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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

To cut a long story short, I became a film editor.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

No one shoots at your feet and tells you to dance anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Family Guy is so insane because, why were people dating that dog?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

You’re so cultured I’mma start calling you Yogurt.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Therapy? You mean birdwatching.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

IP address? You mean the bathroom?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

I don’t want to be dramatic, but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Hate Google’s Gemini. If I wanted to get misinformation from a Gemini, I’d talk to my mother.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Every time the universe sends me a sign, I’m like, okay, but I think I’ll wait for a signier sign.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,321

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

The reason most of us stay up late is because we don’t want our free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

A dating app for people who are shy called Mumble.

Just shared via Telegram:

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

Trending via Slack:

Life is short, flirt with me!

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Should be able to shazam the inner yearnings of my heart.

Spotted on Twitch:

Do you all introverts ever open a text and think, ‘I’ll reply when I have the energy,’ and then it’s three weeks, and you have to live with the guilt of being a horrible friend.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

If my fingers don’t motion like scissors snipping when I ask for a haircut at the salon, how will they know what I mean?

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

Live now on Facebook:

You can eat cheesecake for breakfast if you want to. No one can stop you. The police can’t even stop you.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Everyone’s worried about a recession, but babes, we’re heading for a dark age.

My bank account and I are no longer on speaking terms.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like my bank account and I are giving each other the silent treatment until payday 🤐💸

account, bank, bank account, conversation, debt, finance, humor, i, joke, longer, money, relationship, speaking, terms

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

0

2 months ago

back, date, funny remark, humor, irony, life, relationship, remark, sarcasm, where
I’m going to be real pissed if I get my shit together and the world ends.

0

2 months ago

end, get it together, going, humor, i, irony, pissed, real, shit, together, world
Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

0

3 months ago

animal, frog, got, humor, joke, naming, right, things
Welcome to your 40s, you’re too old to sit on the floor and put furniture together.

0

2 months ago

40s, age, assembling, floor, furniture, getting, getting older, humor, life, life stage, old, older, put, sit, sitting, sitting on floor, stage, together, too, welcome
Apple want $3,500 for their Vision Pro. No thanks. I can look like a dork for free.

0

2 months ago

apple, dork, free, humor, i, price, pro, technology, thanks, vision, Vision Pro, want
Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.

0

2 months ago

family, gallop, genetics, health, humor, insanity, mental, mental health

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m sorry I used air quotes when I said we were friends.

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a second.

12 shares on TikTok this month:

I read somewhere that playing white noise helps you sleep better, but I didn’t find country music helpful at all.

99 shares on Telegram this month:

My name is Bob but my friends don’t call me.

73 shares on Instagram this month:

Controlling your emotions while on your period is an extreme sport.

26 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s a good friend who, when you want the truth, knows what truth you want.

20 shares on Pinterest this month:

Friends with benefits, but it’s just that they make delicious baked goods.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

“I asked ChatGPT”. I confided in Amazon. I confessed to McDonald’s. I have an inside joke with Exxon Mobil.

85 shares on Reddit this month:

Gravestone inscription: “Hey guys, I’m going to be taking a little break from social media”

63 shares on Discord this month:

Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Ironically, smoking bacon will cure it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

I want to be rich enough where I’m not offended by the price of beef jerky.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Stop eating cakes with the fakes and come eat a bundt with a cundt.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

I love icebreakers. They really give me time to anxiously reflect on what the most fun fact about me is, while I don’t listen to anyone else at all.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Me, as a vampire: Tell me, mortal, have you had any alcohol in the last 24 hours?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

I’ve tasted long-term relationships, I’ve tasted casual dating. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 9 p.m. ..!

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

I like my men like I like my coffee. Not that hot but still making me anxious.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

A house doesn’t have to be haunted to scare me, I’ve seen the listing prices.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

I think my boss is delusional; he keeps shaking his head and calls me Jesus Christ.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Nobody gets angrier than a man being accused of something he actually did.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

You either die a people pleaser, or live long enough to start leaving texts on read.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

I didn’t ghost you, I saved you from me.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

It infuriates me that computer Scrabble doesn’t get mad when I win even though I’m livid when it wins.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Why is being alive so expensive? I’m not even having a good time.

Trending via Telegram:

Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I can’t explain it, but I am very bold and very shy at the same time.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

Just landed via Messenger:

Why touch grass when you can touch ass?

Spotted on Slack:

Gender and sexuality aside, I believe everyone just wants someone who wears short shorts and makes a lot of noise in bed.

Just landed via YouTube:

Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.

Shared recently on Facebook:

If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My bank account and I are no longer on speaking terms.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

I’m going to be real pissed if I get my shit together and the world ends.

Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

Welcome to your 40s, you’re too old to sit on the floor and put furniture together.

Apple want $3,500 for their Vision Pro. No thanks. I can look like a dork for free.

Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨