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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

I’ve never wrestled an angry alligator, but I have taken off a wet sports bra in the middle of summer. So, same thing.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

I see posts like, “If food is too expensive, just grow your own.” Okay, Einstein, why didn’t I think of that?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Flying bugs can basically go anywhere they want, but still choose to fly right into your face.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I found out why my computer keeps freezing. Apparently, I’ve got too many windows open.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Nice to finally get back that hour they stole earlier this year.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Hansel and Gretel weren’t wrong, every bad decision I’ve ever made started with being hungry.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Drugs do not ruin your career. Drug tests do.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Help, I accidentally used dark humor with normal people, and now they’re concerned for my mental health.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Asking my boyfriend if he would still date me if an alien had done experiments on me that killed me but, as a gesture of kindness, replaced me with a perfect replica, and he was the only one who knew.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,715

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

My favorite pirate song is “Aye of the Tiger”

Spotted on LinkedIn:

My neighbor is having some kind of party and didn’t invite me. I guess I have to call the cops again.

Seen just now on Discord:

“Get a life!” Have you seen some of the lives out there?

74 Funny tomorrow quotes

More funny tomorrow quotes 👇

Today, I started a 28-day no-swearing challenge, which I will restart tomorrow.

3 weeks ago

28-day, 28-day challenge, challenge, daily, daily goal, goal, humor, i, motivation, no-swearing, procrastination, restart, self-improvement, started, today, tomorrow
I can’t wait to open my phone tomorrow and find out what we’re mad about next.

3 weeks ago

anger, daily, daily life, expectation, frustration, humor, i, life, mad, media, next, open, phone, social, social media, surprise, tomorrow, wait
If there was a pill for procrastination… I’d probably take it tomorrow.

3 weeks ago

delay, humor, ID, joke, laziness, pill, procrastination, take, tomorrow
The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

3 weeks ago

bedtime, end, free, free time, humor, i, late, management, night, night owl, owl, procrastination, reason, sleep, start, stay, stay up late, time, time management, tomorrow, want

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All funny tomorrow quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on WeChat this month:

Don’t worry password, I’m insecure too.

66 shares on Facebook this month:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not having a midlife crisis, you’re just awake.

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If Liverpool play Real Madrid right now, both teams will lose the game.

88 shares on Messenger this month:

Eating nothing but beer for a month and calling that Oktoberfast.

46 shares on Reddit this month:

Few things in life are as disappointing as having to poop right after a shower.

60 shares on WeChat this month:

The same mosquito kept biting me last night. It probably thought it was at a wine tasting.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Don’t give up on your dreams. If cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles, you too can be anything you want.

38 shares on Slack this month:

The only time your man will surprise you is when you specifically tell him what you want.

44 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Every Sunday is superbowel if you eat enough chili.

91 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won’t notice. Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

All I’m saying is that big burgers should be wider not taller.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Why does Bruce Wayne, the billionaire, not simply rig Gotham City’s elections in favor of tough-on-crime candidates?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I think about Adam and Eve and how they couldn’t even get a babysitter.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Demi Lovato is short for demilitarized love potato.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Do married people watch Gen Z dating and feel like they caught the last chopper out of Nam?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

People tell me to just be myself like that would be a good thing.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

If life was a video game, right now would be the time where I randomly press buttons because I don’t know what to do.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Asking my landlord if he has any Cyber Monday deals.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

I offered my nephew a donut and he said “no thanks, I’m not hungry right now” and I don’t think this little guy knows how donuts work.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’m going to be a printer today and just not work.

Just shared via Messenger:

Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says “oh, you want to see crazy?” Reassure her that you do not.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

What do you mean a baguette isn’t a female bag?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I don’t understand the concept of “the man of your dreams”. Every time my wife wakes up after dreaming about me, she is really pissed off about something dream me did.

Just landed via Threads:

I have browser tabs open that are older than you.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I want to be the kind of person who eats half a grapefruit for breakfast and runs every morning, but I also want to be happy.

Going viral on X:

Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money.

Breaking via WeChat:

Now I understand why old people sit outside just to sit outside.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I may have bags under my eyes, but they’re Versace.

Just shared via Reddit:

My super talent is hitting every red light on the way to wherever the hell I’m going.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

74 Funny tomorrow quotes

More funny tomorrow quotes 👇

Today, I started a 28-day no-swearing challenge, which I will restart tomorrow.

I can’t wait to open my phone tomorrow and find out what we’re mad about next.

If there was a pill for procrastination… I’d probably take it tomorrow.

The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

All funny tomorrow quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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