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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

“Love is in the air.” Wrong. Microplastics.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Doing nothing is hard. You never know when you are done.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

I hate being a wage slave. I want to be a streamer that does nothing but react to videos all day, and then complain about how hard my life is.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

The nicest thing I’ve done for a date is turn up.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

In banana years, I am bread.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

I hate when I get ready too quickly and have to sit on the couch, fully dressed, and wait like an idiot.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Doctor: Your body has run out of magnesium. Me: OMg.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

We are so shocked by “Butthead” that we ignore the strangeness of the name “Beavis”.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

How does pasta water know when you’re not looking?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

My phone and it’s charger are in a situationship and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

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17,766

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15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

Petition to add fitted sheet folding to the olympics.

Making waves on Twitch:

Phone is a cigarette for eyes.

Just landed via TikTok:

What kind of psychopath wants to be the life of the party?

Breaking via Instagram:

Guys will say, “I know a spot,” and then take you on a downward spiral.

Just shared via Reddit:

I cannot hear a word you are saying if your hoodie strings are uneven.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I don’t understand people who say “I don’t know how to thank you.” Like they never heard of money.

Going viral on Threads:

I try to find the good in every situation. Wait, no – that was a typo. Food. I try to find the food in every situation.

Shared recently on Discord:

Shout out to all the experts on the web who know everything there is to know about absolutely everything.

Making waves on WeChat:

Airports should have tattoo parlors for those of us with long layovers and poor impulse control.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?

Libraries were a good start, but we need more places where people can’t talk.

6 days ago

Funny Quotes

Clever and humorous quote about libraries and silent spaces for quiet solitude.

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Commentary:
Silent discos for introverts are the future! 📚🤫🎧

commentary, conversation, good, humor, library, need, people, place, places, quiet, quiet place, silence, social, social commentary, start, talk, where

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Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

All I know for sure is that I could be wrong.

82 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m implementing a new policy in my house: any child who is awake past bedtime can either go to sleep or clean the house, no exceptions.

36 shares on WeChat this month:

I think it’s sad that getting married is one of the only ways to guarantee somebody will be forced to make a speech about how great you are.

14 shares on Twitch this month:

I logged on to Amazon and they said that they have run out of things that I don’t need.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

Kendrick inspires me to be a bigger, deeper, more passionate hater.

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Wanna go back to my place and meow at each other?

17 shares on Discord this month:

The perfect number of cats is two stupid cats. Preferably siblings. But they can’t both be the same type of stupid. One needs to be stupid (dumb) and one needs to be stupid (annoying).

15 shares on Threads this month:

Going to IKEA if anyone needs some meatballs.

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

Tornadoes are the most relaxing things in the news.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

My parents told me Santa wasn’t real when I was 16. Jokes on them, because I’m at the mall right now, and guess who’s here.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Your Honor, that doesn’t sound like me.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Is it okay for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school, or am I just a terrible teacher?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Twitter is evidence that insane people can be extremely entertaining from a safe distance.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

I don’t always leave the house, but when I do, I shouldn’t.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

“What’s your ETA?” do you ask the birds in the sky when they will arrive.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

I am like a wildflower, a quiet rebellion blooming through ruins and dust.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

When you realize your punishments as a kid (stay home, take a nap, no junk food, go to bed early) are now your goals as an adult.

Just shared via Threads:

My kids are smart but sometimes they say dumb stuff like, “Mom, why do you always buy Snickers when you’re the only one who likes them?”

Going bananas on YouTube:

I always do my best sleeping in the 10 minutes before my alarm goes off.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I see posts like, “If food is too expensive, just grow your own.” Okay, Einstein, why didn’t I think of that?

Breaking via Pinterest:

Normalize booing in the workplace.

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Activity Log ✨

Libraries were a good start, but we need more places where people can’t talk.

Do you ever wake up in the morning and you’re just like… no.

So heartbreaking to do laundry and realize you can’t wash the clothes you’re literally wearing right now… you will never have a completely fresh start.

Printers and computers treat each other like they broke up the night before, and you’re their mutual friend.

Putting a hot frying pan into a sink running with cold water makes me feel like a blacksmith.

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Libraries were a good start, but we need more places where people can’t talk.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Do you ever wake up in the morning and you’re just like… no.

So heartbreaking to do laundry and realize you can’t wash the clothes you’re literally wearing right now… you will never have a completely fresh start.

Printers and computers treat each other like they broke up the night before, and you’re their mutual friend.

Putting a hot frying pan into a sink running with cold water makes me feel like a blacksmith.

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨