My bank account and I are no longer on speaking terms.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Everybody thinks “Free Hugs” signs are cute, unless you’re a boa constrictor.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

The gaps in my resume are from the space bar.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Whales go days, sometimes weeks at a time without giving anyone their opinion.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Love it when you say or do some common sense thing and the other person has “file not found” written all over their face.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Being friends with introverts is hard sometimes. Did they die? Are they just recharging? Are they Batman now? The suspense is killing me.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

A dating app for people who suck at flirting called Fumble.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Sorry I missed your call. I saw that you were calling and immediately threw my phone into an active volcano.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

JFK is the perfect name for this airport because it’s a bloody headache.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Hiring a mortician to do my makeup while I sleep.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.