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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Lack of sex really gets you mad at every little thing for no reason.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Career anxiety hitting at random hours of the day.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Monday holds the record for being the worst day of the week.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

The second date is you watching me parallel park and trying not to have a stroke.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

1994: I can’t wait to see what the world is like in 30 years. 2024: God no.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Bloopers in movie credits is a lost art form.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I have friends in high places (birds).

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Not a religious man but I do say a short prayer whenever I open a gas station restroom door.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,624

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

I apologize to my future son for the delay, but it’s just your mom ain’t replying.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I still haven’t heard one good argument why I should stop believing in Santa.

Breaking via Twitch:

Underrated life skill: only doing what feels genuinely right and letting everything else go.

Just landed via Telegram:

If you have an old house, but you haven’t got a ghost, you should complain to the estate agent.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I’m not a fan of camping, if I wanted to sleep outside I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Pizza crusts go uneaten, but people will devour an entire pan of breadsticks.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

If you start liking someone, just block them. Follow me for more relationship advice.

Just shared via TikTok:

Almost fell asleep while putting on the sweater because it got dark for a moment. That’s all you need to know about my morning state.

Going viral on TikTok:

Adulthood is just always being tired and wondering how you hurt your back.

Freshly posted on Threads:

The hottest I ever look is when I’m brushing my teeth in my underwear, but it’s very much a ‘tree falls in the woods’ situation.

I once had a psychic girlfriend, she left me before we met.

2 months ago

Funny Quotes

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Commentary:
That's one way to break up with someone even before your first coffee date! ☕🔮😂

before, breakup, girlfriend, humor, i, joke, left, love, me, met, once, prediction, psychic, relationship

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

How do I become a billionaire by 9 a.m. Monday? Please, it’s urgent.

2 months ago

9, am, ambition, billionaire, comedy, humor, i, management, Monday, motivation, please, success, time, time management, urgency, urgent
Gosh, being a princess is exhausting.

3 months ago

being, exhausting, expectations, fairy, fairy tale, humor, lifestyle, princess, royalty, tale
Worst feeling is playing a game and having nobody to talk to about it.

3 weeks ago

conversation, feeling, frustration, game, having, interaction, loneliness, nobody, playing, social, social interaction, talk, worst
I can melt an ice cube just by staring at it. It takes a while, but I can do it.

2 months ago

cube, humor, i, ice, ice cube, joke, just, melt, patience, staring, talent
Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.

3 months ago

behavior, electricity, empowerment, ever, fork, humor, i, irony, risky, risky behavior, socket, time, unexpected
Call me old, but these days I just get excited to go home and lay down.

2 months ago

age, call, comfort, days, excited, excitement, home, i, just, lay, lay down, me, old, old age, relaxation, tiredness

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Threads this month:

You know you’re getting old when you clean the house to the music you used to go out to.

46 shares on Reddit this month:

Spiders are the only web developers who love finding bugs.

19 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Climbing Mount Everest looks super boring and dumb. You just walk uphill, are cold and at the brink of death. No thanks.

47 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t understand all the fuss about ChatGPT – I have teenagers who already know everything.

74 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The worst part about going to work is the part where you have to go to work.

40 shares on WeChat this month:

Unfair that the older I get, the clearer photo quality gets.

46 shares on Instagram this month:

Tired of looking at a bad screen. Can’t wait to get home and look at a good screen.

85 shares on X this month:

Whenever you feel like the world is falling apart, take a deep breath and remember you’re right.

82 shares on Messenger this month:

If you feel depressed, go for a run. You will soon find out your physical health is far worse than your mental health.

35 shares on TikTok this month:

Commas are like garlic, you measure with your heart.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

I’m really looking forward to another exciting year staring at my phone.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Being silly is very important for my mental health.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Our parents are going to be shocked when they find out that most of us are serious about not getting married.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

And no thanking Jesus unless he actually shows up at the ceremony.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Tailgating me while I’m going 90 in a 45 is crazy. And those red and blue lights on top of your car look stupid, btw, lol.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

The problem with people starts when we expect things from them, or have anything to do with them.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Pro Tip: Never make snow angels in a dog park.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, “You’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Why sleep when you can stay up all night overthinking?

Seen just now on TikTok:

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Ground beef implies the existence of sky beef.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Children really brighten up a home. They never turn the lights off, …

Shared recently on Snapchat:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you start eating chips.

Seen just now on Twitch:

The spelling of “bourgeoisie” was intended as yet another means of oppression.

Trending via Pinterest:

Waffles are just pancakes with abs.

Going viral on YouTube:

Ugh, those red and blue flashing lights are interfering with my driving and scrolling.

Freshly posted on X:

Just got some minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.

Breaking via TikTok:

May you heal from that fanfic that never got updated.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I once had a psychic girlfriend, she left me before we met.

Keep the laugh going 😂

How do I become a billionaire by 9 a.m. Monday? Please, it’s urgent.

Gosh, being a princess is exhausting.

Worst feeling is playing a game and having nobody to talk to about it.

I can melt an ice cube just by staring at it. It takes a while, but I can do it.

Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.

Call me old, but these days I just get excited to go home and lay down.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨