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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Zoom is really only for one thing: realizing our dream of staring at ourselves while talking to other people.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

If you accuse me of yelling, you will start to hear yelling so you can note the difference in the future.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Okay, I’ve proved I’m not a robot, now you prove you’re not a human.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Not eating the cookie I’m craving. I better wake up skinny tomorrow.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

If you see me looking zoned out, it’s because I’m having a therapy session with myself in my head.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Sure the Lego botanical sets are great but dusting them is another story.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

The only recipes they have online are where I’m the one who’s supposed to buy all this stuff and then make it. That’s not what I’m looking for.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,395

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

Don’t blame the alcohol. You were an idiot before you started drinking.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

My wallet is empty, just like my soul.

Freshly posted on Slack:

My husband is trying to convince me that we’re in a situationship. “The situation is that we live in the same house and love each other.”

Trending via Slack:

Starting my period on election day because I’m a true patriot who bleeds for this country.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’m bad at being sad. Three minutes in, and I’m already making fun of my situation.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Anyone else think it’s weird how cancer kills more people than any other astrological sign.

Going viral on Telegram:

I bet she doesn’t even laugh at your dumb jokes the fake way I did.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

No one my age is single because they’re all unhappily married.

Just landed via Messenger:

Even if you like anime, you gotta still wear deodorant, man.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I hope some dyslexic people don’t mail Satan instead of Santa.

Funny true love quotes

Funny true love quotes bring a hilarious twist to matters of the heart ❤️‍🔥😂 From awkward first dates to quirky habits, these gems capture love’s perfectly imperfect moments. Whether you’re swooning or snorting with laughter, get ready to celebrate romance with a smile 😍🤣💕 Because love isn’t just sweet—it’s downright funny too!

New funny true love quotes 👇

All funny true love quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on Messenger this month:

WFH is so great until you realize you’ve walked about 17 steps all day.

42 shares on Snapchat this month:

You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

64 shares on Discord this month:

People my age are raising children, and I’m just here trying to bribe myself with treats into doing my own chores.

53 shares on Instagram this month:

I want a girlfriend so hot that people walking down the street know that I am funny.

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

Printers and computers treat each other like they broke up the night before, and you’re their mutual friend.

27 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s not you. Just the things you say, think, and do.

42 shares on Messenger this month:

The words I can’t wait to hear someday, “I’m sorry, Mom, you were right about everything.”

54 shares on Slack this month:

My dream DUI is driving a Saab through the Great British Bake Off tent.

90 shares on Twitch this month:

This gratitude journal looks a lot like a grocery list.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

They should name a personality disorder after me.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Good news: I set an all time high today! Bad news: It’s my cholesterol.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t. I’m busy taking this Buzzfeed quiz to find out what kind of potato I am.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder if this is all happening because I opened that umbrella inside.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The medicine for headache goes to the stomach to do what, exactly?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

This place was really tidy yesterday. It’s a shame you missed it.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Everybody in the grocery store is my enemy, and I will not be elaborating.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Most people don’t listen at all, they just wait until they can continue talking.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If my cats are going to insist upon me getting up early, they’re going to have to learn how to make coffee.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,426

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

There’s literally no law that says you can’t put your friends down as your references and pretend they were your boss at an old job. Literally, there’s no law that says that.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

I put the “pro” in procrastinate.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

My superpower is always picking the line at the grocery store that moves the slowest.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

“Why are you so quiet?” Because I’m barely even here.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

They’re selling me on Temu tomorrow.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Some people are storms dressed like sunsets. Beautiful from a distance. Dangerous up close.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Next time I feel incompetent at my job, I hope I remember that someone once pushed a live software update that crashed half the planet.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

It takes so much energy to go inside a Walmart.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Wife bought something on FB Marketplace, but she’s afraid she’ll get kidnapped, so she sends me to pick it up from a guy whose wife sent him because she’s afraid to get kidnapped.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I’ve decided that I’m going to underthink today.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says “Smell this,” it usually smells nice.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I’m not good with plants or people, but I am good with books and buffets.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Everyone’s gangsta till you’re waiting on your dog to poop.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

Just landed via Snapchat:

People tell me to just be myself like that would be a good thing.

Going viral on Pinterest:

The best cuddles are the ones where you don’t have to deflate her when you’re done.

Just landed via Instagram:

You can’t get a good night’s sleep anymore because of woke.

Trending via X:

Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I want to live in a world where TV sitcoms have catchy theme songs again.

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