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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Babe, is everything OK? You’ve barely accomplished anything at all in your entire life.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Smoking weed and watching music videos as the hangout is a lost art.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

They should invent friends whose schedules line up with yours.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Dating profiles should make you share a sound bite of you sneezing.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

The first Humans saw the sun go up and then back down, and so they decided to call it a day.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Congrats to my tween for graduating at the top of his class from eye roll university.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Take my advice, I’m not using it.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

“Pre” means before, and “post” means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,583

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If pigeons and chickens made a tribe, would they be called the coo clucks clan?

Just shared via Slack:

Screen time on your computer feels like healthy screen time, screen time on your phone feels like evil screen time.

Trending via Instagram:

After smartphones, we never got pictures of Bigfoot anymore. You know why? That’s right: 5G killed all the Bigfoots.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Buying a new phone isn’t even satisfying anymore. It’s literally just your old phone with a haircut.

Going viral on Messenger:

Wearing white pants today, so it’s really just a matter of time before I spill something on myself.

Shared recently on Discord:

I never judge a book by its cover. People, though, I can tell are evil by their stupid faces.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Buying something nice for myself, cuz today would’ve been my birthday if I was born today.

Just shared via Threads:

Mail is crazy because it’s like 99 pieces of straight up garbage and 1 that if you don’t reply to you’re going to jail.

If you ever find yourself mad at me, put a cape on so you can be super mad.

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about turning anger into superhero flair, playful and humorous in tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Why stop at a cape? Add some spandex and go full 'Super Frustrated'! 🦸‍♂️😆✨"

anger, cape, ever, fun, humor, joke, mad, me, playful, put, sarcasm, super, superhero, teasing, wit, yourself

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on YouTube this month:

Grocery carts should have barcode scanners on them so you can see how much you’re spending as you put things in your cart.

90 shares on Threads this month:

They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind.

90 shares on X this month:

I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.

24 shares on Twitch this month:

God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

The way people who are really into each other look moments before kissing is so hot. It’s like seeing a glimpse of cannibalism.

77 shares on Reddit this month:

Church should be less preachy and more eat-y.

86 shares on X this month:

Single bells, single bells, single all the way. Oh, what fun it is to watch those couples fight all day, yay!

18 shares on Threads this month:

The only thing I worry about when I’m in the restroom is if people are washing their hands or not.

77 shares on YouTube this month:

Your childhood wasn’t complete unless you were chased by a dog… or a goat… or even worse, a chicken.

78 shares on WeChat this month:

Don’t think my brain is braining properly today.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

The struggle to get off the couch and into bed is real.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

“Bluetooth or Insane?” is a fun game we all play when we see a lone person speaking out loud in public.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

I’m thinking stuff like “yeah” and also stuff like “yup.”

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

I cannot imagine being in high school right now. Imagine the world is eating itself alive and you’re in school.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

I’ve reached that age where I don’t have to drink to forget because it just happens naturally now.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

When I die, I hope I’m remembered for my ability to take any bad situation and make it worse.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Babe, you have to believe me. I followed that porn star because I like her political views.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

I want the job where I push scared skydivers out of planes.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Went to the toilet today without my cell phone. There are 245 tiles.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

Trending via Twitch:

I like it when it’s raining, because I can hold my umbrella really low and it makes everyone headless.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

Freshly posted on Threads:

The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Got electrocuted while fixing the doorbell, and now I can hear my girlfriend’s thoughts. She’s thinking she should have called an electrician.

Going viral on TikTok:

I hope your day is as nice as my ass.

Breaking via Discord:

The only thing we need to bring back is duels.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Yes, I know there is a really special place in hell for me. It’s called a throne.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Your honor, when I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean in contempt.

Making waves on WeChat:

Technically mixed martial arts can include tickle fighting.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you ever find yourself mad at me, put a cape on so you can be super mad.

Sleeping in is the most efficient way to find out which morning rituals you can actually do without.

Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

I would flirt with you, but I’d rather seduce you with my awkwardness.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you ever find yourself mad at me, put a cape on so you can be super mad.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Sleeping in is the most efficient way to find out which morning rituals you can actually do without.

If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

You’re in her DMs. I’m accidentally reposting reels of Tibetan foxes because I don’t know how to use the app anymore.

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

I would flirt with you, but I’d rather seduce you with my awkwardness.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨