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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Don’t worry. Artificial intelligence will never replace actual ignorance.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Being lazy has its advantages. I still have most of my winter fat from last year.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Watching 2+ movies a day to prevent a thought from happening.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

That awkward moment when everything is going so perfectly… and then you wake up.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

McDonald’s needs a 3rd window so you can trade in all the wrong stuff they gave you.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Why spend like $300 Dollars on a pair of shoes? Do you know how many chicken nuggets you can buy with that money?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Shaved my entire body for this post, just in case.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

If you think my heart is cold, you should feel my feet.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Great news everyone! The priest who took my confession is expected to make a full recovery.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,651

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

There must be an invisible mechanism on my book. Every time I open it, my husband starts trying to talk to me.

Going viral on Telegram:

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

The amount I’m sighing these days could fuel a small wind farm.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I finally get why people love cauliflower.

Just landed via Threads:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking.

Making waves on Reddit:

My husband doesn’t find it nearly as amusing as I do when I sing, “Someday My Prince Will Come,” while I’m cleaning.

Trending via WeChat:

When life gives you lemons, take the lemons. They were a gift. Maybe life thought you liked lemons. Did you think about that? No, you’re always thinking about yourself.

Breaking via Snapchat:

“Winter is literally the best season.” Okay, husky, go sit outside then.

Seen just now on WeChat:

My shadow quit because I’m too boring.

I woke up, got out of bed, and had coffee. I think that’s enough for one day.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
"Achievement unlocked: Survived the vertical position today! ☕️😴 #Overachiever"

bed, coffee, daily, daily life, day, enough, humor, i, laziness, life, morning, morning routine, relaxation, routine, simple, simple life, start, start of day, think, woke

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30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I need something good to watch while I’m on my phone.

11 shares on Slack this month:

My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

93 shares on Discord this month:

I can’t be the only one who screenshots confirmations, even though you’ll get an email and text.

39 shares on Snapchat this month:

It must be hard having an erectile dysfunction.

97 shares on TikTok this month:

I have no idea how people meet at the gym. I turn into a disgusting, angry swamp witch every time I exercise.

95 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t understand all the fuss about ChatGPT – I have teenagers who already know everything.

79 shares on YouTube this month:

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

28 shares on Slack this month:

I wanna become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Don’t worry password, I’m insecure too.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

20’s: what even is a hangover? 40’s: puts on sunglasses to open fridge…

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

There should be a “Take Your Friend to Work Day,” so we can actually see what our friends do all day and meet the characters from all their work stories.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

We’re so close to “Let’s circle back next year” season, I can taste it.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

It ain’t easy being America’s sweetheart during these dark times, but someone gotta do it!

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Nobody has ever been given a cheeseburger and been upset about it.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Losing a white tee to a stain is a different kind of grief.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

You know you’re getting old when you have to watch shows that are in English with subtitles.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

It’s so important to have people in your life who expand your snack horizons.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and share if you agree.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

WW3: I can’t fire my weapon unless I first watch a 15-second unskippable ad for Raid Shadow Legends.

Just landed via Threads:

If you don’t laugh at my jokes then I will.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I can admit that I am intrigued by people weirder than I am.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

That “meeting canceled” ping is a gift from the Gods.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

Seen just now on YouTube:

At my age, “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what you came in there for.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I was always told to eat all my food so that I’d grow to be big and strong. When exactly does the strong part kick in?

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Just say ‘lol’ and move on.

Making waves on Instagram:

I’ve realized that some people don’t like me, but I’ve also realized that I don’t give a shit.

Going bananas on X:

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a car.

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Activity Log ✨

I woke up, got out of bed, and had coffee. I think that’s enough for one day.

Why would I take the high road when I could take the psychopath?

Home is where you can say anything because nobody’s really listening, anyway.

Curious that talented athletes frequently credit God when they win, but we rarely see them blame God when they lose.

When you drink red wine from a cup, it looks like fruit tea and you are also admired by others for your healthy lifestyle.

Why hasn’t Lululemon created a bra-line named Lulumelons?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I woke up, got out of bed, and had coffee. I think that’s enough for one day.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Why would I take the high road when I could take the psychopath?

Home is where you can say anything because nobody’s really listening, anyway.

There is a grave concern that this post will produce zero likes.

Curious that talented athletes frequently credit God when they win, but we rarely see them blame God when they lose.

When you drink red wine from a cup, it looks like fruit tea and you are also admired by others for your healthy lifestyle.

Why hasn’t Lululemon created a bra-line named Lulumelons?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨