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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

The older I get, no.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

I should have peed before I left, and other things I’ll never learn: A memoir

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

I don’t like to call it a xenomorph — I prefer the term “the alien from Alien.”

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

It’s getting slide guitar and harmonica hot outside.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

“Hope this email finds you doing well!” The email found me, therefore I am unwell.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Girls be like, “Baby, I have a great idea,” and it’s a trip you have to pay for.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

In case no one told you today. I’m beautiful.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,406

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

I think my type is a nice person.

Live now on LinkedIn:

According to autocorrect, my favorite Star Wars character is Bob’s Feet.

Making waves on Discord:

If anything I post makes you mad, just know that it pleases me.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Sharpening pencils at the bin was the biggest link-up.

Trending via Reddit:

This bouncer’s lucky I’m with my lady and physically frightened of him or he’d be in a world of pain.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I hate that I present as an independent woman who doesn’t need any help. It’s a facade. Help me.

Seen just now on X:

There should be a website where you post your wishes, and rich people who don’t know what to do with their money give you an anonymous gift.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

Going viral on Threads:

Is my life this bad because I didn’t forward that email to 15 people back in 2007?

Seen just now on YouTube:

If the number 666 is considered evil, then technically, 25.8069758 is the root of all evil.

Having a peanut allergy has to be so wild. Like, imagine you’re at a baseball game and there are people chucking bags of rattlesnakes past your head.

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Having a peanut allergy has to be so wild. Like, imagine you’re at a baseball game and there are people chucking bags of rattlesnakes past your head.
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Commentary:
Oh man, having a peanut allergy must be quite the adventure! 🥜🐍 Just when you thought dodging foul balls was challenging enough, now you have airborne rattlesnakes to contend with! Talk about taking "peanut gallery" to a whole new level! Stay alert, folks! 🤣🥜🐍 #AllergyAdventures

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t think either person should pay for the first date. It should be on the house.

35 shares on WeChat this month:

You did all that terrible driving just to end up right next to me at the stop light.

59 shares on Telegram this month:

“You have reached your monthly article limit,” – a website you’ve never accessed before today.

55 shares on YouTube this month:

If you wake up early enough, you can go back to sleep for a few hours. Not everyone knows this.

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

90 shares on Twitch this month:

My sleeping pattern ain’t even a pattern anymore, it’s a freestyle that’s on shuffle.

96 shares on Facebook this month:

Playing Mortal Kombat at an arcade in the 90’s would fix me.

91 shares on WeChat this month:

What many call beauty can just be wiped off 90% of the time.

10 shares on Reddit this month:

Asking the birds outside my window if they know any Metallica.

76 shares on Telegram this month:

Internet strangers offer the best advice.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Egyptians did pretty well for a civilization that wrote entirely in emoji.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s all fun and games until your jeans no longer fit.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The question I ask myself most often is, “What would a jury think about this?”

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to middle age: your chin looks lonely; here’s another one.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Let the kids believe in Santa. I believed the Undertaker and Kane were brothers.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My youngest had a mandatory drugs and alcohol lecture today at school, and he still can’t mix a proper drink.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate apps that shut off your music when you open them, like how fu*king important do you think you are?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,616

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Never make a promise you can’t keep rescheduling.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

I deserve a love so pure that my nervous system can finally rest.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Nothing worse than realising you vented to the wrong person.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

What did parents do before smart phones, hold their babies with two hands or something?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m doing well at accomplishing nothing today and I’m very proud of myself.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Spotify Wrapped, but for all your bad decisions this year.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I’m really getting tired of being a responsible adult.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the best thirst trap poster of them all?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

“Are you getting your period?” God forbid I’m just evil.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

Do you mind if I wear my black T-shirt covered in pet hair to your fine dining establishment?

Just shared via Facebook:

Need someone to feed me Doritos while I read, so I don’t mess up the pages. No weirdos.

Shared recently on Slack:

Before marrying someone, listen long and hard to the sounds of their chewing, because that’s the soundtrack to the rest of your life.

Spotted on X:

“You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Dating app that matches you based on your risk tolerance for airport arrival timing.

Going viral on Discord:

I’ll call it a smartphone when I yell “Where’s my phone?” and it yells back “Down here in the couch cushions!”

Just landed via Pinterest:

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Ironically, smoking bacon will cure it.

Trending via Reddit:

The laundromat should give you XP and ranks like “Slimelord” and “Glunkfather,” based on how dirty your clothes are.

Trending via Threads:

Just took a nap in jeans. No one will ever understand the darkness that lurks inside me.

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