Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

The modern condition is mostly trying to do things on your own that people have historically achieved with a large support network, and wondering why you’re tired all the time.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

I don’t hate you, but I hope you run out of hot water before you’re finished your shower.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to flirt today.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re not dying, it’s just Monday.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

“Age is just a number!” Yeah, the older I get, the number I feel.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

I love befriending yappers. They bring the yapping out of me. Then we yap together. Yapping is so much fun.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

I don’t hide from my problems, I just ignore them until they lose interest.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Self-care is putting your face on a very soft cat.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

You gotta separate the art from the artist. Like, for example, sometimes the artist is really nice but their art sucks.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Slipping into something a little more comfortable (psychosis).

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,544

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

I have no idea how people meet at the gym. I turn into a disgusting, angry swamp witch every time I exercise.

Spotted on Discord:

Just seen a guy with a Coca-Cola and yellow Lay’s chips. Classic combo, he knows his stuff.

Live now on TikTok:

Don’t get horny around me; I’m an empath.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Be warned: I’m bored. This could get dangerous.

Spotted on Instagram:

Reoccurring dreams be like: ‘I dunno, here’s a rerun’

Just shared via Facebook:

That strange moment when you are trying to be serious, but then you accidentally smile.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I was gonna kiss you under the blood moon eclipse, but whatever, bro.

Going bananas on Twitch:

It’s never too early to be sad about having to work the next day.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

I don’t hide from my problems, I just ignore them until they lose interest.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When your problems realize they aren't getting any attention and decide to ghost you instead 😂🙌 #MasterOfAvoidance"

avoidance, comedy, hide, humor, i, ignore, ignoring, interest, just, lose, problem, problems, relaxation, stress

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If boring was a brand, you’d be the ambassador.

0

5 months ago

ambassador, boring, brand, humor, insult, sarcasm
One minute you’re young and carefree. The next minute you can feel in your knee when it starts to rain.

0

2 months ago

aging, carefree, change, feel, humor, knee, life, minute, next, rain, young, youth
Sorry, can you repeat what you said? I didn’t have my glasses on.

0

3 months ago

communication, excuse, eyesight, glasses, hearing, humor, i, misunderstanding, repeat, said, sorry
Apparently it’s inappropriate to yell out “Shots, shots, shots, shots” while your child’s getting immunizations at the pediatrician’s office.

0

2 months ago

care, child, funny situation, getting, health, health care, humor, immunizations, inappropriate, office, parenting, pediatrician, shots, situation, yell
What’s the opposite of FOMO? The feeling of knowing you made the right decision not going somewhere once you see or hear dispatches from it.

0

2 months ago

choice, decision, dispatch, event, feeling, FOMO, going, going out, hear, humor, knowing, once, opposite, regret, right, social, social event, somewhere
“Never let someone else destroy your stuff when you can destroy it yourself”, every kid I ever.

0

2 months ago

childhood, destroy, ever, every, humor, i, individuality, kid, let, self-destruction, someone, stuff, yourself

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on Snapchat this month:

Meds have done more for me than any man ever could.

10 shares on Reddit this month:

“You’re so quiet.” Thanks, I’m not comfortable around you.

45 shares on Twitch this month:

If you can’t handle me at my worst just imagine how I feel.

41 shares on Reddit this month:

An Amish party in the desert called churning man.

21 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m actually breaking generational curses by surviving my 20s without marrying a man who hates me.

81 shares on WeChat this month:

I told my computer I needed a break, now it sends me reminders to stretch while I’m lying on the couch.

18 shares on TikTok this month:

I just tried to groom my dog myself, and I now fully understand why the dog groomer charges more for a haircut than my own stylist.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I may as well go while I’m here.”

50 shares on Reddit this month:

Gay? We don’t use that word anymore. Person of rainbow.

97 shares on X this month:

Shooting a gun in the air to get everyone’s attention, then immediately getting shy and sheepishly twisting my shoe in the dirt and blinking bashfully.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

The most disturbing thing about waking up at 4 a.m. is realizing some people do this on purpose so they can exercise.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Every man’s biggest fear is trying a new barber.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

If my memory gets any worse, I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

By day I am just a regular loser, by night I am the same loser only it’s nighttime.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

My fight or flight response has frequent flyer miles.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

I’ve been on Facebook for so long, I remember when it all used to be farmland.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

A moth flies into your face out of nowhere. You could ask him why he does that, but what would you do with the information?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Nobody will know you’re stoned if you’re always stoned.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

A social media post so confusing you turn your music down to read it.

Just landed via X:

I need a job where I don’t actually have to work.

Spotted on X:

Handsome, you better get to the point, my beer buzz is starting to wear off.

Seen just now on Facebook:

McDonald’s needs a 3rd window so you can trade in all the wrong stuff they gave you.

Spreading quickly via X:

They should invent a man who is being genuine when he says things to me.

Making waves on X:

Looking forward to another year of crushing reality and unfulfilled dreams.

Making waves on Messenger:

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Happiness is an inside job.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I get jealous when I find someone playing a song I thought only I knew.

Making waves on Snapchat:

This place was really tidy yesterday. It’s a shame you missed it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t hide from my problems, I just ignore them until they lose interest.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If boring was a brand, you’d be the ambassador.

One minute you’re young and carefree. The next minute you can feel in your knee when it starts to rain.

Sorry, can you repeat what you said? I didn’t have my glasses on.

Apparently it’s inappropriate to yell out “Shots, shots, shots, shots” while your child’s getting immunizations at the pediatrician’s office.

What’s the opposite of FOMO? The feeling of knowing you made the right decision not going somewhere once you see or hear dispatches from it.

“Never let someone else destroy your stuff when you can destroy it yourself”, every kid I ever.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨