Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Just looked around and realized it’s everyone’s first time living.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

My cat’s in a bad mood, despite eating and sleeping all day.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

I’ve never been kissed under the cameltoe or whatever it’s called.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Why do my kids have Veteran’s Day off, they haven’t done shit.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

I’ve just learned terrible news. My department at work is planning a team-building retreat. Thank you for your thoughts during this difficult time.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

If there is a God and He “loves” us, then explain snakes.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

This Monday has Monday written all over it.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

My transformation into a bitter, angry old woman is almost complete.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

My career plan? Win the lottery and disappear.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,494

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

I need new friends. The old ones know too much.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

My bank account is also in retrograde.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Still writing the old year on all my ransom notes.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I enjoy long walks in the woods, but only because there’s a chance I’ll get eaten by a bear.

Making waves on Messenger:

Men are like dogs. They’re actually cute, but having my own would be too much work for me.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Maybe if we sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Going viral on Twitch:

Addicted to eating one gigantic meal a day like a reptile.

Going bananas on Threads:

I was actually doing so well until your email found me.

Shared recently on Reddit:

This Dollar Tree energy drink has me seeing colors that aren’t available to the naked eye, yet.

Trending via Twitch:

To quote Hamlet Act III, Scene III, Line 92 “No.”

My life goal is to make you feel as awkward or awesome as you are making me feel.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Awkwardness level: Jedi Master unlocked! 🧘‍♂️🤔✨

awesome, awkward, feel, feeling, goal, humor, interaction, life, life goal, making, me, social, social interaction

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

So grateful for pillows. My head works hard, it deserves its own bed.

0

2 months ago

bed, comfort, gratitude, hard, hard work, head, humor, own, pillow, rest, sleep, work
For Halloween, I will be okay.

0

2 months ago

Halloween, holiday, humor, i, okay, reassurance
Welcome to your 40’s: See that kid dressed up like a cop? He is a cop.

0

2 months ago

40s, adulthood, changes, cop, dressed, funny observation, humor, kid, life, life changes, observation, welcome
I would rather walk directly into the ocean than tell people a fun fact about myself.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, awkwardness, fact, fun, fun fact, humor, i, introvert, myself, ocean, people, self-deprecation, social, social anxiety, tell, walk
Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.

0

2 months ago

always, delivery, guys, humor, joke, know, leave, movie, movie title, postman, ring, rings, title, twice, unrealistic
Enjoy your 30s, because in your 40s, your first check engine lights come on.

0

2 months ago

30s, 40s, age, aging, car, check, check engine light, decade, engine, enjoy, health, humor, joke, life, life joke, light, midlife

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Reddit this month:

People always ask me “Do you believe in God?” and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

79 shares on Messenger this month:

I’ll marry your mom just so I can ground you.

67 shares on Pinterest this month:

Researchers have discovered that birthdays are healthy. People who have more grow older.

22 shares on Snapchat this month:

Working out consistently yields results, but mannnnnnn…… the laundry.

65 shares on Threads this month:

Damn, I just realized that the future idealized version of myself can’t exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things.

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

Whoever thinks money doesn’t buy happiness can deposit it in my bank account.

40 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m sorry for the things I said when there were too many noises at the same time.

29 shares on X this month:

There should be significant punishments for people at the grocery store with no spatial awareness.

39 shares on Discord this month:

I pretend I don’t care about stuff, but that’s only because I have no idea what’s going on around me at any given time.

71 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but throw away your disgusting dish sponge.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Gonna end every insult with “but in a good way”.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Being late to work should never be that serious. At least I came?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

“What’s love?” Grandma sliding money into my hand like a drug dealer. Yeah, man, that’s love.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

This Thanksgiving, don’t ask me questions about my life, just pass the mashed potatoes.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

I would just once like to feel as powerful as a toddler throwing their sippy cup whilst sitting atop their high chair.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Dating apps aren’t working. I’ll see ya at Home Depot, gentlemen.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

I remember owning a mobile device as a kid, it was called my bike.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Dear life, when I said “can this day get any worse” it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Can you put some pants on my voodoo doll and pop some money in the pocket, please?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Handing over my ID at the post office. The clerk said, “You’ve aged quite a bit since this photo was taken.” I said, “Yes, I had it taken just before I joined this queue.”

Trending via Reddit:

There is no sex. I lied. You are gonna lay here and take personality quizzes with me.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Spotify Wrapped, but for all your bad decisions this year.

Just shared via Facebook:

If David Bowie taught us anything, it’s that being a little weird is better than being forgettable.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

The date abruptly ended over a disagreement on how to pronounce Gnocchi.

Making waves on Discord:

I hate when I’m typing away, expecting autocorrect to have my back, and I look down and just see awjdbdmkskan.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Having a loose stool means two completely different things depending on if you are a nurse or a bartender.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My life goal is to make you feel as awkward or awesome as you are making me feel.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

So grateful for pillows. My head works hard, it deserves its own bed.

For Halloween, I will be okay.

Welcome to your 40’s: See that kid dressed up like a cop? He is a cop.

I would rather walk directly into the ocean than tell people a fun fact about myself.

Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.

Enjoy your 30s, because in your 40s, your first check engine lights come on.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨