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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Whenever you feel like the world is falling apart, take a deep breath and remember you’re right.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

It’s funny how drinking 8 cups of water a day seems impossible, but 7 beers and 5 shots in two hours go down like a fat kid on a seesaw.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Live, laugh, lie to the doctor about how many drinks you have per week.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Give yourself time to heal. A couple of decades should do it.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

If you don’t have anything nice to say, sign up for Twitter.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

I let people skate. I never mention the ice is thin.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

I just shaved my legs and man, the next 7 minutes and 34 seconds before it starts growing back is gonna feel amazing.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Hardest part of beekeeping is thinking of all the names.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

When I was a kid, we still ate noodles. Then at some point we ate pasta. Today, we only eat carbs.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

No, you tell me what YOU were doing during that gap in my resume.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Cheers erupt as woman cuts into perfectly ripe avocado.

Breaking via Instagram:

My ex said I had commitment issues but this giant jar of Nutella says otherwise.

Going viral on Instagram:

Being a people pleaser that no one is pleased with is the main cause of my anxiety.

Trending via WhatsApp:

It’s fun getting room service. I just love eating a $19 hamburger at a desk in front of a mirror.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

There’s a reason we say cheese and not salad when we have to smile for a photo.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I found out my wife was cheating on me at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, and I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Shoutout to my kids because they aren’t listening!

Trending via Threads:

Taylor Swift should write a song about people who don’t return their shopping carts to the corrals.

Just shared via Telegram:

It’s a shame that you can’t hold people up to the light like banknotes to see whether they are fake or real.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

It whistles, doesn’t it? Your head when it’s windy.

Funny temper quotes

Funny temper quotes bring a hilarious twist to those fiery moments 🔥😆 When patience runs thin and emotions flare, a clever laugh can cool things down faster than a timeout ⏳😂 Whether you’re quick to spark or just love witty comebacks, these quotes will brighten your mood and remind you that everyone has a little wild side 😜💥 Ready to laugh off the heat? Let’s dive into some temper-taming humor! 🎉🤣

New funny temper quotes 👇

All funny temper quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on Twitch this month:

Sometimes I do something completely out of character, like say no to a slice of pizza, or trust someone.

19 shares on Facebook this month:

I should have peed before I left, and other things I’ll never learn: A memoir

63 shares on Instagram this month:

Menstruation is bizarre. It’s like something David Lynch would have came up with.

23 shares on Pinterest this month:

I thought my mixed signals were perfectly clear.

91 shares on Facebook this month:

Enemies to lovers is only good if they’re gay. If I wanted to see a man and a woman yell at each other, I’d just go downstairs and eat with my parents.

41 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

39 shares on TikTok this month:

“I’ve tasted going back to an ex, and I’ve tasted trying to fix a relationship before it breaks. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 10 p.m.”

74 shares on Snapchat this month:

There are many people who don’t like me and I am one of them.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

Of course I have critical thinking skills, I’m thinking critically of you right now.

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

I deserve a percentage of your pay if you ever stole any swag from me.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m the guy at Apple who makes sure all your featured photos are your exes and your dog that died.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

We got our carpet cleaned today, so I’m just waiting for the dog to throw up.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

To cut a long story short, I became a film editor.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

“I have a date with destiny.” Yeah well, I’m in a long-term relationship with the consequences of my actions.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

There should be an Olympics where athletes can take as many drugs as they want. Like, to hell with y’all, let’s see how high humans can really jump.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore. Your Katana skills are lacking.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If I ever become a ghost, I’m gonna go back and haunt college me. Tell him to hydrate.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m just here to make you wish I wasn’t.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m doing well at accomplishing nothing today and I’m very proud of myself.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I love surprising my girl, today she woke up single.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,596

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

I don’t know what millennial needs to hear this, but throw away the box your phone came in. You don’t need it. You will never need it.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

All the stops on the bus are pointless, except the one I’m getting off at.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

I love when my friends have quiet boyfriends. Like, girl, your dog is so good, sis.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

At least life has music.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Like, who are those little paper umbrellas trying to protect?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

The concept of hot water showers feeling so good but not actually being good for your hair or skin is disgusting.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

“Fox Mulder” is an aggressively sexy name.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

I’m best man at my buddy’s second wedding. Is it appropriate to open my dinner speech with “Welcome back everyone”?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Welcome to adulthood: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

And for my next trick, I’m going to make this first date the last date.

Just landed via Discord:

Don’t ask me why, but the older you get, the more you love coffee.

Making waves on Instagram:

“You’re so quiet!” Thanks! I actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me.

Broadcasted on X:

Resting bitch face saves me from so many conversations I don’t want to be part of.

Making waves on YouTube:

“OMG I love your personality,” thanks, it’s a disorder.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I’m pretty sure by now that we’re some kind of satire channel on some other planet.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Let’s ruin each other’s sleep schedules and call it romance.

Shared recently on Discord:

To anybody who thinks being self-employed means you don’t have to work for a boss you hate, I have terrible news.

Making waves on Telegram:

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.

Freshly posted on Slack:

People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible.

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