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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

I think you misunderstood – when I said, “Let me look into it,” that meant, “I don’t know exactly how to tell you no just yet.”

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Y’all shivering in this cold cause them Shein jackets made outta paper towels.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Fleetwood Mac said that I could go my own way, your honor.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

I can’t finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Nothing I do for money is passion-based. It’s just pure hatred for being broke.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Life is so boring when you don’t have a package on the way.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like “just kidding.”

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

I wish rage burned calories. I would be so skinny.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

I still haven’t heard one good argument why I should stop believing in Santa.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

You got a better chance getting chased by a dog than by me.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,530

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

Me, whenever I can easily do some yoga pose, “This can’t be right.”

Freshly posted on Discord:

My problem is I buy outfits I don’t have shoes for and shoes I don’t have outfits for.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I did a little research on why weekends are only two days long and it turns out people made that up. WTF, people?

Seen just now on Slack:

You don’t have to be crazy to hang out with me. I’ll train you.

Trending via YouTube:

First rule for the new year is to not dwell on what went wrong this year.

Breaking via Discord:

My budget for this month is a smile, and I don’t know how long that will last.

Spotted on Threads:

Weird. I’m the only one naked at this gender reveal party.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.

Just landed via Telegram:

If anyone is still on Facebook, please check on my parents.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Every time I turn around, it’s Monday.

I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.

2 months ago

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That's one way to keep us practicing our discovery skills! 📺🔍🤣

channel, day, different, discovery, Discovery Channel, entertainment, every, humor, i, media, should, television, think, TV

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Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on YouTube this month:

“You handled that with such grace” are words that have never been spoken to me.

11 shares on YouTube this month:

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

85 shares on Facebook this month:

Can’t argue with a guy that has curly hair. Whatever you say, gorgeous.

26 shares on TikTok this month:

The thumbs up emoji is a nice way to tell someone not only did you receive their message, you’re also done with the conversation.

97 shares on Instagram this month:

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.

53 shares on Telegram this month:

Carrying my phone from room to room like a Victorian woman and her lantern.

81 shares on Snapchat this month:

Do you ever wish you could just walk away mid-conversation when you’re bored?

96 shares on Telegram this month:

You never forget your first kiss. Or your first meeting with HR.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

Once I get my UFO, don’t be asking me for rides.

10 shares on X this month:

“Can my boyfriend come?” Will he contribute to our conversation, at least one question?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Bird flu? Yeah, they’re known to do that.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

I’m gonna start cursing people out but with biblical phrases like I hope your crops wither and bear no fruit and the ravens eat your mustard seeds.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Mercury is no longer in retrograde, so never trust a cow because the sun can’t swim.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Instead of screaming into the void, I’m going to ask it for recipes.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

“You’re a psychopath!” At least I’m on a path, babe, sort your life out.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

How silly of me to forget that I am the love of my life.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

“Well, at least tomorrow is Friday.” -Me, having a bad Wednesday that’s about to get even worse.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

The worst part of all-you-can-eat buffets are all the witnesses.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

They should add a live chat to every Wikipedia article.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

I need to hire someone to just constantly slap food out of my hand.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Those 8 hours at work go by quickly when you call off.

Making waves on Reddit:

If consuming too much caffeine causes short-term memory loss, just imagine what consuming too much caffeine can do.

Trending via Facebook:

Sucking melted cheese off the burger wrapper as God intended.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The lion does not concern himself with the check engine light.

Just landed via Telegram:

Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat.

Trending via Messenger:

If I complain about being out of shape, I don’t actually want fitness tips and workouts to try. I just want to complain and remain out of shape. What is wrong with you people?

Seen just now on Facebook:

I’m having an orange, and the dogs keep looking at me like, “stop eating that ball, dude.”

Shared recently on Messenger:

“I bought this while depressed” should be an acceptable reason to get a full refund on a return.

Going viral on Reddit:

Shoutout to the friends that still like me. All two of you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.

Relationship goal: synchronizing our eye rolls.

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s Wednesday.

Basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up, and also really bad at going to sleep.

“Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.

Sorry I can’t come today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and it was tragic.

I have never in my life learned from another person’s mistakes, I would literally let a giant wooden horse into my house right this second.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Relationship goal: synchronizing our eye rolls.

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s Wednesday.

Basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up, and also really bad at going to sleep.

“Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.

Sorry I can’t come today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and it was tragic.

I have never in my life learned from another person’s mistakes, I would literally let a giant wooden horse into my house right this second.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨