Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

What electric cars and diarrhea have in common is the fear of not making it home.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Life is short, flirt with me!

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Asking for a cigarette, then adding it to my own pack.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t that thing I’ve been ignoring until it became a giant problem.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Turning to the person next to me and saying “thanks for nothing” as I get off the train.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Yes, liquor store clerk, I do need help. But I decided to come here instead.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

If pigeons and chickens made a tribe, would they be called the coo clucks clan?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Enjoying the consequences of my actions.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Remember, when asking for a raise, it is considered customary to be sober.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,685

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Messenger:

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

Spotted on TikTok:

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

Seen just now on Twitch:

If you wear enough cardigans, people will assume you’re smart and you can stop reading entirely.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I wouldn’t walk 500 miles, and then walk 500 more.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I’ll let you guys know if the psych ward has wifi.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Pursuing an academic career is like thinking the stripper loves you.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

You guys know your secrets are safe with me. It’s the people I share them with you can’t trust.

Going viral on Pinterest:

If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Parenting is cheering on your kid’s winning softball team all weekend and then cheering on the Sunday rain for cancelling the rest of the games.

Trending via WeChat:

If you’re riding a bike in New York City, it means you care about your health. Riding one in Tennessee means you got a DUI.

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who knew avoiding awkward encounters was the ultimate cardio workout? 😂🏃‍♂️💨 #WalmartOlympics"

activity, avoid, avoiding, avoiding someone, awkwardness, burn, calorie, calorie burn, exercise, exercise humor, funny activity, humor, i, just, know, social, social awkwardness, someone, trying, Walmart

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I want to learn scuba diving but I’m terrified of the orchestral music in underwater documentaries.

0

2 months ago

activity, diving, documentary, fear, humor, i, learn, learning, music, orchestral, orchestral music, scuba, scuba diving, underwater, want
Do cats have a sense of causation between grooming themselves and coughing up hairballs, or do they think it’s just an annoying separate thing which just happens to them sometimes?

0

2 weeks ago

annoying, behavior, cat, cats, causation, coughing, grooming, hairball, humor, just, pet, pet behavior, sense, sometimes, thing, think
I’m not talking to my husband and I don’t think he even knows it.

0

2 months ago

awareness, communication, even, humor, husband, i, relationship, silence, talking, think
Not gonna lie, toddlers absolutely nailed it with naps, buttered noodles, and rejecting authority.

0

3 months ago

absolutely, authority, behavior, buttered, buttered noodle, child, child behavior, humor, lie, nap, naps, noodle, noodles, parenting, toddler, toddlers
Men tell you “I know a place” and bring you to the brink of madness.

0

2 months ago

adventure, bring, expectations, humor, i, know, madness, men, place, relationship, tell
Your woman will take 2 hours to get ready, but if you don’t have your shoes on when she is ready, you’re the problem.

0

2 months ago

2, hours, humor, problem, ready, relationship, sh, take, time, woman

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

My fight or flight response has frequent flyer miles.

24 shares on Facebook this month:

Tried to be a responsible adult today. Won’t be doing that again.

75 shares on WeChat this month:

I bet the inventor of the cannon would be relieved to know that they’re mostly about t-shirts now.

57 shares on Twitch this month:

Once you book a trip, it becomes hard to focus on life.

97 shares on Pinterest this month:

Adulthood is wild. One day I’m transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I’m transferring it out to save myself.

74 shares on WeChat this month:

In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.

28 shares on Twitch this month:

If she says “so just what exactly is THAT supposed to mean”, you’re gonna have a bad time.

32 shares on Threads this month:

College core: you sit in the class for attendance, then go home and teach yourself.

21 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If people continue to behave so badly, I will donate my organs to an animal shelter.

31 shares on Threads this month:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I asked R2D2, and he said you’re a loser.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Meow means woof in cat.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew I would be fraught with melancholy and nostalgia.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

The only way to my heart is with a knife.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Another beautiful day without using sin, tan and cos.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Diet tip: Your pants can’t get too tight if you never wear any.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

The problem with relationships these days is you don’t know if you’re the one being cheated on, or cheated with.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Whoever salts the fries at McDonald’s needs to come do the roads.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

No more ragebaiting around me, please. Let’s try joybaiting, perhaps even lovebaiting.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

For my future, I wish for another planet and a ticket to get there.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I call my smoke detector Gordon Ramsay, because every time I cook it screams at me.

Just shared via WeChat:

Sarah Connor would be awfully disappointed in us all, letting this Grok into our lives.

Spotted on X:

Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

Just shared via TikTok:

Almonds are a scam. They are wood. You are eating wood.

Live now on Threads:

Having sex with the same person gets freakier and nastier each time.

Seen just now on Threads:

Today, I used a wire I’ve kept in my box of cables since 2011. Please applaud.

Going viral on Facebook:

I be skipping everyone’s stories but watch mine like 20 times.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Thinking of you while I’m chopping onions.

Trending via Pinterest:

Rewatching Avengers: Age of Ultron. Despite the title, they never tell you how old Ultron is.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I want to learn scuba diving but I’m terrified of the orchestral music in underwater documentaries.

Do cats have a sense of causation between grooming themselves and coughing up hairballs, or do they think it’s just an annoying separate thing which just happens to them sometimes?

I’m not talking to my husband and I don’t think he even knows it.

Not gonna lie, toddlers absolutely nailed it with naps, buttered noodles, and rejecting authority.

Men tell you “I know a place” and bring you to the brink of madness.

Your woman will take 2 hours to get ready, but if you don’t have your shoes on when she is ready, you’re the problem.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨