Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Hardly a day goes by without me being reminded that an academic degree has nothing to do with intelligence.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Lost my job to AI (my job was to be loudly and confidently incorrect).

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

My favorite part of parenting is being exhausted all the time and losing the will to live.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

That awesome moment when you open the fridge and the first thing you see is the thing you wanted to eat.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Mornings would be fine if they started later.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Adulthood – a never-ending story of shit you have to do.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Imagine the carnage at an IKEA team building event.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

How does pasta water know when you’re not looking?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,333

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

Sex in the snow is wintercourse.

Just shared via Instagram:

Threw my back out due to overwhelming sensuality again.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

There I was, quietly reliving my dream of having my own house, when suddenly I was attacked by insane prices.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not working.

Seen just now on Reddit:

No better feeling than getting home and realizing you forgot the one thing you went out for.

Going viral on Telegram:

Hey (threateningly), can I join your years-old, tight-knit, close friend group?

Just landed via Facebook:

Let’s be honest. The best moment of the day is when we take off our bra.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

If she wants the moon, you get her the moon.

Trending via Snapchat:

Sleep is a free trial of death but with ads.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I love making the whole conversation so awkward that the most anyone can say after is “so yeah…”

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Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Reddit this month:

Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

86 shares on Messenger this month:

Some things are better left unsaid, but people get drunk and say them anyway.

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Good morning, especially if they tried to make you go to rehab and you said “no, no, no.”

26 shares on Telegram this month:

“Don’t judge a book by its cover” is a beautiful, powerful sentiment that I fully ignore when book shopping.

97 shares on WeChat this month:

Breaking news is really breaking me.

82 shares on Instagram this month:

Such is modern life. Mordor in our midst.

66 shares on Telegram this month:

I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to get home from work tomorrow.

15 shares on Discord this month:

I can do a lot of things, but listening to someone chew is not one of them.

99 shares on X this month:

Learning to be Alpha from YouTube.

71 shares on Telegram this month:

If idiots could fly, TikTok would be an airport.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My cat, who has no job and pays no rent, is apparently unhappy with his fancy new cat food, and I, for some reason, am currently on my way back to the store to rectify the matter.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe I’ll quit so I can focus on summer.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Scams used to be like “free money!” and now they’re like “hello, we have a job for you”, which seems to be a bad sign.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The biggest difference between my toddler and me is that if I had poop on my butt, that’d be priority #1.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Why does Bruce Wayne, the billionaire, not simply rig Gotham City’s elections in favor of tough-on-crime candidates?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I slowed down but I had to calculate if the bridge could hold the weight of my car with all the stuffed animals my kids insisted on bringing on vacation.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” is my favorite story about how everyone treats you like shit until they need something from you.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Please do not test me. I’ve been saving up my rage like PTO.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,746

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

I downloaded a meditation app. Now I’m stressed about missing sessions.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Your pronouns are “side/chick”.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

I don’t get why banks tie pens with strings. We trust them with money, but they can’t trust us with a single pen.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

You can learn a lot about a person by observing their every waking movement from a tree outside their house.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Thought you guys should know this was only Monday. It’s also still Monday.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Do we barbecue with women or without salad?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

I hate when someone on a magazine cover stares at me while I eat.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

People my age are raising children, and I’m just here trying to bribe myself with treats into doing my own chores.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Messenger:

Once your parents move from “What time are you coming back” to “Are you coming back today,” you have won the war.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I’m only awake because my coffee needs me.

Live now on Instagram:

I hate when the iPhone corrects ‘Omw’ to ‘On my way!’. Man, I am not that excited.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

They say 30 is the new 20, and 40 the new 30. All I know is 9 p.m. is the new midnight.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

When someone says they’re never going to talk to me again, I do the right thing and say thank you.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Walking up to any crime scene and whispering within the crowd, “It’s started again, hasn’t it?” then leaving.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Before Google, if you didn’t know something you had to go ask someone and most of the time they couldn’t help you, and now that’s also how Google works.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I don’t do exercise because one time I kneed myself in the face doing a burpee.

Spotted on Pinterest:

One day you’ll find someone obsessed with you. It’s probably going to be a squirrel.

Going bananas on Instagram:

If the earth is so flat, explain why cats haven’t pushed everything off it yet. You can’t.

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