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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

My dental hygienist is probably thinking, I bet i could braid this guys nose hair.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

What’s a good career for people with no motivation or talent?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Opinions are like air fryers. Everyone’s got one and they won’t stop banging on about them.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

I want someone to care for me as much as Netflix cares if someone has logged into my account from another device.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Just found out my 84-year-old neighbour is on his own tomorrow, so I’ve just been over to collect his spare chairs to borrow.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

I’ve found that the easiest way to do burpees is to just not do burpees. No pain, no pain.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Forget hot girl summer, it’s rot girl summer (laying in bed, reading books, laying under layers of soft blankets).

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger, but also a little grumpy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,682

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

Sorry about all the mean stuff I said when I was right.

Going bananas on Telegram:

If you love someone be brave enough to tell them. Otherwise be brave enough to watch them dating someone else.

Breaking via Instagram:

All my small talk is done with a car horn.

Going viral on Facebook:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I came up with my passwords when I was 12, and never looked back.

Trending via Pinterest:

Anything is free if you can outrun security. The more you know.

Shared recently on Discord:

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

Spotted on Threads:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely fulfilled the prophecy.

Live now on YouTube:

Sorry, I can’t hang out tomorrow. I hung out with people a week ago and I’m still recovering from that.

Just landed via Reddit:

I can’t believe I’m supposed to obey ALL the traffic laws ALL the time.

If you ever find yourself mad at me, put a cape on so you can be super mad.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Why stop at a cape? Add some spandex and go full 'Super Frustrated'! 🦸‍♂️😆✨"

anger, cape, ever, fun, humor, joke, mad, me, playful, put, sarcasm, super, superhero, teasing, wit, yourself

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

0

2 months ago

change, funny idea, hour, humor, i, idea, politics, president, time
Waffles are just pancakes with convenient boxes to hold your syrup.

0

2 months ago

breakfast, convenience, culinary, food, food humor, hold, humor, just, pancake, pancakes, syrup, waffle
I want a hot body, but I also want hot wings.

0

2 months ago

balance, body, craving, diet, fitness, food, hot, hot body, hot wings, humor, i, indulgence, want, wings
The sluttiest thing a man can do is have an ethical dilemma over his lust for you.

0

2 months ago

attraction, dating, dilemma, ethics, flirtation, humor, humor quote, lust, man, morality, over, relationships, romantic, romantic dilemma, thing
I’m equally comfortable holding a guitar as I am holding a baby, I just hold them both by the neck.

0

2 months ago

baby, comedy, guitar, humor, just, music, neck, parenting
I came up with my passwords when I was 12, and never looked back.

0

3 months ago

12, back, came, childhood, humor, i, memory, never, nostalgia, password, passwords, procrastination, security

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Pinterest this month:

In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

91 shares on YouTube this month:

When the Beatles say, “Come together, right now, over me,” what was that about? Why did they say that?

90 shares on Reddit this month:

8 planets, 204 countries, thousands of islands, 7 seas, 8 billion people, and I’m single.

15 shares on Threads this month:

Flat earth is too mainstream, hollow earth is where it’s at.

78 shares on Facebook this month:

Always tell people different stories about yourself, so when they talk about you, they’ll argue.

15 shares on X this month:

I was going to warn my kids about the repercussions of drugs and alcohol until I realized that they in fact were the repercussions of drugs and alcohol.

78 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m tired of adding ‘LOL’ to the end of my texts for sensitive people.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t have a favourite person, but I do have a favourite cheese.

69 shares on TikTok this month:

Introducing WifeChat™, the app where you talk to your wife.

61 shares on Facebook this month:

My New Year’s resolution will be to stop chasing waterfalls, and stick to the rivers and the lakes that I’m used to.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

When people block me, I just assume it’s for my rugged good looks and killer jawline.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

I wonder if Mary and Joseph hated putting away the Christmas stuff as much as I do.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

I don’t care if it’s cliché, I will always enjoy a ‘small town but something messed up is happening’ story.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

What is the morning wood equivalent for women, and why do I always have it?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

The Gulf of Mexico should’ve been renamed to Sea Señor.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

You couldn’t pay me to do this year again.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Watching a movie on the plane? No thanks. Watching my seatmate’s movie with no audio and not understanding what’s going on for over an hour? Yassss.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

I like it when it’s raining, because I can hold my umbrella really low and it makes everyone headless.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

The Angry Birds assaulted me and made me rip their disgusting bong.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Who you are when you’re stuck behind a slow driver is the real you.

Making waves on WeChat:

Shoutout to everyone who can’t keep up with the laundry or the dishes but decided it was a great idea to start gardening.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

When the Beatles say, “Come together, right now, over me,” what was that about? Why did they say that?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, “no, she’s biologically mine.”

Going viral on Telegram:

I don’t know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.

Live now on Discord:

The older I get, the more I don’t want to do things.

Trending via Telegram:

I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.

Trending via YouTube:

You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

The best thing capitalism has done is put a little window on pasta boxes so the noodles can look out at the world.

Just shared via Facebook:

Make sure you bury me near a bathroom because death is long, and I’m sure I’ll still have to get up and pee.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you ever find yourself mad at me, put a cape on so you can be super mad.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

Waffles are just pancakes with convenient boxes to hold your syrup.

I want a hot body, but I also want hot wings.

The sluttiest thing a man can do is have an ethical dilemma over his lust for you.

I’m equally comfortable holding a guitar as I am holding a baby, I just hold them both by the neck.

I came up with my passwords when I was 12, and never looked back.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨