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Commentary:
🤳 "I try not to flood the feed with my fabulousness, you're welcome everyone else 😉. Gotta give others a fighting chance to shine in the spotlight too, right? 💁‍♂️ #SelflessSelfieGame"

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64 shares on Reddit this month:

I speak my mind, cause it hurts when I bite my tongue.

92 shares on Twitch this month:

The highlight of my weekends is slipping into something more comfortable and putting my feet up.

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My parents told me Santa wasn’t real when I was 16. Jokes on them, because I’m at the mall right now, and guess who’s here.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

I have this ability where I can look at someone’s profile picture and determine whether they are evil or not.

47 shares on Discord this month:

Kanye is pretty mean for someone with ‘yay’ in their name.

81 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24. I need more time to be ready for Monday.

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s funny how cats have ears on top of their head, but don’t use them.

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s interesting growing up and learning that most adults are not smart. I had my suspicions as a kid, but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Every time you rub your eyes, they should change color a little.

11 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m glad laughter is the best medicine because my insurance sucks.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

I stopped writing “Feel free to reach out if you need anything else” at the end of my emails because please don’t do that.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

I apologize to my future son for the delay, but it’s just your mom ain’t replying.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

I like my bacon like I like my men, slightly burnt and crispy, and probably killing me slowly.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

I like people who make eye contact like they know something I don’t.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Being the forward-thinking person I am, I kept my winter fat through the summer.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Relationship status: you’d think something called a Roomba would be a better dancer.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

I wonder how many people think, “What the hell?” after talking to me.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Roses are red. Pizza sauce is too. I ordered a large. And none of it’s for you.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Can someone please help me, I’m still at the Fyre Festival.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when you pick the right partner.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

Whatever doesn’t kill you is probably still trying.

Live now on Instagram:

Why spend like $300 Dollars on a pair of shoes? Do you know how many chicken nuggets you can buy with that money?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The most embarrassing thing in the world is when you make a fool of yourself in front of a baby and it doesn’t laugh.

Going viral on Messenger:

Be the spooky thing in the woods that you wish to see in the world.

Just landed via Telegram:

Not only is it not Friday, but it’s not even Thursday.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Yes, I upload photos with filters because I want to look good. If you want to see the ugly side of me, come to my house.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

My couch better stop looking at me like that, it knows exactly what it’s doing.

Trending via Instagram:

There is certainly no life on other planets. Otherwise our government would have sent money there long ago.

Just shared via YouTube:

Them: Money doesn’t bring happiness. Me: Pass the money over here, I like to be sad.

Just shared via TikTok:

I have never seen a sad person sliding down a water slide.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I try not to post too much, to give everyone else a better chance at being seen.

Halloween is over and most people just keep on being creepy.

Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.

(While my wife opens up her Christmas present) Remember when you said we needed milk?

Welcome to your 50s… you can now fall asleep sitting up on the couch at any given moment.

I postpone certain outfits until I get a certain hairstyle because, yes, it’s that deep.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I try not to post too much, to give everyone else a better chance at being seen.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Halloween is over and most people just keep on being creepy.

Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.

(While my wife opens up her Christmas present) Remember when you said we needed milk?

My social circle is so small that when the phone rings, I know it’s scammers.

Welcome to your 50s… you can now fall asleep sitting up on the couch at any given moment.

I postpone certain outfits until I get a certain hairstyle because, yes, it’s that deep.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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