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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

It’s been so long since I had sex last, went jogging in flip flops just to remember the sound.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

This gratitude journal looks a lot like a grocery list.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Sex in the snow is wintercourse.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Laptops become possessed with slowness when they see that you are in a hurry.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

I’ll call it a smartphone when I yell “Where’s my phone?” and it yells back “Down here in the couch cushions!”

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Forced to say “it’s okay” instead of throwing a chair at them.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

A blind guy felt my face and said, “Wonderful.”

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Milk teeth are wasted on children. A new set of teeth would be a lot more useful when you’re older.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Someone is probably in the worst argument of their life right now. LOL!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

799 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,961

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,961

59 minutes ago

3,421

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

The neighbor sneezes loudly from the balcony. And because I’m a polite person, I shout loudly: Disgusting!

Shared recently on Discord:

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

Shared recently on Discord:

If you’re going to be weird, be confident about it.

Live now on TikTok:

Women swear they be broke… Then, all of a sudden, here comes that Shein delivery.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Roman soldiers are all like “I’m going to fight you in this short yet tasteful leather skirt.”

Seen just now on Messenger:

I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

Shared recently on Twitch:

They should make you watch a training video and pass a little test before you’re allowed to touch the office coffee maker.

Reported on X:

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

Spotted on TikTok:

Narcissus fell in love with his own image, but was immediately annoyed at how it always tried to talk while he was talking.

Having a peanut allergy has to be so wild. Like, imagine you’re at a baseball game and there are people chucking bags of rattlesnakes past your head.

6 months ago

Having a peanut allergy has to be so wild. Like, imagine you’re at a baseball game and there are people chucking bags of rattlesnakes past your head.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh man, having a peanut allergy must be quite the adventure! 🥜🐍 Just when you thought dodging foul balls was challenging enough, now you have airborne rattlesnakes to contend with! Talk about taking "peanut gallery" to a whole new level! Stay alert, folks! 🤣🥜🐍 #AllergyAdventures

allergy, baseball, baseball game, event, experience, food, food allergy, funny observation, game, having, head, humor, imagine, observation, past, peanut, peanut allergy, people, rattlesnake, situation, sports, sports event, unexpected, unexpected situation, wild, wild experience

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

799 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,961

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,961

59 minutes ago

3,439

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Are you coming to the party? There will be noise and lights but I found a corner for us to hide.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, you’d almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

There should be a Mad Max movie that reveals the world outside Australia has actually remained pretty normal.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Might start a YouTube channel “will it hurt if I drop it on my foot”.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Shazam, but for whatever the hell goes on in the apartment upstairs.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Ping me if your boobs glow in the dark.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

That gap in my resume is from when I was lost at sea.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

I love being a pretty woman because it widens the threshold for cringe-worthy things I can say.

Going viral on Threads:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to pull all nighters.

Going viral on Twitch:

A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I’m not overweight, I’m on the wrong planet.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I made all my money in the 80s selling Rubik’s Hammers. They were for those cubes that thought they were smarter than you.

Just shared via Reddit:

If I had known I looked this sexy in glasses, I would’ve stopped being able to see a long time ago.

Just shared via Slack:

I hate being responsible for my own meals because I’ll either spoil myself or starve for most of the day.

Reported on Snapchat:

I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.

Going viral on TikTok:

Absolutely destroyed my bed last night… I cuddled those covers so hard.

Just landed via Instagram:

The volume of my TV is 100% dependent on what I’m currently chewing on.

Going viral on Pinterest:

My only chance at a big house in the country is if I become a rescue dog.

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