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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Hot singles in your area! They don’t want to talk to you. But they’re there.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Tuah Kill a Hawkingbird

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

The cost of living has gotten so high, I’m thinking about having a nap for dinner.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

I trust an insult more than I do a compliment.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Hear me out: a streaming service that doesn’t keep increasing their prices and actually has movies you want to watch.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Tariff this, tariff that. When is somebody gonna tariff my clothes and kiss me?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

I’m a work in progress that hasn’t made much progress.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Why is everyone against sugar? Who stood beside you when things went wrong and you were sad? It wasn’t lettuce, for sure.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Letting her be the passenger princess cause I care about my safety.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,834

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Twitch:

So grateful for pillows. My head works hard, it deserves its own bed.

Seen just now on Discord:

One of the great things about being a dad is how easy it is to launder my own desire for ice cream through my children.

Spotted on YouTube:

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

Shared recently on X:

When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

Trending via Threads:

It’s time for basic human empathy to make a comeback.

I woke up, got out of bed, and had coffee. I think that’s enough for one day.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Achievement unlocked: Survived the vertical position today! ☕️😴 #Overachiever"

bed, coffee, daily, daily life, day, enough, humor, i, laziness, life, morning, morning routine, relaxation, routine, simple, simple life, start, start of day, think, woke

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?

0

2 months ago

age, awareness, humor, matrix, old, others, perception, realization
Not to brag, but I was unhinged way before it was cool.

0

2 months ago

before, brag, confidence, cool, humor, i, self-deprecation, unhinged
Instead of writing letters, let’s wait a week before texting each other back so it still feels like it.

0

2 months ago

back, communication, humor, letters, patience, relationship, still, texting, timing, wait, week, writing
Don’t tell me to trust my gut. Thats where I put my snacks. Clearly that’s where I’m the weakest.

0

2 months ago

food, gut, humor, i, me, put, self-deprecation, snacks, tell, trust, weakness, where
Of course I have critical thinking skills, I’m thinking critically of you right now.

0

2 months ago

course, critical, critical thinking, critique, humor, i, right, sarcasm, self-awareness, skills, thinking, wit
Science has enough bodies, I’m donating mine to English lit just to spice things up a bit.

0

2 months ago

bit, body, contribution, creativity, donating, English, English lit, enough, humor, just, lit, literature, mine, science, spice, things, unique, unique contribution

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on TikTok this month:

Hi there, I very much look forward to letting you down.

97 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Manipulative birthday text to an ex idea: thank you for loving me briefly in the way that only you could.

95 shares on Twitch this month:

Who called them cat allergies and not meowlergies?

46 shares on TikTok this month:

Socks teach us that being made for each other does not mean being together.

52 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A mustache is just mouth bangs.

36 shares on Telegram this month:

I would rather lose you than the argument.

74 shares on Messenger this month:

Having a crush on someone as an adult feels like a humiliation ritual.

39 shares on Messenger this month:

Offering friendship as a consolation prize for a failed romantic connection attempt is absolutely cruel.

94 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but throw away your disgusting dish sponge.

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t need a recipe for disaster. I usually just eyeball it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

The IRS needs special envelopes for when you’re not in trouble.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

I’ve been ghosted enough to add paranormal investigator to my resume.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

I’ve reached the age where I would rather go to a hardware store than a club.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Have to connect the printer to my new laptop, and my goal is to cry no more than three times.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Lately, when I meet new people, I ask them what their hobbies are instead of what they do for work, and let me tell you, the conversations have been absolutely top tier!

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Sorry I zoned out during your story… my brain was offering me multiple side quests and overthinking opportunities.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

The nerve of a majority of people I meet being younger than me. How dare them?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Bedrotting is so nice. Just lying in bed, using your phone comfortably.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

You have never experienced true fear until a poster falls off the wall in the middle of the night.

Spotted on Discord:

People moaning and making noise over food makes me so livid I can’t keep it in.

Just shared via Threads:

Being social sucks all my energy.

Just landed via WeChat:

Lou Read is the name of my favorite musician and also the book I keep in the toilet.

Going viral on TikTok:

I don’t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Canadian Thanksgiving isn’t the same day as Thanksgiving in the US because Canadians already put gravy on everything every day.

Breaking via Instagram:

For this Halloween I’ve trained my eyebrows to leap off my face and destroy those who’ve angered me.

Spotted on Facebook:

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The only squat I’m even considering doing today is diddly.

Breaking via Reddit:

Beautiful women named Severe Thunderstorm Warning are blowing up my phone.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I woke up, got out of bed, and had coffee. I think that’s enough for one day.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?

Not to brag, but I was unhinged way before it was cool.

Instead of writing letters, let’s wait a week before texting each other back so it still feels like it.

Don’t tell me to trust my gut. Thats where I put my snacks. Clearly that’s where I’m the weakest.

Of course I have critical thinking skills, I’m thinking critically of you right now.

Science has enough bodies, I’m donating mine to English lit just to spice things up a bit.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨