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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฉ has bookmarked:

I donโ€™t want to stand, Apple Watch. You stand.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has viewed:

Thought I was a minimalist, turns out Iโ€™m just broke.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฏ has bookmarked:

Youโ€™re confusing me with someone who cares what you think of me.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ง has bookmarked:

I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has viewed:

Shaved my bush and went down a pants size.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ด has bookmarked:

Your reply guys are like Pooh Bear. They wear no pants and are relentlessly trying to get in your honeypot.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡จ has viewed:

Release that sexual frustration, get a burger.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has bookmarked:

Why did they have to bleep out everything R2D2 said?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ผ has downloaded:

Really looking forward to the day my teenager starts speaking English again.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช has viewed:

Imagine thinking you have any clue whatโ€™s going on.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

2382 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,544

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,544

Updated

4 hours ago

Users Online

3,447

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Trending via Messenger:

Anytime someone comments on my weight, I try to ignore them and keep my chins up.

Making waves on WeChat:

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they โ€œcanโ€™t make it to the phone right now.โ€ You carry the phone with you. Itโ€™s the only constant in your life.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Youโ€™re a โ€œhahaโ€ girl, and Iโ€™m an โ€œlolโ€ guy. It just wouldnโ€™t work.

Trending via Threads:

Sorry, boss, I canโ€™t come in to work today, Iโ€™m gonna be playing outside.

Just landed via Snapchat:

With great power comes a huge electric bill.

Shared recently on Instagram:

You arenโ€™t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Iโ€™m probably like this because I drank water from the hose.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The prime minister is a minister that is not divisible by any other minister.

Seen just now on WeChat:

My favorite yoga pose is the one where you eat a sandwich.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Alcohol is a vicious cycle: regret, recovery, repeat.

My life goal is to make you feel as awkward or awesome as you are making me feel.

My life goal is to make you feel as awkward or awesome as you are making me feel.
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Commentary:
Awkwardness level: Jedi Master unlocked! ๐Ÿง˜โ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿค”โœจ

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

2382 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,544

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,544

Updated

4 hours ago

Users Online

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has copied:

The secret to my success is everywhere I go I wear a shirt that says STAFF on the back.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฑ has downloaded:

Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ช has bookmarked:

What must a pancake think when it’s being flipped? Doubtless something jolly.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has viewed:

Whenever my Mother-in-Lawโ€™s stories end with โ€œAnd I turned out OKโ€ Iโ€™m looking around like whoโ€™s gonna tell her.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

I donโ€™t want to be dramatic, but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has shared:

Diarrhea awareness week starts today. Runs through Sunday.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ณ has downloaded:

I don’t like how monkeys have taken ownership of the whole banana thing. I bet I like bananas almost as much as they do.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has downloaded:

Spent the day decorating the house for Christmas and my wife spent the day re-decorating the house for Christmas.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ด has shared:

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctorโ€™s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ท has viewed:

Kinda rude when I spend money, and it actually leaves my bank account. But okay.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Making waves on Twitch:

That one unemployed roommate who gets a package every day.

Going viral on WeChat:

Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I think carefully about what Iโ€™m going to say and I still manage to say the wrong thing. Itโ€™s truly a gift I have.

Making waves on Telegram:

The class: “You want us to do what?” Super Mario: “Jump around, catch and eat the giant mushroom, bang your head against the crates and, if necessary, crush all the critters. It’sa easy!”

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Soccer: I love when they hold up the sign and a brand new, beautiful boy takes the place of a dirty, sweaty, ruined one.

Just shared via Facebook:

Monday? But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet.

Going viral on Telegram:

I have some fart jokes Iโ€™ve been holding in.

Spotted on YouTube:

lol is punctuation and LOL is laugh out loud.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

Just landed via Messenger:

Just blocked all the normal people, so if you see thisโ€ฆ sup, weirdo.

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