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Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Fitness influencer: It’s important to listen to your body. Body: You’re old. And you want lasagna.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

I stopped adding “Let me know if you have any more questions!” to my emails because don’t email me again.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

A weighted blanket isn’t enough today, I need to be compressed into a zip-file.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Work beers should be a daily thing.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Some of you aren’t reading the room. Not even listening to the room on audiobook.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

I think something’s missing in my life… Like… 2-3 million dollars.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Two words have helped me open a lot of doors in my life. Push and Pull.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

I’ll stop smoking weed when life stops smoking me.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

That awkward moment when someone is doing the dishes, and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

A weekend spent doing nothing is a weekend well spent.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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3,535

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

Do you also watch porn until the end to see if they end up getting married?

Just landed via Reddit:

Parents be like “Boys are easier,” and then their daughter has to save the family from ruin.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I hate texting someone something freaky at night, and they reply in the morning like it’s still the vibe. Shut up. The sun’s out. I’m pure again.

Trending via YouTube:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they are dead.

Shared recently on Reddit:

In case you wanna quit vaping, I’d suggest using a harmonica.

Just shared via Telegram:

Before cell phones, if you were bored in public, you had to flip a nickel in the air over and over.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Being too stressed isn’t good for the baby. I’m not pregnant though, it’s just that I’m the baby.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Going through life with a signature I invented as a teenager.

Spotted on Facebook:

Did I eat too much candy today? My stomach says yes, but my heart says no.

Spotted on Slack:

Livin’ la vida vodka!

I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.

7 days ago

Funny Quotes

Clever and humorous text about switching Discovery Channel channels daily for variety.

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Commentary:
That's one way to keep us practicing our discovery skills! 📺🔍🤣

channel, day, different, discovery, Discovery Channel, entertainment, every, humor, i, media, should, television, think, TV

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35 shares on WeChat this month:

Hey! Remember in the first grade when we were all just chilling and then some kid would throw up out of nowhere?

91 shares on YouTube this month:

ASAP can also mean as slow as possible.

39 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ll make you feel safe in that you’ll know you can outrun me if we are being chased by a murderer.

28 shares on LinkedIn this month:

An Amish party in the desert called churning man.

94 shares on Messenger this month:

Never cry at the weekend. Cry at work, at least then you’ll get paid for it.

39 shares on Messenger this month:

The feminine urge to start a coven.

53 shares on Discord this month:

You can have kids or you can always know where your scissors are. You can’t have both.

33 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.

94 shares on X this month:

I’ve had so much tea trying to get rid of this cold that I’m now speaking with a British accent and am fascinated with the Royal family.

17 shares on Threads this month:

I miss being the age where the most devastating thing in the world was when my sandwiches got cut into squares instead of triangles.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Baby, no job is ever that serious for you to be a work snitch.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

The ’90s were a time of blissful ignorance where we expected rock stars to sleep with groupies.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

That beeping of the parking assistant when you get too close to other cars. I’d like that for people.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

I assume my soulmate has sold his soul to the devil.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Them: I haven’t seen you in a long time. Me: You’re welcome.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Shout out to everyone who cooks at 180°C for 20 minutes, no matter what the instructions say.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Breaking news: you’re way less interesting than you think you are.

Trending via Slack:

And for my next trick, I will appear to know what I’m doing.

Spotted on Telegram:

Love low-hanging fruit. Easiest kind to obtain, in my opinion.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face.

Making waves on Discord:

I just be minding my business, and next thing you know, a payment is due.

Spotted on Discord:

Have you ever apologized to your car after you hit a pothole?

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Being an adult means your pain never goes away, it just migrates to a new location in your body.

Just shared via YouTube:

Forget carrying me to bed; carry me to the end of the workweek. Then we can talk.

Seen just now on Slack:

“Huh” is 94% of my vocabulary.

Just landed via Reddit:

Three wise men? I highly doubt that.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.

Damn, how much daylight are they trying to save? It’s dark as hell.

Does anyone actually know how to pronounce Worcestershire sauce correctly, or do we all just stumble through it and hope for the best?

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it’s like a present from me to me.

Nothing hurts more than someone not getting your joke.

Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

You look like you suck at Mario Kart.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Damn, how much daylight are they trying to save? It’s dark as hell.

Does anyone actually know how to pronounce Worcestershire sauce correctly, or do we all just stumble through it and hope for the best?

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it’s like a present from me to me.

Nothing hurts more than someone not getting your joke.

Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

You look like you suck at Mario Kart.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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