Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Please don’t interrupt me when I’m trying to overhear something.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

I don’t like people driving fast—that’s the reason why I overtake them.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Due to inflation and tariffs, my love now costs a thing.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

I’m a yapper. I’m a napper. I’m a midnight snacker.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Your secrets are safe with me. I wasn’t even listening.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

I don’t understand people who don’t have kids. Imagine having absolutely nobody to blame when you’re late.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

I don’t have a favourite person, but I do have a favourite cheese.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

The most dangerous drinking game I play, is seeing how long I can go without coffee.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

My desire to be informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,722

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

I’m so tired of not being a multimillionaire.

Making waves on X:

Three drinks in and that skateboard outside is looking rideable.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

My hobbies include going home, wishing I was at home, and being at home.

Broadcasted on Threads:

A car window made specifically for a dog to stick its head out of is called a sunwoof.

Going viral on WeChat:

I got a bumper sticker that says, “Honk if you think I’m pretty.” Sometimes I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself.

Making waves on Twitch:

Why trust atoms? Because they’ve never been caught fibbing, just fission.

Spotted on Threads:

Can someone call my keys? I forgot where I put them.

Trending via Pinterest:

Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.

Trending via X:

I have the sex drive of a potato.

Making waves on Instagram:

I always take two stairs at a time, that way if I fall, it’s only half the distance.

Might put on a bikini and run through your DMs.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Bold move! Just hope there’s a lifeguard in those DMs to save me from drowning in laughter! 😂🏊‍♀️💌"

activity, bikini, DM, DMs, flirt, fun, fun activity, humor, media, put, run, social, social media, through

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Twitter is just a virtual mental hospital.

0

2 months ago

health, hospital, humor, just, media, mental, mental health, mental hospital, online, online platform, platform, satire, social, social media, Twitter, virtual
People who are on Twitter and put intelligent in their bio, good one.

0

2 months ago

bio, good, humor, intelligent, irony, media, people, put, self-promotion, social, social media, Twitter
This meeting could have been a cake.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, cake, efficiency, humor, meeting, time, workplace
I hate that I’m so indecisive. Actually, I don’t know if hate is the right word.

0

3 months ago

actually, confusion, decision, hate, humor, i, indecisive, know, right, self-deprecation, word
Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?

0

2 months ago

academic, article, claims, cool, ever, found, humor, irony, joke, perfectly, research, scholarly, sex, topic
I don’t get how alcohol turns y’all evil. I just start giggling and get slutty.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, evil, fun, giggling, humor, i, just, laughter, party, slutty, start

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on Snapchat this month:

76% of pardoned turkeys end up back in the system.

70 shares on Pinterest this month:

“Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

19 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Nobody knows my next move. Not even me.

59 shares on X this month:

I don’t post for money or fame, I post because there’s something seriously wrong with me.

12 shares on Pinterest this month:

Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

36 shares on Reddit this month:

British people be like “I’m Bri ish” cause they drank the “T”

24 shares on YouTube this month:

Some people are like “I’m a people pleaser,” and not a single person is pleased with them.

58 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Growing your own tomatoes really is the best way to devote 3 months of your life to saving $2.17.

27 shares on YouTube this month:

I need to figure out what I’m going to wear to the couch on New Year’s Eve.

29 shares on Messenger this month:

It sucks that the reward for being responsible, is just a bunch of new responsibilities.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Just saw a bird run across the street if you were wondering if anyone else is wasting their gifts.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Crossing things off my to-do list… I didn’t do them, I just don’t want them on my list anymore.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

I’m not gonna have a bad day. The day is gonna have a bad me.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

My favorite kind of gender reveal is the one where the parents find out, and they just tell everyone through text instead of making me go to a party.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Shoutout to everyone who works hard to support their dog’s extravagant lifestyle.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Salsa counts as a serving of vegetables, right?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Dear Black Friday… We all have big TVs now, put the groceries on sale.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Relationships: Because sometimes destroying your life is a two person job.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Women know the exact weight of their children and their age in days. Men just know that little people live with them.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

People pleasers aren’t kind. They’re afraid.

Seen just now on Discord:

Just found out my 84-year-old neighbour is on his own tomorrow, so I’ve just been over to collect his spare chairs to borrow.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, I’d be like, “Okay, my turn.”

Seen just now on Twitch:

Work for a living? In this economy?

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face, but with words.

Going bananas on Threads:

Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

Breaking via Slack:

I heard God is testing both of us at the same time. Wanna hang out?

Going viral on Facebook:

“I’m too young to be forgetting why I walked into a room.”

Going bananas on Facebook:

If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

Just shared via Facebook:

At the art museum walking slower and observing more than anyone else.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Might put on a bikini and run through your DMs.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Twitter is just a virtual mental hospital.

People who are on Twitter and put intelligent in their bio, good one.

This meeting could have been a cake.

I hate that I’m so indecisive. Actually, I don’t know if hate is the right word.

Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?

I don’t get how alcohol turns y’all evil. I just start giggling and get slutty.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨