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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Having Twitter is just like reading the newspaper, except the newspaper is on fire and all the writers hate you.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at social gatherings.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

If you look close enough, everyone is insane.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

In case of a disaster, women and children are being evacuated first so men can think about a solution in peace.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Humble enough to know I can be replaced, but wise enough to know ain’t nobody else like me.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

I want someone to care for me as much as Netflix cares if someone has logged into my account from another device.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Mixed signals mean they don’t like you like that. It’s that simple.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Applying lip balm when you know someone’s watching you is a power move.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

You ever tried driving the speed limit and thought, “They can’t be serious.”

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

I was waiting on the universe but the universe was actually waiting on me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2075 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,237

Funny Quotes Topics

14,981

Funny Quotes Images

12,237

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

Spotted on Telegram:

I like riding by myself so I can replay 1 song 111 times with no complaints.

Shared recently on Discord:

I’m convinced a lot of people online are communicating from prison.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Stop normalizing things, we’ll run out of the weird shit.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Caught my husband staring at me again. He’s probably weighing his pros and cons.

Making waves on Instagram:

Presumably, if you had a time machine, you could just kill young adult Hitler. The baby part seems gratuitous.

Going viral on Reddit:

Normalise following up to an ignored email with “helllooooooo?”

Just shared via Twitch:

Called in, “If we’re living in a simulation, just simulate that I’m in the office today.”

Shared recently on Twitch:

An introvert walked into a bar. Just kidding. The introvert stayed home.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Another fine day ruined by waking up.

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Funny true love quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2075 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,237

Funny Quotes Topics

14,981

Funny Quotes Images

12,237

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Like many men my age, my biggest regret is hiring the inexpensive hitman.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

“You’re so self-aware!” Thanks, it’s ruining my life.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Sure, money can’t buy happiness, but it can definitely buy a jet ski… and have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Whenever I have a headache, I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

I could never journal, I’d start lying in there too.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Ironically people who are good at giving advice find it difficult to follow their own.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

I logged on to Amazon and they said that they have run out of things that I don’t need.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean that it ain’t gonna be a hell of a lot of fun.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Going viral on Snapchat:

“Never let someone else destroy your stuff when you can destroy it yourself”, every kid I ever.

Reported on Threads:

Yoda, seeing himself in 4K: HDMI

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

“Well at least I don’t have to wake up any more.” Is what I want my tombstone to say.

Trending via Discord:

At my age, “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what you came in there for.

Breaking via Slack:

Elevators frighten me. I take steps to avoid them.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I don’t care if my parents are disappointed in me, I’m not impressed by them either.

Shared recently on Threads:

Best threesome: me, my bed and my pillow.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Any house is an Airbnb if you’re quiet enough.

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