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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Got so emotional thinking about the Toy Story aliens. They have each other.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Attention to detail is so sexy, study me, baby.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Lately I have the attention span of wait what?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

The egg doesn’t swim to the sperm, girl. Never chase a man.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Roman soldiers are all like “I’m going to fight you in this short yet tasteful leather skirt.”

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Only here for the honeymoon phase, don’t show me your true colors.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

I started at the bottom and worked my way down.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

A job interview is basically a conversation between two liars.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” is not a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,733

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.

Just landed via Messenger:

If parallel universe exist, I hope the other me is doing well.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Going to the beach is 99% getting ready for the beach and 1% enjoying the beach.

Seen just now on Messenger:

There is no ‘we’ in ‘food’.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Why are conclusions necessary in essays? Were you not following?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I accidentally clicked on an ad, so I guess I will see that product all over my phone until I’m dead.

Making waves on TikTok:

Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

Spotted on Discord:

Defeating imposter syndrome by actually being incompetent.

Shared recently on WeChat:

It’s funny how drinking 8 cups of water a day seems impossible, but 7 beers and 5 shots in two hours go down like a fat kid on a seesaw.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I wish people knew how good I can sing when I’m alone in my car and in my shower.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Reddit this month:

Being able to notice that a celebrity unfollowed another celebrity is some seriously jobless behaviour.

55 shares on X this month:

Nothing prepared me for the part of adulthood where you look like a baby deer learning to walk every time you get out of bed in the morning.

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m looking for friends with benefits. And by that I mean friends who have pools, boats and beautiful vacation homes.

34 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My parents told me I could be anything I wanted so I became unacceptable.

61 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You can recognize working-class kids by the fact that they hang their jacket over the chair in the restaurant and not on the coat hook.

29 shares on Telegram this month:

Weddings should have a worst man.

85 shares on Snapchat this month:

Only in America can a kid wear $150 shoes, sip a $8 coffee, and post from a $1,200 phone about being oppressed and claiming capitalism has failed them.

35 shares on X this month:

I hope this email kills us both.

34 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Every group chat has that one person who never replies, and it’s me.

46 shares on Discord this month:

Please don’t flirt with me. I’m trying not to cheat on my crush who doesn’t like me.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The day your kids stop waking up early on the weekend is the same day your body stops letting you sleep in.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate checking my bank account after having a good time.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The only way the climate is going to change is if it first admits it has a problem, there’s really nothing we can do.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Why would I go to my high school reunion? I didn’t want to be there the first time.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

When exactly does wisdom kick in? I feel like I’m just getting older.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Phew, I thought the weather was broken because there was this weird yellow thing in the sky. But all’s well, it’s raining again.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

“Get a life!” Have you seen some of the lives out there?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,419

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Accidentally used men’s shower gel today, and I can already feel myself lying for no reason.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

You know Santa isn’t real because no man over 40 is out past 9PM.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

So much anger in this small little body. I feel like a chihuahua.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

If Spotify has taught me anything, it’s that I don’t know the correct lyrics to any of my favorite songs.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

I hate being responsible for my own meals because I’ll either spoil myself or starve for most of the day.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

The economy’s so tough, people out here eating grass — matcha.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Discord is only good for calling friends on the computer. Please do not waste your time getting caught up in random servers.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

I have more photos of food on my phone than I do of my children.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Waiting in the grocery store parking lot for the rotisserie chickens to be ready. The thrill of the hunt.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I feel like I’ve skipped the whole ‘go out and have fun’ stage and went straight to being an 80-year-old woman.

Going viral on Messenger:

My therapist said this to me, and it hit me like a brick: “They’re not your friends if they disagree with you or try to challenge you.”

Seen just now on Messenger:

Microplastics are a waste of time. I go straight to eating whole packaging.

Breaking via Slack:

My chakra went out for cigarettes.

Live now on TikTok:

Kissing while both wearing baseball caps is so hard. How do baseball players do it?

Live now on WhatsApp:

“Baby on board” Okay, well, can you tell him to drive faster?

Breaking via Slack:

Went to the gym two days in a row. This is a fitness account now.

Just landed via Reddit:

I’m bad at being sad. Three minutes in, and I’m already making fun of my situation.

Just shared via Twitch:

There is no bigger lie than “fun for the whole family”.

Making waves on TikTok:

The more you embrace your crazy side, the more fun life becomes.

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