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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Enjoy the time between diapers!

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

I love jogging in this heat, cause the sweat hides my tears.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

If every day is a gift, today is socks.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Before Facebook, we would hold people hostage inside our homes by showing them photo albums of our vacation.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Germany is now advising people to stock up on cheese and sausages. This is called the Wurst Käse scenario.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Big accounts just say water is wet and get 1 trillion likes.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Really love how dancing alone in your room can literally save your life.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

The question “how is work” really pisses me off. Work is work, bro, I don’t know what else you want me to say.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Good morning, did you have a nice weekend? I ask my many open work tabs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

4,038

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

People who have apartment windows that face the street and put their Christmas trees in them, thank you for your service.

Trending via Facebook:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Raisins also have wrinkles and are still sweet.

Trending via Pinterest:

If you would like to get an idea of what an exorcism is like, try putting clothes on a toddler.

Making waves on Threads:

People moaning and making noise over food makes me so livid I can’t keep it in.

Going viral on Messenger:

Just being myself is how we got into this mess.

Just landed via Reddit:

Shazam but for random noises outside.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Marriage is just asking each other, “What do you want to do for dinner?” and then replying, “No, not that,” until death do us part.

Seen just now on YouTube:

When I was a young boy, the doctor told me I had a lazy eye. By the time I was 50, it had spread to the rest of my body.

Spotted on YouTube:

I’m not a good fit for the traditional job market because my greatest strengths are challenging authority, being self-righteous, and wanting to go home.

If you ghosted me, don’t come back. Maintain that energy, babe. Stay dead.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like someone wants a permanent subscription to Casper's fan club! 👻💀📴

babe, back, breakup, comeback, dating, dead, energy, ghost, ghosted, ghosting, humor, me, relationship, sarcasm, stay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Diabetes was the God of sugar.

0

2 months ago

diabetes, God, health, humor, irony, sugar, sweetness
Jesus died for your sins. If you don’t sin then he died for nothing!

0

2 months ago

died, humor, irony, Jesus, morality, nothing, philosophy, religion, sacrifice, sin, sins
When people give me directions and they’re like “you can’t miss it,” I’m like, “Oh, you do not know what I’m capable of.”

0

2 months ago

capable, directions, give, humor, know, me, miss, navigation, oh, people, self-deprecation
Everyone is celebrating my vegan Bolognese sauce. The secret ingredient is minced meat.

0

2 months ago

Bolognese, celebration, cooking, everyone, humor, ingredient, irony, meat, minced, minced meat, sauce, secret, secret ingredient, vegan
Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

0

2 months ago

advice, balance, brain, caution, decision, decision making, follow, heart, humor, making, take, wisdom
Computers used to scream out in pain when we connected to the internet. This was a warning and we did not heed it.

0

2 months ago

computer, humor, internet, nostalgia, pain, scream, technology, used, warning

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on X this month:

Ain’t nothing better than knowing you were right when everyone else thought you were crazy.

58 shares on Discord this month:

A storm knows it’s laced with destruction, and yet it rages on.

98 shares on Facebook this month:

I modeled my morning routine on the humble rooster. Wake up, scream, wander around.

91 shares on Twitch this month:

Yes, I do talk to myself, everyone else just wants to argue with me.

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m at the age where, if you ask me to go out after 9 p.m., I’m definitely not coming.

98 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Every time I want to use a big word that I just know the meaning of, I Google it first, just in case.

54 shares on Facebook this month:

Turns out “YouTube rabbit hole” is not a reliable science degree.

34 shares on Pinterest this month:

I told my computer I needed a break, now it sends me reminders to stretch while I’m lying on the couch.

72 shares on Discord this month:

YOLO because stupid people don’t know what Carpe Diem means.

25 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My favorite part of The Godfather is when the guy wakes up and screams because the Mafia has stolen the bottom half of the horse he keeps in his bed.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

A social media post so confusing you turn your music down to read it.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Home is where you can say anything because nobody’s really listening, anyway.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Having hoes in different area codes sounds really exhausting.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

For Halloween, I’m going as an emotional roller coaster.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

I need a Netflix show called: “Background noise while you scroll on your phone.”

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Don’t you hate it when you offer help and the other person says yes?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

My real introduction to classical music came from watching Tom & Jerry cartoons as a kid. Also how I got into sadism.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

Just landed via Pinterest:

A woman’s G-spot can be found at the end of the word shopping.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Taking my heart off my sleeve, I fold it up neatly and carefully place it back inside my chest.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Insomnia is embarrassing. How can I be so bad at something that literally involves doing nothing?

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I think, therefore I am. I am, therefore I think. Therefore I am. I think.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Welcome to your late 40s! From now on you will no longer be in “good health” but in “good health for your age”.

Spotted on Messenger:

Dating now is basically choosing which red flag you’re willing to tolerate.

Going viral on TikTok:

I don’t abuse substances. I cherish and nurture them.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Imagine you and me as cows in Switzerland, enjoying the view and saying “moo” every day.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Babies sighing is so funny to me. My dear, the time to sigh has not come.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you ghosted me, don’t come back. Maintain that energy, babe. Stay dead.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Diabetes was the God of sugar.

Jesus died for your sins. If you don’t sin then he died for nothing!

When people give me directions and they’re like “you can’t miss it,” I’m like, “Oh, you do not know what I’m capable of.”

Everyone is celebrating my vegan Bolognese sauce. The secret ingredient is minced meat.

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

Computers used to scream out in pain when we connected to the internet. This was a warning and we did not heed it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨