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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

The final act of love is not texting them happy birthday.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

I’d rather be spotted in a strip club than a Subway.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

The smaller the woman, the bigger the attitude. It’s science.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

The reason the world felt like a better place during your childhood is because you were a child.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

It’s okay, wobbly chair, I’m unstable too.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

I see from the back of your car that you have found Jesus, but not your turn signal.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

The fact that someone looked straight at a purple onion and named it red onion really bothers me.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

I believe libraries are our proof that we once valued curiosity.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,405

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

Eating cookies left for Santa because the cowboy was a no show.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Perfume is designed to be an invisible accessory. It’s not designed to instantly kill the canary when you entered the room.

Spreading quickly via X:

Anything is free if you can outrun security. The more you know.

Spreading quickly via X:

Welcome to your 40’s: oh you like surprises? here’s another chin. Surprise!

Going viral on YouTube:

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

Shared recently on YouTube:

These cannot be the same knees that used to get low in heels at the club.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

The phone is the most evil screen. The computer is somewhat evil, but less so than the phone. The TV is benevolent.

Just shared via Twitch:

I talk to myself mostly because I am an excellent listener.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Due to unfortunate circumstances, things are no longer fergalicious nor bootylicious.

I called the cops on my own party, because I was ready to go to bed.

2 months ago

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When you know you're the life of the party but also the head of the bedtime committee 😂🛏️🎉

bed, bedtime, call, cop, cops, event, humor, i, joke, own, party, ready, sleep, social, social event

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30 shares on Messenger this month:

Your coworker is not hot; they’re just within 10 feet of you 40 hours a week.

63 shares on Reddit this month:

We live in a cosmic tornado, but sure, let’s all get jobs.

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

84 shares on TikTok this month:

Instead of cleaning my house, I just watch episodes of hoarders on TV and then I think “Wow, my house looks awesome!”

50 shares on Facebook this month:

I think we just need to accept that the 90’s was our peak as a species.

30 shares on Slack this month:

Iced coffee and crying, the most Californian afternoon.

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

88 shares on WeChat this month:

Accidentally used my real personality at work today… heading to HR now.

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Why are people always so scared of self-checkouts when shopping? It’s much quicker and you always get something for free.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

This entire year has been the Nightmare Before Christmas.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

I’ve started eating healthier and exercising if you’re wondering why I’m in such a crappy mood all of a sudden.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Not sure why I drink anymore. I get the same effect from standing up too fast.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Work from home is all fun and games until you lose grip on reality.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Cloud 9 is a very high place to fall from.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg, we should totally start a pamphlet”

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

You can add tears while cooking if you don’t have salt.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Wild how we don’t get a public holiday for Wrestlemania, but okay.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Why do guys named Timothy go by Tim when they could go by Moth?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

In terms of wasting time, today was very productive.

Making waves on Twitch:

I’m sorry, being on social media gave you the impression I’m a social person.

Just landed via Twitch:

Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.

Just landed via Facebook:

Welcome to your 50s… A new pain will be be assigned to you shortly.

Spotted on Telegram:

Instead of likes, we should get a little kiss.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I crashed my bike in 1989 and hurt my knee real bad. We didn’t have social media back then so I’m telling you guys now.

Making waves on Threads:

Don’t rub your happiness in people’s faces this Valentine’s Day. Let the couples enjoy themselves for once.

Breaking via Snapchat:

If you think I’m annoying, give it some time. You’ll know for sure pretty soon.

Just shared via Discord:

I like it when you’re reading a comic and you can tell the writer is pissed about what the last writer did to the character.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Your card declining when you know you have money is a very funny experience.

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Activity Log ✨

I called the cops on my own party, because I was ready to go to bed.

Skinny people are easier to get blown around by storms. These donuts are for my safety.

I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

He said he thinks I’m resilient to everything, so I thanked him, but on second thought, he may have low key called me a cockroach.

Easiest way to ragebait a finance bro is to start the ‘why can’t we print more money’ conversation.

He likes when I shakalaka, so, woop, there it is.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I called the cops on my own party, because I was ready to go to bed.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Skinny people are easier to get blown around by storms. These donuts are for my safety.

I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

He said he thinks I’m resilient to everything, so I thanked him, but on second thought, he may have low key called me a cockroach.

Easiest way to ragebait a finance bro is to start the ‘why can’t we print more money’ conversation.

There should be a good 10 hours in between waking up and having to interact with people.

He likes when I shakalaka, so, woop, there it is.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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