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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Sorry I can’t carpool to work. That’s the time I use to angry scream.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

You know what part I love about waking up? None of it. Let me sleep!

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

I am not in a good place, geographically.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Bought a house plant so I wouldn’t be the only one dying of dehydration around here.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Bon Jovi must be at least 3/4 of the way there by now.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew I would be fraught with melancholy and nostalgia.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Relationship so bad you start relating to Taylor Swift songs.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

I’m sorry your man wears his sunglasses on the back of his head.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,709

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

My tattoo means that I can’t be trusted with $200.

Making waves on Twitch:

My therapist said I should face my fears. So I turned my phone back on.

Making waves on TikTok:

“I’m not dramatic. I just react with the intensity of a Shakespearean widow at all times.”

Live now on Discord:

I’m liking your IG photo from 8 days ago because IG just showed me today!

Breaking via X:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have a favorite vegetable peeler.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

Just landed via X:

Welcome to your 50’s. Your doctor and pharmacist are both in your contacts now.

Going viral on Reddit:

Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar. They didn’t planet that way.

Broadcasted on X:

Love when people summon Grok and there’s no reply. He just doesn’t care sometimes.

Trending via Slack:

You are born, you lie about how you are and then you die.

I wanna be a jellyfish— no heart, no brain, no feelings, no pain— just blub blub blub.

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I wanna be a jellyfish— no heart, no brain, no feelings, no pain— just blub blub blub.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Living the dream, just floating through life on my blub blub budget! 🪼😜

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Telegram this month:

Hello bedtime my old friend, my brain is laughing once again.

41 shares on WeChat this month:

Word on the street is that the fire in your heart is out.

52 shares on WeChat this month:

January 1st: anything is possible. January 2nd: but not today.

93 shares on Twitch this month:

I love when people say, “It is what it is,” like they just discovered stoicism.

59 shares on Snapchat this month:

Ever since I learned about the concept of networking, I knew I was going to have to do everything alone and do it the hard way.

97 shares on Slack this month:

My New Year’s resolution will be to stop chasing waterfalls, and stick to the rivers and the lakes that I’m used to.

80 shares on TikTok this month:

I know there are bigger problems in the world right now, but I’ve just realized I’ve never seen a baby seagull.

54 shares on Facebook this month:

Lego bricks are classic educational toys. You step on them once and you can do ballet.

16 shares on Discord this month:

Had an interview today, and my belly rumbled. The lady goes, “Missed lunch?” I told her, “Nah, I’m hungry for success!”

52 shares on Messenger this month:

I have more photos of food on my phone than I do of my children.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Chuck Norris passed his driving test on foot.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone gives pleasure in some way, one when they enter a room, the other when they leave it.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t ruin a good sundress by wearing panties.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I have browser tabs open that are older than you.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t go keto, go pirate. Rum, fish and beef jerky diet.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Therapy is life letting you speak to the manager.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I am not living la vida loca. I am loca because of la vida.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Just blocked all the normal people, so if you see this… sup, weirdo.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,232

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

I would flirt with you, but I’d rather seduce you with my awkwardness.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

I am convinced that at least half of you are bots.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

I saw a bird get a worm today. It was about 11 am. So, don’t give up on your dreams, buddy!

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

I only sleep so my phone can get the night off.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Sex is great, but have you ever started slowly picking up speed after sitting in a traffic jam?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Alcohol and eye contact is a deadly combo.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

It’s so foggy outside. Y’all gotta stop vaping.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

They say the best things take time. That’s why I’m always late.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

It’s so hot outside that when I opened my front door I thought I was checking on my oven.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Before Google, if you didn’t know something you had to go ask someone and most of the time they couldn’t help you, and now that’s also how Google works.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

I was gonna brush up against you like a cat, but whatever, bro.

Making waves on Telegram:

I’m so old, I used to cry as a child because I fell off my skateboard or bike, not because I didn’t have wifi.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

This alien invasion could have been an email.

Breaking via Threads:

Throwing “whereupon” into a few work emails today to keep it fun.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Facebook: because time isn’t going to pass on it’s own.

Making waves on Threads:

You got a better chance getting chased by a dog than by me.

Trending via Facebook:

Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.

Going bananas on Slack:

Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

Making waves on Snapchat:

Next to nothing is a weird place.

Live now on Twitch:

“You’re a flirt!” God forbid a girl has good communication skills.

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