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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Why are fish the only thing you can monger? Let me monger some other stuff.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

If, I, want to, put, a comma, there, then, I will put, the comma, there.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

I really understand why boomers text with ellipses between everything… it feels so good…

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Getting paid to sleep would be such a dream job.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Mouse in a conference call: hold on, I’m gonna put you on squeakerphone.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

My favorite conspiracy theory is that everything is going to be OK.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Geometry is a scam. What do you mean “prove it’s a triangle”? Just look at it.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I kind of miss when people stood 6 feet away.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,558

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

You don’t have to check your Spotify Wrapped, you are the most played this year.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Thoughts more intrusive than a 90s sitcom neighbor.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Sometimes all you need is a Saturday to sleep, eat, and do absolutely nothing else all day.

Breaking via Slack:

The real advantage of being self-employed is that you don’t have to go to a Christmas party.

Going viral on YouTube:

Whoops, lost myself for about eight years there.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I’m a huge fan of saying “You’re welcome” really loudly when people don’t say thank you.

Making waves on YouTube:

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

Trending via TikTok:

“I’m pretty good with money unless I leave my house or have access to the internet.”

Making waves on Slack:

Every homemade dinner counts as negative calories because of the exercise we get waving pillows at the smoke detectors.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

No one ever talks about the 6th love language (being annoying).

Funny special occasion quotes

Funny special occasion quotes bring laughter and joy to every celebration 🎉 Whether it’s a birthday, wedding, or holiday bash, these witty gems add the perfect sprinkle of humor 😄 Ready to brighten up your cards, speeches, or captions? Let’s dive into a world where smiles are guaranteed and good vibes flow nonstop! 🎈✨

New funny special occasion quotes 👇

All funny special occasion quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on Threads this month:

Shazam, but for whatever the hell goes on in the apartment upstairs.

67 shares on Instagram this month:

Genuinely nothing worse than going bowling with people who are actually good. Like, why are you doing all that?

46 shares on Twitch this month:

Line dancing was created by women waiting to use the restroom.

96 shares on Reddit this month:

Wife asked if I could stop singing Wonderwall. I said maybe…

71 shares on Instagram this month:

I met the real Santa tonight, and he said you’re all in trouble.

100 shares on YouTube this month:

If she says “it’s fine,” you’re probably in trouble.

70 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s been too long since I partook in shenanigans.

58 shares on Messenger this month:

How did they call Deadpool’s dog ‘Dogpool’ when ‘Deadpoodle’ was right there?

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

No revenge, because losing someone like me is enough.

44 shares on Threads this month:

When people talk about enriching their lives, I assume they’ve found a way to add more cheese.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you lost was a normal pigeon.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t tell me to trust my gut. Thats where I put my snacks. Clearly that’s where I’m the weakest.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If I ever get the death penalty, I hope “by chocolate” is an option.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you think the washing machine and the dryer are actual friends or just work friends?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Gosh, being a princess is exhausting.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

One week without chocolate. I can no longer hear anything in my left eye.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve decided to cut my carbs… into smaller pieces before eating them.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Gonna waterboard my houseplants so they know who’s the boss.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Times New Roman never did anything to anybody. It was a real trooper. Then society unceremoniously dethroned it.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Every night at bedtime I do one small ritual: six hours on my cell phone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,610

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

I don’t give people directions. What if no one wants them there?

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

The price of groceries has gotten me thinking about what acorns taste like.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

I have neither the patience nor the crayons to show you why this is a bad idea.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

I love single sign-on because you only have to sign on once, 8 times a day.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Seeing a grown man stumble when the train moves is disgusting. How will you provide for anyone?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “yeah, but not to you”.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

If I’m ever in a coma, please pluck my chin hairs.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Behind every funny man is a woman who rolls her eyes.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

I’m going to die from jealousy one day.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

I can’t be the only person who thinks the presidential debate should be performed as a rap battle.

Shared recently on X:

I have never read a Hacker News thread where any of the commenters seemed as if their life contained joy.

Shared recently on Threads:

“Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

Making waves on Slack:

Love that every time I finish a snack I have to wave my hands around to prove to my dog it’s all gone, like I’m cashing him out at a casino or something.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I don’t dress for women. I don’t dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I’m camping, I won’t be covered.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Hello darkness, my old friend. Why are you here? It’s 6:00 pm.

Just shared via Reddit:

I went downstairs to get my charger. I came back up with a bowl of ice cream and no charger.

Trending via Facebook:

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

Making waves on Instagram:

I hate when teachers put “?” on my work, like I don’t know either.

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