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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Can’t. Typing a password into a TV.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

I wanted to study psychology, but I have more potential as a patient, to be honest.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

I try to contain my craziness, but the lid keeps popping off.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Not feeling fergalicious today, actually feeling pretty fergusting right now.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Psych meds aren’t enough anymore. Hit me with a shovel.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Life is short. Make sure you spend as much time as possible on the web arguing with strangers.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

3 minutes ago

3,420

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Discord:

I’ve realized about a third of my life is spent trying to ignore the fact that I have to pee.

Shared recently on X:

Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.

Going viral on Pinterest:

In honor of the fall equinox, I will also be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Just shared via Twitch:

I watched a woman clean her whole house on YouTube today, in case you thought I lacked ambition.

Making waves on YouTube:

When I see chocolate, I hear two voices inside me. One says: “Eat it!”. The other says: “Did you hear that? You’re supposed to eat it!”

Spreading quickly via Slack:

My signature move is waving at someone who is waving at the person behind me.

Shared recently on X:

Me: I’m an introvert. Vodka: No, you’re not.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

People who are on Twitter and put intelligent in their bio, good one.

Trending via Reddit:

One of my biggest talents is taking hundreds of screenshots that I swear I’ll need, but I never look at them again.

Spotted on Twitch:

My biggest fear is waking up and being in the Renaissance era or something. Imagine having the knowledge of hot dogs but lacking the tools to make them.

Home » Funny Turn Off Quotes

Funny turn off quotes

New funny turn off quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: I can’t wait til I have hearing aids, so I can just turn them off when I’m tired of hearing everyone.

Commentary:
"Can you imagine the peace and quiet? Just a flick of a switch and boom – instant silence in a noisy world 🤫 Who needs noise-canceling headphones when you've got hearing aids on standby! 😂"
6 months ago
Share →: The universe clearly isn’t working as it should so someone should turn it off and back on again.

Commentary:
"Looks like the universe needs some IT support! 🌌💻 Maybe it's stuck in a cosmic loop, time for a reboot! 🔄🌠 Who do we call for intergalactic tech support? 👾📞"
6 months ago
Share →: She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

Commentary:
Looks like those fruit flies were determined to buzz their way into a relationship, but unfortunately, their courting tactics might need a bit of fine-tuning 🍌🦟 At least they were committed to showing her some "a-peel", even if their methods were a bit unconventional! 🤣

For even more funny turn off quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny turn off quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

3 minutes ago

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

In my 20s: I’m gonna live forever! In my 40s: uh oh!

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Shouldn’t it have been called the ‘not answering machine’?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

I love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

My favorite hobby is withering away.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

I’m forced to conclude that not liking my posts is a you problem.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

The first thing you learn to draw in art school is money from your parents bank account.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

The highlight of my weekends is slipping into something more comfortable and putting my feet up.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

Some people stay longer in a toilet than in a relationship.

Live now on Slack:

Spent most of the day making sure my couch still works. So far so good.

Spotted on Pinterest:

It is very hard to set aside the time to do your taxes when you are really busy doing other things like eating a snack or looking around the room.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I’m feeling sexy today. You’ve been warned.

Reported on X:

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Why did they call it an Amazon wishlist and not an ‘Oughttobuyography’.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Women love it when you approach them on the street and say “whoa, is there a hot babe convention in town?”

Reported on Telegram:

That awkward moment when you’re about to leave work and your boss says “before you go”.

Reported on Snapchat:

Lego bricks are classic educational toys. You step on them once and you can do ballet.

Spotted on TikTok:

Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

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