Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡° has viewed:

β€œYour password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡³ has viewed:

Netflix will help you finish spelling the name of the movie you’re looking for, and then tell you they don’t have it.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Ί has viewed:

Stress in private, complain on Twitter, happy in public.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡³ has copied:

Tornados are just a bunch of ghosts fighting over a cow.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡³ has shared:

Male barista called me “my love” yesterday and didn’t say it today… getting mixed signals and feeling really upset.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡· has copied:

They should invent a day where I feel normal.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ό has downloaded:

If you have to remind them to give a shit, remind yourself not to.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Έ has bookmarked:

I think my soulmate might be carbs.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ώ has downloaded:

Just found out that rock bottom has a basement.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡² has shared:

When you’re a child, you want to be a teenager. When you’re a teenager, you want to be an adult. When you’re an adult, you want to be a cat.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,371

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Shared recently on Discord:

Everyone hates math until their paycheck looks funny, then all of a sudden you know trigonometry.

Just shared via Twitch:

The most dangerous drinking game I play, is seeing how long I can go without coffee.

Just landed via Threads:

Travelling through the US by car is beautiful because you feel like a blood cell in a very sick man’s body.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’d enjoy summer a lot more if someone came by hourly and misted me like produce.

Making waves on Discord:

Tuesday is no better than Monday.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I’m not good at solving Pi, but I’m really good at eating it.

Making waves on YouTube:

Once you find a pair of pants that fit you perfectly, it’s over for all your other pants.

Trending via TikTok:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past two years.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I’m getting close to that age where people applaud the things I’m β€œstill able to do”.

Just shared via TikTok:

Just blocked all the ugly people, so if you see this… what’s up, big sexy?

Libraries were a good start, but we need more places where people can’t talk.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Silent discos for introverts are the future! πŸ“šπŸ€«πŸŽ§

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going πŸ˜‚

Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Messenger this month:

“You look tired”. No, I’m just ugly.

59 shares on Discord this month:

Your fingers have fingertips, but your toes don’t have toetips. Yet, you can tiptoe but not tipfinger.

85 shares on Threads this month:

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

18 shares on Telegram this month:

People be like β€œI love your energy” – then drain it.

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Siblings are proof you can love someone and also dislike them at the same time.

58 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremedous boredom.”

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

We are so shocked by “Butthead” that we ignore the strangeness of the name “Beavis”.

58 shares on TikTok this month:

Pesto is just an Italian word that means “produced by pounding”, so in a way we are all pesto.

26 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

54 shares on TikTok this month:

Sorry, I’m late. I found my old CD collection.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Feels like if cicadas are allowed to just sit in a tree and scream, I should also be.

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I grew up in a poor family. We didn’t have much, but we had each other. And that was the worst part.

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Someone asked me if I had any hobbies and I panicked and said “lasagna”.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Too young to retire, too poor to quit and too fat to strip – so let’s move on.

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m so thankful I live on the planet that has pizza.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I don’t want to adult today, I just want to dog. I’ll be lying down on the floor in the sun, you can pet me and bring me some snacks.

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Life can only give you lemons if you answer the door.

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I feel like I’ve skipped the whole ‘go out and have fun’ stage and went straight to being an 80-year-old woman.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said β€œless McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,609

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ή has copied:

It’s not that I want more shoes, it’s just that they keep making them in my size.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Ύ has viewed:

People who own banana costumes will wear that shit to anything.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ί has bookmarked:

I’m at the age where using the wrong pillow makes you feel like you broke your neck.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ό has shared:

To think that billions in venture capital have been deployed because it was annoying to copy and paste from ChatGPT.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Έ has bookmarked:

The person who invented butter really understood humans.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ύ has downloaded:

When someone says β€œI don’t want a relationship right now” the β€œat least not with you” is silent.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡ͺ has shared:

Happiness is an inside job.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ύ has copied:

It’s really sad that April Fools is the only day people are appropriately skeptical of stuff they read on the internet.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡­ has shared:

It’s only 9am and I’ve already ruined my son’s entire life by giving him the banana with the brown spot on it.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ό has bookmarked:

It’s almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy Christmas anxiety.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going bananas on Facebook:

Making a grown man kiss his camera on Facetime.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Julia Garner most confusing name because it calls to mind both Julia Roberts and Jennifer Garner, but she is neither.

Making waves on Threads:

I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The ways printers are like kids: Need feeding, are noisy and can’t function when offline.

Breaking via WeChat:

Why does everyone always think that I know what I’m doing? Most of the time I watch myself in amazement and am curious to see what happens.

Just shared via Instagram:

Engaging in deforestation (trimming my bush).

Spotted on YouTube:

Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.

Making waves on Telegram:

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Β© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❀️ in Sydney β˜€οΈπŸŒ΄