral on TikTok:

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.

Trending via Pinterest:

You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I may as well go while I’m here.”

Just shared via Twitch:

I have some fart jokes I’ve been holding in.

Going viral on Instagram:

That beeping of the parking assistant when you get too close to other cars. I’d like that for people.

Trending via Instagram:

Men have feelings too! Hunger, for example. Or thirst.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

A freshly cleaned bathroom triggers an irresistible urge in men to trim their beard.

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Funny social status quotes

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All funny social status quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2393 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,555

Funny Quotes Topics

15,234

Funny Quotes Images

12,555

Updated

54 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

It may sound crazy but some of us are nice without hidden agendas.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Yes, my date did get up and leave during dinner, but luckily she hadn’t finished her food.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

I’m ready for a new relationship. My past is buried in the backyard, to fertilize the tomatoes.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Ain’t no way there’s billions of us and nobody got superpowers.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

The difference between a biography and an autobiography is self-explanatory.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

A Monday every week is excessive.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

I’m at the age where, if you ask me to go out after 9 p.m., I’m definitely not coming.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

People should be able to call in healthy: “Look, I’m not coming into the office today. I feel really good and I don’t want to waste it on being at work.“

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

With a lollipop in one hand and a dandelion in the other, concentration is very important, as every summer child knows.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

I’m sick of blessings in disguise. I am ready for a blessing with absolutely no disguise whatsoever.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I’ll be notified immediately.

Just landed via Discord:

I don’t understand how people use plastic wrap successfully.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I belong to the generation that repaired the TV with a single blow to the casing.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I’m dying for some sweets and the only thing sweet in the house is me.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Rather than work on my issues, I’m counting on my personality getting changed by a falling coconut.

Shared recently on Messenger:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little riddles you get to solve later.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I made a graph showing my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I just turned on my car’s seat warmer to keep my burrito warm in case you wondered what I was up to.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’ve got midlife crises older than you.

Seen just now on Threads:

When I was a kid I thought shrimp cocktails had alcohol in them and I thought it was such a weird way to get drunk.

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