I wanna be a jellyfish— no heart, no brain, no feelings, no pain— just blub blub blub.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

I would go out of my mind, but I can’t find the exit.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

If you want to impress me with your car, it better be a food truck.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Every time I stand up, my dog gets excited as hell. He understands that I’m a real man who can make shit happen at any given moment.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Legend says that when you’re overwhelmed and on the edge of a nervous breakdown, a small child will appear and tell you that you made their sandwich wrong.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

The one nice thing about your friends’ divorces is no one invites you to them.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Ironic that the two ơ’s in “cooperate” insist on having their own separate sounds.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

There is no sex. I lied. You are gonna lay here and take personality quizzes with me.