I love eating fast food and getting big and fat. It’s amazing.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

I’m not calling anyone daddy unless I’m asking for money for the mall.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Let’s drink some whiskey and say too much.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

My superpower is holding onto stuff for years and throwing it away exactly one week before I need it.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

If you find my upper lip mole sexy, wait till you see the dark spot on my MRI.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

The only thing preventing me from moving to Finland is the language barrier and a job.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

The difference between us is that people can peck you and I’m impeccable.