Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

You should never forget where you came from. That’s probably where your keys are.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I believe the IRS is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

One minute you’re young and wild, the next minute you’re into air fryers.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Went to an antique show and people started bidding on me.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Used shampoo containing caffeine. My hair is already on its way to work.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

You can either have a nice evening or you can help your child with their math homework. You can’t have both.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

If you put a pizza on top of a pizza, you have two pizzas. But if you stack two lasagnas, then you still have one lasagna.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

My dogs don’t feel earthquakes because they have constant gas.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Telling my parents they’re like family to me.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

I’ve jogged with my jogging pants about as often as I’ve rolled through the kitchen with kitchen roll.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,371

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

When I say, “I have to be someplace,” what I mean is, “I want to go home.”

Going viral on Threads:

RIP to everyone killed by the Gods for their hubris, but I’m different. And better. Maybe even better than the Gods.

Live now on Messenger:

Ponytails are only hot on women, bro.

Live now on Pinterest:

Liking a post I don’t understand just to impress the algorithm.

Trending via Pinterest:

Is losing your mind a hobby?

Spotted on WeChat:

The more I parent the more convinced I am that the ears on toddlers are purely for decoration.

Trending via WeChat:

Just got emotional imagining a worm emerging from its cocoon as a dragonfly and then got even more emotional remembering that’s not what they do.

Just landed via TikTok:

Word on the street is that the fire in your heart is out.

Just landed via YouTube:

I saw God in a dream and all he did was brag about making Pedro Pascal.

Trending via Threads:

Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.

If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
"Looks like every rose ceremony comes with its own stethoscope! 🌹😉 #MedicalDeviceSalesGoals"

dating, dating show, device, entertainment, estimate, estimation, exaggeration, humor, medical, medical device sales, number, only, people, population, reality, reality TV, sales, satire, show, shows, states, TV, us, US population, work

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Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on TikTok this month:

Terrible things can happen if you go camping. For starters, you could want to go camping again.

70 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m a big believer in not going to work on your birthday!

59 shares on YouTube this month:

I mostly choose to stay silent in weird situations but my face has subtitles.

96 shares on Twitch this month:

The Gen Z stare. The millennial pause. Instead, let’s talk about the boomer inappropriate personal question.

58 shares on Telegram this month:

Life is strange. We come into the world with nothing, then we struggle for everything, and finally, we leave with nothing.

77 shares on Facebook this month:

Life hack: You can turn your ordinary sofa into a sofa bed by simply forgetting your wife’s birthday.

70 shares on Threads this month:

What are cats even trying to do?

55 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t even want to talk about the things I had to do to that elf to get back on the nice list.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

Do you ever cycle through the same 4 apps on your phone over and over again, and feel like a tiger pacing its cage at the zoo?

73 shares on X this month:

That beeping of the parking assistant when you get too close to other cars. I’d like that for people.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

By the time he entered rehab, Popeye was more spinach than sailor man.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Some of you aren’t reading the room. Not even listening to the room on audiobook.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

I have friends in high places (birds).

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

If you’re offended by bacon, the United States of America isn’t for you.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

If I were a category, I’d be “miscellaneous.”

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

It goes like this: You are born and then you basically do almost everything wrong. Then you die.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

When it gets past my bedtime, I get so scared.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Please stop fighting with each other on the internet and start fighting with each other in real life. Life is short.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Welcome to Elephant in the Room club, no one talks about it.

Freshly posted on Threads:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying things like, “That’s a pretty building.”

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Deleting dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (in the HR department).

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Oh no, we don’t go in there. That room belongs to the spiders.

Spotted on Threads:

Can anyone recommend some basic intrusive thoughts for someone looking to get into anxiety?

Making waves on Reddit:

25 is the new 0 years old.

Spotted on Slack:

Sometimes I’m like….. what is the point of all this? And then I hang out with the people I love, and for a brief moment, I see.

Making waves on Twitch:

God, I wish I had enough money to discover it doesn’t make me happy.

Spotted on Reddit:

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

Just landed via Telegram:

I hope this email punches you square in the face.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.

Super excited about a brand new week of questioning all my life choices.

Date idea: you hold my hand while I call the dentist and you tell me I’m so brave.

With certain people, you get nauseous just hearing their name.

Driving home, listening to Gangsta’s Paradise, with my hands at 10 and 2.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.

Super excited about a brand new week of questioning all my life choices.

Date idea: you hold my hand while I call the dentist and you tell me I’m so brave.

With certain people, you get nauseous just hearing their name.

Don’t worry, nobody noticed the weird thing you did. They’re too busy with the weird thing you said.

Driving home, listening to Gangsta’s Paradise, with my hands at 10 and 2.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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