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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

I can’t wait to hit my 80s & run for Congress.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Maybe everyone can just pee outside from now on so I never have to clean the toilets again.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

A real smartphone would know when to shut up.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

It’s normal that my retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding buried treasure at some point, right?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

What if your dog one day just randomly said “Nobody is going to believe you” and never spoke again.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Spotify should have helpful mental health suggestions like “your top listens are Taylor Swift and true crime, go to therapy.”

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

There should be a tented fingers emoji. For when you’re feeling ruminative.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Where do you see yourself five beers from now? What’s your five-beer plan?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

821 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,983

Funny Quotes Topics

13,927

Funny Quotes Images

10,983

43 minutes ago

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

There are so many people going to hell. I’m thinking of investing in some property there.

Spotted on YouTube:

Be the reason why a count unleashes ancient horrors onto the world when he thinks of you.

Spotted on Messenger:

Day number 3 without coffee: Lost hearing in my left eye.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

If cartoons have taught us anything, it’s the uselessness of little umbrellas when plummeting from a cliff.

Trending via X:

The state of my house can best be described as “there seems to have been a struggle”.

Trending via Snapchat:

Technically mixed martial arts can include tickle fighting.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Armed robbers are so weird. Why are you beating me when I don’t have money?

Freshly posted on Discord:

Imagine how organized the first person to write down a recipe must have been.

Breaking via Pinterest:

“You’re always drinking wine!” God forbid a girl enjoys the first miracle of Jesus.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Running to the boarding gate is my favorite workout.

Home » Funny Span Quotes

Funny span quotes

New funny span quotes 👇

4 months ago
Share →: Lately I have the attention span of wait what?

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic case of 'Wait, what was I saying again?' 🤔 Seems like our attention spans are taking a vacation without us! 😂 Don't worry, you're not alone in this 'thinking up a storm' mode! 🌪️"
6 months ago
Share →: I miss being able to study with complete focus for hours. Now I read one sentence and check my phone to see if penguins have legs or just feet.

Commentary:
"Ah, the evolution of study habits in the digital age: from deep concentration to existential penguin ponderings 🐧📚 Stay strong, dear student! Who knows, perhaps those penguins are onto something fascinating! #FocusVsFeathers"
6 months ago
Share →: Paw Patrol is just annoying. Exactly how long do dogs live again on average?

Commentary:
"Paw Patrol: training our children to expect talking dogs saving the day 🐾🦸‍♂️ As for the dogs' lifespan, let's just hope they have enough years left to endure all those rescue missions! 🐶🕰️ #LiveLongAndPawspurr"

For even more funny span quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny span quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

821 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,983

Funny Quotes Topics

13,927

Funny Quotes Images

10,983

43 minutes ago

3,448

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Whoever told you there’s no such thing as a stupid question lied.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

I’m gonna be the first zoomer to start dropping the ‘two thousand’ when referring to the past. “Yeah, that was back in ‘17.”

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

If you’re not dropping it like it’s hot, then what the hell are you doing?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

I’m going to become more attractive or more delusional; I haven’t decided yet.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Winter. You get up, drink coffee and then it gets dark.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Sorry for what I said when I was drunk. I meant every word.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Don’t ever let your computer feel that you’re in a hurry, cause they’re gonna slow down more.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

My theory is that women’s voices contain frequencies that men simply can’t hear.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.

Reported on Facebook:

The difference between a biography and an autobiography is self-explanatory.

Reported on Slack:

All of my problems boil down to me being bad at being alive.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Clearly I’m not doing Dry January unless you mean sense of humor.

Just shared via TikTok:

Babe, would it kill you to meow back?

Shared recently on Facebook:

If a stranger starts talking to me in an elevator I say “I don’t want to talk in case we get stuck and I have to eat you” that usually shuts them up.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

The fastest mammal on earth is the smartass on the web.

Trending via Snapchat:

The word ‘stan’ comes from the Eminem song “Stan” which is about one of his obsessed fans. What if Eminem named the fan ‘Dennis’? We could be saying, “I dennis Beyonce.”

Making waves on Slack:

Money talks, but all mine ever says is goodbye.

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