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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • The thing I hate most about my stationary bike is having to pick it up and turn it around for the return trip.
  • Went to the grocery store hungry. I didn’t need to pay rent this month anyway.
  • I like to live life dangerously by occasionally sticking my foot out over the edge of the bed at night.
  • My phone and it’s charger are in a situationship and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.
  • Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.
  • Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”