Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Tried to pull off a smokey eye, ended up looking like I went three rounds with McGregor.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

I miss when men had big hair, louder feelings, and leaned over cars to declare their love.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Salted, and I cannot stress this enough, butter.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Let’s tell the truth cell phone. I don’t have six missed calls. I have six ignored calls.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Hugging helps break the tension with strangers in elevators.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Caffeine isn’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat a gun.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

I found my first grey pubic hair today, but I didn’t freak out; unlike everyone else in the Zoom meeting.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

It’s not my fault that when I said you looked “stunning” you assumed I meant in a positive way.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,359

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

The moment when I drop my phone, but my fast reflexes slam it into a bloody wall.

Making waves on Messenger:

The neighbor girl told my kids she wouldn’t come over until they cleaned their rooms, so I guess I do have a favorite child.

Going viral on Threads:

We really do need a separate grocery store for people who’ve been on Earth before.

Just shared via Messenger:

Women pretending not to see men staring at them is an essential survival skill.

Live now on Messenger:

Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?

Just landed via Telegram:

Just said “shitted feet” instead of “fitted sheet” in front of my my son and his friends. If you need me, I’ll be in the closet.

Going bananas on Telegram:

30s: Oh look, a dance floor! 50s: Oh look, a couch!

Seen just now on TikTok:

You can use an egg timer to tell you when your egg is cooked perfectly. For brown rice you can use a calendar.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

69. Some might call it nasty. I call it a romantic dinner for 2.

Spotted on Telegram:

I wish I was born into wealth so I could have a nice 1-bedroom apartment.

I feel like I’m in season 5 of my life, and the writers are just making ridiculous shit happen to keep it interesting.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like the writers are on their third cup of coffee and a brainstorming spree! ☕️🎬🤪

5, entertainment, feel, happen, humor, i, interesting, irony, just, keep, life, making, ridiculous, season, shit, storytelling, writers

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There should be significant punishments for people at the grocery store with no spatial awareness.

0

2 months ago

awareness, etiquette, grocery, grocery store, humor, people, punishment, shopping, should, significant, social, social etiquette, spatial, spatial awareness, store
Called in, “Taking a gap year.”

0

2 months ago

call, gap, gap year, humor, procrastination, taking, time, time off, vacation, year
LinkedIn: where you desperately hope that one idiot you had a drink with six years ago can somehow help get you a job.

0

2 months ago

ago, desperation, drink, help, hope, humor, idiot, job, LinkedIn, networking, past, six, where
When I hear the word “horror”, the first thing I think of is bills, not Halloween.

0

2 months ago

adulting, anxiety, bills, finance, Halloween, hear, horror, humor, i, responsibility, thing, think, word
People will name their dog Steve and have two kids named Buddy and Rocket.

0

2 months ago

buddy, children, children names, dog, dog names, family, humor, kids, name, names, naming, people, pet, pet naming, rocket, steve
They should invent weekends that are long-lasting.

0

2 months ago

fun, invent, invention, leisure, long-lasting, relaxation, should, time, time off, weekend

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on TikTok this month:

Money can’t buy happiness, until you’re on vacation and then you realize it definitely can.

35 shares on TikTok this month:

I am awake and ready to be disappointed.

46 shares on X this month:

Mothers be doing unnecessary housework and then get mad at you when they’re tired.

33 shares on Slack this month:

Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.

89 shares on TikTok this month:

Trying to watch a superhero movie without stressing about the infrastructure damage to the city.

84 shares on Facebook this month:

My biggest fear is waking up and being in the Renaissance era or something. Imagine having the knowledge of hot dogs but lacking the tools to make them.

85 shares on Slack this month:

Nothing is impossible, except for my daughter returning home with the hat and gloves she wore to school this morning.

67 shares on YouTube this month:

“Have you asked Chat GPT?” Have you lost your mind?

24 shares on Snapchat this month:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to flirt today.

85 shares on YouTube this month:

I have a drawer in my kitchen that I can’t open anymore because of that one time I decided to put a spatula in it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

You give a man your heart and he’s gonna put it under another girl’s picture.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Whoever said, “Laughter is the best medicine,” clearly never tried Revenge.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

I’m really looking forward to another exciting year staring at my phone.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

I’m proud of myself because, despite having so many expenses, I still manage to add more.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Don’t forget to make everything about you today.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Stop rushing in the morning. You’re starting your day in panic mode.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Applying lip balm when you know someone’s watching you is a power move.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Are you my appendix? Cause you seem kind of useless to me.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Reincarnation, in this economy?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Apologize for the job that you do. It would be nice if you were talented too.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Watching a movie and subtitles not syncing is low-key pain.

Going viral on WeChat:

If these walls could talk, they would definitely say “Wow, this guy really does add cheese to everything after all!”

Spotted on YouTube:

Super excited to not contribute anything worthwhile today.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I give such good nudes that nobody ever needs to ask me for a second one.

Breaking via Facebook:

Fishing for compliments like “I’m a mess in this photo that I took all morning to get the right angle and filter and after 50 selfies this is me”.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Me, when a 25-year-old talks to me: please be patient with me, I’m from the 1900s.

Freshly posted on X:

And to my children I leave my collection of tote bags and gift bags.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

No thanks, I’m already in a committed relationship with reading.

Going bananas on Discord:

Remember, if you start with, “It’s crazy to think…” you can say whatever you want.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Eating healthy requires a second job.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I feel like I’m in season 5 of my life, and the writers are just making ridiculous shit happen to keep it interesting.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

There should be significant punishments for people at the grocery store with no spatial awareness.

Called in, “Taking a gap year.”

LinkedIn: where you desperately hope that one idiot you had a drink with six years ago can somehow help get you a job.

When I hear the word “horror”, the first thing I think of is bills, not Halloween.

People will name their dog Steve and have two kids named Buddy and Rocket.

They should invent weekends that are long-lasting.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨