Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

I will charge a 25% tariff on my steely gaze.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

The fact that I exist irritates me at least once a day.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

They should invent a way to delete other people’s posts.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Helvetica is my favorite font that sounds like a heavy metal band.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Nothing ruins an introvert’s day like a 4 p.m. appointment.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Being famous on social media is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s not real, so calm down.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

The sexual tension between me and disappearing without an explanation.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

If I ever went to jail for murder, it would be for murdering my printer.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Introverts be like “I know a place”, then go home.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,690

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

Don’t listen to any thoughts about yourself if your hair isn’t washed. It’s just not true.

Making waves on Discord:

We need to stop making more Christmas music. We have enough.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Too many toilets have automatically flushed underneath me for me not to have reservations about self-driving cars.

Live now on Instagram:

Me going to work because I’m too honest to scam people, too shy to be an influencer, too good for a sugar daddy, and too dumb for crypto.

Just landed via WeChat:

You’ll be watching a series, and they’ll just randomly start playing the best song you’ve ever heard in your life.

Live now on Facebook:

I love 12 a.m. to 5 a.m. The world is so quiet.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Spending all my money on lottery tickets so I’ll either be rich or poor, none of this wishy-washy stuff in the middle.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I deleted Google when I met you because the search was over.

Spotted on Slack:

It’s actually quite simple: I don’t want to eat less, I just want to weigh less.

Just landed via Twitch:

Once this pandemic ends, I’m legit quitting video games and getting a girlfriend for real.

I need an app that deletes my number from other people’s phones.

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Commentary:
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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Messenger this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here plucking chin hairs.

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

5pm on a Friday: call me a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I’m not working.

55 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I got confused by all the yard signs, and I think I may have voted for a realtor.

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Saying “essentially” is a more sophisticated way of saying “basically.

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The other day, I got the crazy idea to see if I could still do a cartwheel. I can’t.

96 shares on Slack this month:

Don’t let anyone ruin your day. Be a man. Ruin it yourself.

91 shares on Reddit this month:

Lost my Thesaurus. Gutted. Really gutted. Like absolutely gutted.

31 shares on Telegram this month:

Not to brag, but no one has ever accused me of trying too hard.

45 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t have an advent calendar, so I’m just opening cupboard doors and eating what’s in there.

44 shares on TikTok this month:

Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

People my age are raising children, and I’m just here trying to bribe myself with treats into doing my own chores.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry about all of the correct stuff I said when I was right.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing preventing me from moving to Finland is the language barrier and a job.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

“I saw your ex!” A very unnecessary piece of information.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I know life can be tough, but you still gotta wear deodorant.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m just a girl!” No, you are a monster.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a crush on someone is just having a lack of information on someone.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m doing a terrific job of not getting anything done today.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The smarter you are, the more important it is for you to figure out how to think less.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when I turn off my brights for an incoming vehicle and then realize it’s a Cybertruck.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,314

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Parents will give you a lecture about fake friends and then get scammed by their own siblings.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here trying to remember how to spell “definitely”.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Some call it flirting… I call it just being extra nice to someone who is extra attractive…

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

I’m sick of diarrhea. I want to livarrhea.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Half princess, half menace.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Donnie Darko was also ahead of its time because the guy’s haunted by a giant Labubu.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

I’m of the very strong opinion that sex ed should be taught by a woman 37 weeks into her third pregnancy, while her husband sits scrolling through his phone, and her other two children run wild.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Haunted house idea: a poorly lit Walmart littered with people you haven’t seen since high school.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

I’m not here to offend anyone; I’m here to offend everyone.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

Can’t say “I’m tired” without my mom making it a competition of who is the most tired and who has more reason to be.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

Spotted on Telegram:

I’ve never used a semicolon with 100% confidence.

Going viral on Twitch:

Don’t stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It’s nature’s way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror.

Broadcasted on X:

Babies sighing is so funny to me. My dear, the time to sigh has not come.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

The longer I stay home, the more homeless I look.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I tell it like it is: Sometimes I watch the calls on my cell phone and just wait for it to stop ringing.

Live now on X:

Being depressed is so embarrassing. It’s like, look at me, guys. I have nothing positive to say, and I make everything miserable.

Just landed via TikTok:

Whoever has designed parking garages is either an architectural genius or an evil sadist.

Breaking via YouTube:

The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.

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