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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

If only guys would moan in bed like they do in the gym…

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Working with children gives you so much in return. Lice, for example.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

There are two quantities of popcorn: not enough and what have I done

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

If you’re lost in the woods, start talking loudly about politics. Someone will come to argue with you.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

I love when someone texts “hey,” like I’m supposed to solve the rest.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Can we talk about what little red riding hoods actual grandma must have looked like?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

I’m not even sure what I’m doing on this planet.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

I don’t need a fancy watch to tell me I’m not fit one bit.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

I don’t drink alcohol. I like suffering raw.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,760

Funny Quotes Topics

17,769

Funny Quotes Images

15,760

Updated

Mar 1, 2026

Users Online

3,541

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar. They didn’t planet that way.

Going viral on Messenger:

After being raised on Disney movies, I’m very disappointed how few adult problems can be solved by a good song and dance.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Teens don’t know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

“It is what it is,” I say, not really knowing what it actually is.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I prefer the Easter Bunny, for starters, he’s not making a list and checking it twice, and more importantly, he’s not watching me when I’m sleeping.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Sex is cool but have you ever had a king size bed all to yourself.

Trending via Discord:

I like to notice patterns and do nothing about it.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I decided to be me and now we have a problem.

Going viral on Reddit:

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

If you ghosted me, don’t come back. Maintain that energy, babe. Stay dead.

4 weeks ago

Witty text about ghosting and staying gone, with a playful, humorous vibe.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like someone wants a permanent subscription to Casper's fan club! 👻💀📴

babe, back, breakup, comeback, dating, dead, energy, ghost, ghosted, ghosting, humor, me, relationship, sarcasm, stay

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Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Slack this month:

Sperm me would be swimming in the other direction.

86 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Making dinner with my left hand, so it feels like someone else is doing it.

22 shares on YouTube this month:

My life coach traded me.

84 shares on Slack this month:

Your coworkers are your friends; stop working and hang out.

26 shares on WeChat this month:

But if i put my laundry away, the laundry chair will be out of a job.

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

Everyone is celebrating my vegan Bolognese sauce. The secret ingredient is minced meat.

21 shares on Discord this month:

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

70 shares on Threads this month:

I miss the old days back in the 70s, when I didn’t exist.

78 shares on Slack this month:

Nothing ruins an introvert’s day like a 4 p.m. appointment.

26 shares on Pinterest this month:

My wife called to tell me she saw a fox on the way to work. I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work. She hung up on me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

When it rains in New York, the train starts smelling like hamster.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

If I were karma, I’d watch my back.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Listen, before I had my coffee I didn’t know how awesome I was going to be today either.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

BREAKING: OpenAI to partner with OpenAI to help fund OpenAI. OpenAI up 90%.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Netflix be like “we know exactly what movie you talkin’ ’bout but we ain’t got it lol”.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Limbo is the only sport where being really bad at it means you’re raising the bar.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Oftentimes, I like the idea of an activity. The actual doing of said activity, not so much.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Party rock is in the mouse tonighttt, piece of cheese I’m gonna take a big biteee.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

I have a condition that prevents me from dieting. It’s called being hungry.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If you ever see me running, it’s either away from my problems or towards an ice cream van.

Trending via Telegram:

I’m glad I have boobs. The last thing I need is people making eye contact with me.

Trending via Pinterest:

You’ve agreed to go out with me, so that’s going to immediately count against you.

Live now on X:

I could easily win an Oscar, I just have other things going on right now.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Me gasping and flipping off the vultures as they circle above the running track.

Just shared via Threads:

Love is in the air fryer.

Just landed via Twitch:

Life tip: If all of your bathrooms are full and you’re waiting for someone to finish, just turn off the WiFi in the house.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

Going bananas on Discord:

Who the hell keeps letting it be Monday again?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Thanksgiving is just me trying to look cute while holding a fork like a medieval warrior.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you ghosted me, don’t come back. Maintain that energy, babe. Stay dead.

Al guys are like, “We can’t use it to cure cancer, but we can suck all the joy and purpose out of life so that dying isn’t sad.”

Dear diary, I have to lock in tomorrow, fix everything, and do everything.

“What’s wrong with you?” Right now or in general?

Taylor Swift should write a song about people who don’t return their shopping carts to the corrals.

Horoscope: Many good things are in store for you! Unfortunately, the store is closed for repairs.

I’m really getting tired of being a responsible adult.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you ghosted me, don’t come back. Maintain that energy, babe. Stay dead.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Al guys are like, “We can’t use it to cure cancer, but we can suck all the joy and purpose out of life so that dying isn’t sad.”

Dear diary, I have to lock in tomorrow, fix everything, and do everything.

“What’s wrong with you?” Right now or in general?

Taylor Swift should write a song about people who don’t return their shopping carts to the corrals.

Horoscope: Many good things are in store for you! Unfortunately, the store is closed for repairs.

I’m really getting tired of being a responsible adult.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨