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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

I remember when I was broke… I’m still broke, that’s why I remember so well.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Coffee is just goth water.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Cleaning your kid’s room will piss you off, cause why is my Airfryer in here?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

I’m having an orange, and the dogs keep looking at me like, “stop eating that ball, dude.”

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Marriages are like pancakes. Sometimes you gotta throw the first one out.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

The only joke my mom ever made was me.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Hear me out, a Q-Tip that doesn’t bounce out the trash can when you throw it away.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

I feel so bad when I overtake an old person on the sidewalk. Like, man, I really didn’t mean to flex on you with my youthful stride.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

231 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,500

Funny Quotes Topics

17,568

Funny Quotes Images

15,500

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,301

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

Okay, fall, I see you showing a lil’ leg.

Making waves on Threads:

I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning.

Seen just now on Twitch:

What is your favorite movie where Tom Cruise runs really fast?

Going viral on Messenger:

If only vehicles could be equipped with little blinky lights on the corners to alert other drivers the direction they wished to turn.

Trending via Facebook:

Maybe women decided to convince men that beards were sexy because they were sick of cleaning the washbasin after he shaved.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Once your parents move from “What time are you coming back” to “Are you coming back today,” you have won the war.

Broadcasted on X:

My car spider built a web across my steering wheel and now I can’t go anywhere.

Trending via Twitch:

Does no one disappear in the Bermuda Triangle anymore, or is there just too much other news?

Going viral on Telegram:

If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything about something, please let me know.

Making waves on Facebook:

When people give me directions and they’re like “you can’t miss it,” I’m like, “Oh, you do not know what I’m capable of.”

Funny traffic light quotes

Funny traffic light quotes 🚦 are the perfect way to add some humor to those everyday stop-and-go moments! Whether you’re stuck at a red light or cruising through green, these witty lines will make you smile 😄 and maybe even rethink your road rage. Ready to turn your traffic time into giggle time? Let’s dive into some hilarious takes on those colorful signals that rule our roads! 😂🚗💡

New funny traffic light quotes 👇

All funny traffic light quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Twitch this month:

When Dr. Seuss wrote, “Oh, The Places You’ll Go,” he did not consider how comfortable my couch would be.

67 shares on Twitch this month:

Dress for the demons you want, not the demons you have.

17 shares on Reddit this month:

Today I learned that up to half of the worker ants in a colony are only pretending to work, just looking busy so they don’t get tasked with anything. I respect ants so much more.

58 shares on Messenger this month:

Sometimes I rock it as a parent, other times I drop my phone on my sleeping child while taking a picture of it. It’s called balance.

13 shares on Messenger this month:

If you accuse me of yelling, you will start to hear yelling so you can note the difference in the future.

42 shares on Twitch this month:

Asking the waiter for her phone number and then texting her “can I have more coffee?” two minutes later.

57 shares on Facebook this month:

Made the mistake of believing what I was told again.

100 shares on Threads this month:

People often mistake me for an adult because of my age.

85 shares on Instagram this month:

If you inject Botox into a raisin, does it turn back into a grape?

27 shares on Snapchat this month:

People should be able to call in healthy: “Look, I’m not coming into the office today. I feel really good and I don’t want to waste it on being at work.“

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If you make it through life without being portrayed in a murder documentary, take the win.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them. They’re just looking for their brain.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Waffles are just pancakes with convenient boxes to hold your syrup.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry I didn’t text you back. I’m really busy watching the The Lord of The Rings in the form of mini clips on TikTok.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

“Are we still going?” … An introvert’s attempt to cancel.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

A little mischievousness is good for the soul.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If you burned CDs for the car so your original copies wouldn’t get scratched, it’s time to schedule your colonoscopy.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Autumn and winter are coming. The time when I make myself tea and always forget that I’ve made myself tea.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Just so you know, what you now call an energy bar is what my father gave the canary.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they are dead.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

231 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,500

Funny Quotes Topics

17,568

Funny Quotes Images

15,500

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,367

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

My favorite military tradition is asking someone what an acronym means right after they use it, and they don’t know what it means.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how quiet your bathroom exhaust fan was.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

My neighbors were up shouting all night. I could barely hear my bagpipes.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

I don’t like talking to people with an IQ lower than the room temperature.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Living your life to the fullest does not have to involve selfies with bison.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Called in, “If we’re living in a simulation, just simulate that I’m in the office today.”

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Perhaps an evening in the meditation cage will soothe you.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Been acting really busy today because I can tell my coworker wants to talk about something in his personal life.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Silence is my favourite form of communication in the morning.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

A garlic a day keeps the doctor away.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

If you’re dating an alpha female, you need to know that they need to be babied at night, or else they will turn into a dragon.

Just shared via Instagram:

Every day when I get home, I thank my cats for allowing me to live in their house.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Most people in your life will come and go but occasionally you’ll meet someone really special who makes you contemplate murder.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Why’d they call it a fly swatter and not a splatula?

Going viral on Pinterest:

Me, at the intervention: “Ah look, all the reasons I drink gathered in one place.”

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The possibility of monsters residing underneath your bed is negated when the mattress is positioned on the floor.

Just shared via Discord:

Nobody stresses a woman out more than a man who isn’t her man yet.

Just landed via Twitch:

Wondering when these skinny jeans are gonna kick in.

Seen just now on Slack:

I hate being at the age where you feel obligated to buy your whole family gifts for Christmas, but also the age where your bank account doesn’t feel obligated to support that.

Going viral on WeChat:

I don’t understand construction. Like, how do they know what to do next?

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