Good morning to everyone — except me, because I clearly didn’t get enough sleep.

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I pretend I don’t care about stuff, but that’s only because I have no idea what’s going on around me at any given time.

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Play your cards right and we could be wearing matching fanny packs this summer.

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I hate to break it to you, guys, but my husband says you’re not real. He just called you my imaginary friends.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.

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Girls don’t actually shop. We just walk round touching the clothes saying ‘this is cute’.

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Great news everyone! The priest who took my confession is expected to make a full recovery.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Death doesn’t scare me, but a group of dogs fighting while I’m walking alone on the street does.