If you want to hang out with me, all you have to do is ask, and I’ll say no.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Please leave me alone. I’m just a 3,000-year-old time-traveling alien who is trying to return to his home planet.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

I like it when someone feeds me their food without me asking. I feel like a part of my inner child heals.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Everyone’s an expert after the fact.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

If you’re doing Dry January, please, please, keep it to yourself. Nobody cares, and you’re probably even more boring without alcohol.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.