Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here looking at soup recipes.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

The gap in my resume is because I was trying to reach enlightenment for 5 years.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Ginger ale is the champagne of soda.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

I only accept apologies in cash.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

For my birthday, I want everyone to tell me how much they love me and why in immense detail.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Hey! Remember in the first grade when we were all just chilling and then some kid would throw up out of nowhere?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Next time I lose my mind I swear I’m not even going to look for it any more.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Being rich is going to look so cute on me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,996

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Does my special place in hell have wi-fi?

Going viral on Telegram:

When you first meet a man, that fake version of him be so fire.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

What an embarrassing time to be alive.

Spotted on Slack:

No time like now to start “flossing regularly” before tomorrow’s dental appointment.

Just shared via Instagram:

When God closes a door, he opens a window. Unfortunately, we are in a submarine.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I am like the weather. Temporarily friendly.

Going viral on Slack:

The concept of warding off vampires with crosses is so interesting to me. I wonder if it applies to any other religion or if they’re allergic to just Catholicism.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Clothes too dirty for the closet, but too clean for laundry. Welcome to: the chair.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

I hope one day I will sleep before midnight like normal humans do. Every day I sleep tomorrow, even yesterday I slept today.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I'm starting to think my sleep schedule is trying to time travel without me! ⏰🚀😴

bedtime, before, day, even, every, hope, human, humans, humor, i, insomnia, management, midnight, normal, normal human, procrastination, sleep, time, time management, today, tomorrow, yesterday

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My toxic trait is consistently cutting off the resealable part of the bag of frozen vegetables.

0

2 months ago

bag, cooking, cooking fail, cutting, fail, food, food struggle, frozen, frozen vegetable, humor, kitchen, kitchen humor, relatable, relatable humor, resealable, resealable bag, struggle, toxic, toxic trait, trait, vegetable, vegetables
I’m still trying to dig myself out my ringtone debt from the late 90’s.

0

2 months ago

90s, culture, debt, finance, humor, late, late 90s, nostalgia, pop, pop culture, ringtone, still, technology, trying
If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

0

2 months ago

back, coming, exaggeration, humor, i, joke, missing, poster, prank, put, sarcasm, swear, weight
I want whatever the people who run at 6 a.m. have.

0

2 months ago

6, 6 a.m., a.m., am, early, early riser, energy, exercise, fitness, humor, i, lifestyle, morning, morning run, motivation, people, riser, run, runner, want, whatever
Changing my relationship status from “Single” to “I give up.”

0

2 months ago

changing, dating, give, give up, humor, humor quote, i, joke, relationship, relationship status, single, status
Life so stupid, I just want a burger and to be held.

0

2 months ago

burger, comfort, craving, held, hold, humor, i, just, life, stupid, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

My husband is the do-it-yourself type. I asked him to take out the garbage and he said, “do it yourself.”

73 shares on Threads this month:

On today’s family vacation agenda: my parents read the internet out loud.

62 shares on Telegram this month:

A bridesmaid, but to carry the end of my CVS receipt.

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

Back then, my parents were afraid of what I would do on the Internet. Today, I’m afraid of what my parents do on the Internet.

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Celery is depressing green water wafers.

51 shares on Telegram this month:

So crazy to just be living every day through the slow-motion car crash of escalating fascism, and it’s still like, “Aww, man, I have to go to the dentist.”

57 shares on Discord this month:

Sorry, I’m poor, I can’t afford to pay attention.

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t have a yoga mat, but I have a Twister mat, and it’s the same thing.

56 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m not fragile like a flower. I’m fragile like a bomb.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

Rom-com idea: Gozilla +1. Godzilla gets invited to a wedding but struggles to convince anyone to go with him.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Oops, I accidentally healed too much. I am now uninterested in anyone but mẹ.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Just did my own taxes, I should be in jail by Friday.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Enjoying the consequences of my actions.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Attention to detail is so sexy, study me, baby.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

(To my coworker that’s a year younger than me) You’re like a son to me.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

If you’re tired of “food” and want to try something a bit more sophisticated, may I recommend “cuisine”?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

I’ve learned my lesson so many times that I could be a teacher.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Dear food, either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

Juggling screen time is the ultimate multitasking Olympics.

Trending via Messenger:

Dropped my skinny boyfriend between the bed and the wall like a vape or a TV remote.

Shared recently on WeChat:

The cinema vibe is my favorite, you literally forget about the world for like 2-3 hours.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.

Breaking via YouTube:

My favorite delusion is that I just need to get through this week.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Hey girl, do you like my signals? I mixed them myself.

Trending via Facebook:

Christmas adverts: “Eat all the food! Drink all the drink! Spoil yourself! It’s Christmas!” New year adverts: “Look at what you’ve done to yourself, you fat sack of shit!”

Spotted on X:

Don’t worry, man, we can probably Photoshop the deep and enduring sadness out of your eyes later.

Going viral on YouTube:

Every year, just in time for Christmas, when it’s freezing cold, the Coca Cola truck shows up. Now, in this freaking heat, it’s nowhere to be seen.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

The good news is that I’ve been finding new ways to waste my time.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I hope one day I will sleep before midnight like normal humans do. Every day I sleep tomorrow, even yesterday I slept today.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My toxic trait is consistently cutting off the resealable part of the bag of frozen vegetables.

I’m still trying to dig myself out my ringtone debt from the late 90’s.

If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

I want whatever the people who run at 6 a.m. have.

Changing my relationship status from “Single” to “I give up.”

Life so stupid, I just want a burger and to be held.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨