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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Just because I can’t sing doesn’t mean I won’t sing.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I’ll eventually be able to get back in it.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

A sperm bank implies the existence of sperm markets, which further implies the existence of high-frequency sperm trading.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

A hostile alien invasion sounds like a nice change of pace.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

“Get a life!” Have you seen some of the lives out there?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

The problem with rich people is that I am not one.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

I secretly want you to say no when I offer you some of my cake.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

I’m instantly 70% nicer after 3 p.m. on Fridays.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

First date idea: you bring me coffee in bed, and we snuggle all morning.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,363

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

I want an apartment so big, it changes the way I laugh.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a poorly timed joke that makes everyone feel weird.

Shared recently on Instagram:

My dentist plays country music, so it’s like a double torture.

Breaking via Discord:

Fifteen years ago, makeup was all powders and dusts. But now, it’s all goo and liquid. From this, I can infer that by 2040, it will all be made of pigmented gases.

Seen just now on Discord:

“You’re always drinking wine!” God forbid a girl enjoys the first miracle of Jesus.

Live now on Messenger:

No, I can’t tonight. I already have plans to look at my phone somewhere else.

If you want to hang out with me, all you have to do is ask, and I’ll say no.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sure, I'll hang out… right after my imaginary pet unicorn learns to fly! 🦄✨

ask, hang, hang out, humor, interaction, invitation, me, rejection, sarcasm, say, social, social interaction, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My daily exercise routine involves running late, jumping to conclusions and pushing my luck.

0

2 months ago

activity, conclusions, daily, daily activity, exercise, fitness, humor, jumping, late, luck, procrastination, pushing, routine, running
The IRS needs special envelopes for when you’re not in trouble.

0

2 months ago

comedy, envelopes, finance, humor, IRS, needs, paperwork, special, ta, trouble
Life tip: if nothing goes right, go to sleep.

0

4 months ago

advice, coping, coping mechanism, humor, life, life tip, mechanism, nothing, right, sleep, tip
I’m perfectly approachable as long as you’re carrying a plate of nachos.

0

2 months ago

approachable, carrying, food, humor, interaction, joke, nachos, perfectly, plate, snack, social, social interaction
Googling “effect vs affect” in an incognito window.

0

2 months ago

affect, confusion, effect, Googling, grammar, humor, incognito, internet, search, vs, window
Do you mind if I become the object of your desire? No worries if not.

0

2 months ago

desire, flirtation, humor, i, mind, object, relationship, worry

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Facebook this month:

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

90 shares on Snapchat this month:

My door camera alerts are all just me stepping outside to see how warm it is.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

28 shares on Instagram this month:

In the future, there will be grandmas who can’t bake but have tattoos on their backs.

82 shares on Pinterest this month:

Whenever I lose my faith in justice, I look at the high school beauties from back then today. Then I’m fine again.

67 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why do birds love going apeshit first thing in the morning?

15 shares on YouTube this month:

A sperm bank implies the existence of sperm markets, which further implies the existence of high-frequency sperm trading.

35 shares on Messenger this month:

Welcome to your 40s! You’re gonna need several doctors, no matter how many apples.

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

Yeah, sex is cool and all, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

20 shares on Discord this month:

Okay, this integrity isn’t going to compromise itself.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

In case of a disaster, women and children are being evacuated first so men can think about a solution in peace.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Clothes too dirty for the closet, but too clean for laundry. Welcome to: the chair.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

The idiot’s diet is just biting your tongue.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

In America we have marijuana. In France they have oui’d.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

I love when lashes make me look evil.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Be the reason your therapist reevaluates their entire career.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

We should all start texting each other like old time explorers. ‘Dearest friend, I have survived another week. The horrors persist.’

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

20s: LOL! 30s: OMG! 40s: WTF!

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

I don’t wanna meet your family, bring my plate to the car.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

I eat my first meal of the day in the afternoon, bro. Don’t ask me for advice.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here talking baby talk to my plants.

Spotted on Telegram:

If I was an outlaw in the Wild West, my face would be on unwanted posters.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Friends with benefits, but it’s just that they make delicious baked goods.

Just shared via WeChat:

“Thug life,” I whisper to myself as I check out my sunglasses in the mirror.

Just shared via Reddit:

Men be like: I would love the opportunity to give you the bare minimum.

Trending via TikTok:

His palm trees are Serengeti, destination wedding, luggage is heavy. There’s vomit on his tux already, Dollar store confetti.

Spotted on TikTok:

I’d change my name to laundry if it meant you’d think about doing me every day.

Freshly posted on X:

I don’t think people are actually getting any dumber. I think stupid people have just become way more confident.

Live now on YouTube:

“Are you sexually active?” Dude, I’m not even socially active.

Live now on Discord:

Perks of being a girl: You can think about whatever you want in public without worrying about boners.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you want to hang out with me, all you have to do is ask, and I’ll say no.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My daily exercise routine involves running late, jumping to conclusions and pushing my luck.

The IRS needs special envelopes for when you’re not in trouble.

Life tip: if nothing goes right, go to sleep.

I’m perfectly approachable as long as you’re carrying a plate of nachos.

Googling “effect vs affect” in an incognito window.

Do you mind if I become the object of your desire? No worries if not.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨