Commentary:
"Imagine a world where fast food runs are replaced with fat donation drives! 🍔💪 Don't fret, those extra slices of pizza might just save a life! 🍕🦸♂️ Who needs a superhero when you can be a fat-healer! 💥😂"
31 Funny weight loss quotes
I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.
Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'cookie chaser' diet technique – because nothing says 'healthy lifestyle' like using dessert to swallow your diet pill 🍪💊 Hopefully the cookies don't cancel out the pill! 😅"
I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.
Commentary:
"Looks like patience weighs more than we thought! 🤣 Maybe try a 'lose your patience' diet next time, it seems more effective! 🍩🕰️ #DietFail"
Want to lose weight for the summer? Don’t worry, just check in your luggage at the airport. You’ll never see those pounds again.
Commentary:
"Need to shed some pounds for summer? No problem! Just sneak those extra snacks into your luggage at the airport and voilà – instant weight loss, guaranteed! 🧳✈️ Say goodbye to those pesky pounds, bon voyage!"
I think I’m about six months away from the perfect ‘before’ picture.
Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal quest for that ideal 'before' picture! Just six more months of procrastination, snacks, and Netflix marathons. 🍕📺 You've got this! 💪😅"
Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.
Commentary:
"Wouldn't that be a dream come true! 🌟 Instead, it seems like most labels have a disclaimer that translates to: Warning, may cause extra trips to the snack cabinet and sudden urge to nap. 😂 Oh, the irony of medication side effects! #WishfulThinking"
My new diet plan is to hibernate and live off all this fat I’ve accumulated.
Commentary:
"Looks like you've got the ultimate winter survival strategy – move over bears, there's a new hibernator in town! 🐻🍔 #HibernateAndChill"
Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.
Commentary:
"Diet day #1: Saying goodbye to all the tempting treats like a true warrior… and by 'goodbye', I mean 'see you later, when I sneak out for a midnight snack.' 🍔🍩🏃♂️ #HealthyChoices #FoodStruggles"
This summer went by so fast, I didn’t even get a chance to lose any weight.
Commentary:
Summer speeds by quicker than my motivation for dieting! 🍔⏳😅
My weight loss journey is just the three hours in between meals.
Commentary:
Sounds like a well-balanced diet of hopeful thinking and frequent snacking! 🍔⏳😂