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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

“You’re a cougar!” God forbid a woman gives back to the youth.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Heavy on the ‘mhm,’ cause people just be talking.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Before Google, if you didn’t know something you had to go ask someone and most of the time they couldn’t help you, and now that’s also how Google works.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Just once I’d like to hear a doctor say, “Your guess is as good as mine.”

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Hike in groups. Bears like to have options.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Being awake is the worst.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

If you don’t have at least one white friend named “Matt”, then you are Matt.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

I appreciate the sun for always moving in the sky in a predictable way but I also respect the moon for just kind of doing whatever.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,626

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

Going viral on Reddit:

I don’t jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

Just landed via WeChat:

I never had a year with this much thinking. I’ve been thinking since the 1st.

Just shared via Reddit:

Idea: An app that tells you where that bruise came from.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

What kind of psychopath wants to be the life of the party?

Just shared via X:

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.

Live now on Threads:

I’m willing to do anything for a job except write a cover letter.

Seen just now on Facebook:

They say half the battle of getting in shape is mental, so I thought about the gym really hard today.

Seen just now on Telegram:

There’s two sides to every story, and then there’s these screenshots I got.

Making waves on Messenger:

Remember, when a package says “sharing size”, that’s just a guideline. They have no enforcement mechanism.

Funny stay cool quotes

Funny stay cool quotes are the perfect way to keep your vibes chill 😎 while bringing on the laughs 😂. Whether you’re melting under pressure or just need a witty reminder to take it easy, these clever lines will have you smiling and staying frosty ❄️. Get ready to brighten your day and cool down your mood with some seriously cool humor! 🧊✨

New funny stay cool quotes 👇

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

4 weeks ago

advice, avoid, avoid fool, avoid tool, being, cool, fool, graduation, humor, lesson, life, life lesson, slang, stay, stay cool, tool, wisdom
To everyone who wrote “stay cool” in my year book, I have some devastating news.

4 weeks ago

book, cool, devastating, devastating news, everyone, humor, i, irony, news, stay, stay cool, year, year book

All funny stay cool quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on Reddit this month:

I feel like I should give my air conditioner a plaque for employee of the month.

22 shares on TikTok this month:

Me every time I wake up: Oh no, not again!

44 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t need your flipping advice, I am capable of ruining my life on my own.

54 shares on Telegram this month:

When someone asks why you don’t have kids just say “dingoes”.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

Every word wishes it could sound as fun as falafel.

28 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t think people are actually getting any dumber. I think stupid people have just become way more confident.

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I appreciate the sun for always moving in the sky in a predictable way but I also respect the moon for just kind of doing whatever.

51 shares on WeChat this month:

“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

75 shares on Threads this month:

Can’t, trying to piece together today’s news from social media posts.

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

Apparently, I’m not even going through a lot; I just need money.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m going to get more sleep tonight” is always the first lie I tell myself in the morning.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t buy me flowers. A bouquet of KitKats will suffice.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Fun fact: a person’s music taste can actually tell their intelligence level.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I’m unavailable… the horrors of reality insist upon themselves.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I believe my ex-wife is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Moment of silence for those who received mugs that aren’t microwave- and dishwasher-safe.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I always imagined WWIII would be Earth vs. aliens.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Sounds like you are suffering from a lack of vitamin Me.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

When people say something is cray-cray it makes me wanna vom-vom.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s a myth that we only use 10% of our brain, but I definitely know people who use less than that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,301

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Getting a girlfriend is actually very easy, you just have to spin a basketball on your finger.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

I love when lashes make me look evil.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Facebook is like a never-ending high school reunion.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Whoever has designed parking garages is either an architectural genius or an evil sadist.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

WFH is so great until you realize you’ve walked about 17 steps all day.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Damn, didn’t win the lottery. It’s messing up my budget plan.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Forget mini pizzas. I want one so big it needs a forklift to rotate it.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

I need a browser plugin that disables Amazon when I’m drinking. Hashtag: don’t drink and Prime.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, getting ready for work, getting some sleep for work, or thinking about not wanting to go to work.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Your suitcase just texted. It’s getting bored.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Only time I believe a man is when he tells me that I’m pretty.

Making waves on Snapchat:

8 planets, 204 countries, thousands of islands, 7 seas, 8 billion people, and I’m single.

Freshly posted on Discord:

My love language is caffeine and being left alone until I’m kind again.

Making waves on Reddit:

I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

Just shared via Facebook:

Normalize saying “better you than me” to people who keep complaining about everything.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Every single bad day happened because I woke up.

Shared recently on Twitch:

The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, Eat cake.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Attention: will the owner of a small blue planet with tectonic plates please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.

Just landed via X:

I wish I was a cat, because the fatter you are, the more people like you.

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