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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

I’m sorry I lied to you. I only did it for material gain. And to cause you psychological harm. And to prove I’m smarter than you.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

There is absolutely no excuse for laziness. But if you find one, let me know.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Millionaires and multi-billion dollar companies be like, “We’re doing our part by asking the poor to donate to the poor.”

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Sometimes there is no way to debug besides staring at the code until you become enlightened.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

I’m pretty sure emojis were invented so introverts don’t have to say anything to anyone.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

The class: “You want us to do what?” Super Mario: “Jump around, catch and eat the giant mushroom, bang your head against the crates and, if necessary, crush all the critters. It’sa easy!”

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Your car antlers tell me everything I need to know about you.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Opening this app is like lighting a cigarette.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Nothing is funnier than seeing how angry someone gets when they realize they can’t manipulate you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,685

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WeChat:

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

Shared recently on Twitch:

“Treat yourself. You deserve it,” she says while adding the shoes to her cart.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

You couldn’t pay me to do this year again.

Just landed via WeChat:

He died doing what he loved: trying to find out if gang members are ticklish.

Breaking via Telegram:

My most boomer belief is that you can often get a malfunctioning appliance to work again by slapping it.

Spotted on Reddit:

Shopping is the only exercise I need.

Trending via Discord:

If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”

Shared recently on WeChat:

Do you think I’ll read a book again at some point or will I continue to dumb myself down with 12 hours of screen time?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

My mayor is Muslim, my bagels are Jewish, my Dior is Christian.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

What a time to be alive, it’s like the collapse of Rome, but with memes.

My mom recently asked me how to take a screenshot. At first, I laughed, but then I remembered she taught me how to tie my shoes.

8 hours ago

Funny Quotes

Witty text about a mom's tech skills and life lessons, playful and humorous.

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Commentary:
Guess I owe her a "Tech for Tying" class 😂👟📱

asked, family, humor, i, laughter, me, memory, mom, screenshot, shoe, take, taught, teaching, technology, tie

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93 shares on Reddit this month:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

45 shares on Slack this month:

There are advantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it. There are disadvantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it.

46 shares on Threads this month:

I’m so bored of being bored, because being bored is really boring.

11 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s not getting better or worse, but rather a third mysterious thing.

89 shares on Pinterest this month:

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But I’m my own worst enemy, so I guess I’m also my best friend.

13 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t like the person I become when my boss tells me I should be working while at work.

44 shares on Twitch this month:

Why do I gotta dress for success? Maybe success could be the one who puts a little more into this relationship.

38 shares on Telegram this month:

I always thought that aunts had a lot of money. Until I became one myself.

83 shares on YouTube this month:

Elevators frighten me. I take steps to avoid them.

18 shares on X this month:

The rumors of my will to live have been greatly exaggerated.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Stop making eye contact with me, I can’t afford a wedding right now.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

One thing I will never understand about adulthood is how I’m supposed to make appointments if I work full time and every place closes at 6 p.m.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

I know I just ate a snack, but I could really use a snack.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

I forgot how to panic. Help!

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

I’ve finally found out what chronology is. And it’s about time.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Using a remote to type on a keyboard on the TV is truly one of the worst human experiences that we endure.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Every group chat has that one person who never replies, and it’s me.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Pinterest:

My mama didn’t raise a quitter, she raised a burnt out perfectionist who is sometimes bludgeoned into settling for mediocrity.

Going viral on Twitch:

I heard you like bad boys. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Live now on Facebook:

I love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I was hoping to age like a fine wine, but I sort of feel more like an avocado.

Live now on TikTok:

Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar. They didn’t planet that way.

Trending via Instagram:

A selfie only a mother could like.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

The fun thing about Airbnb is that you get to clean someone else’s house on your vacation.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

Just shared via Slack:

Autumn and winter are coming. The time when I make myself tea and always forget that I’ve made myself tea.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Netflix needs to stop asking if I’m still watching and start asking if I moved the laundry to the dryer yet.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My mom recently asked me how to take a screenshot. At first, I laughed, but then I remembered she taught me how to tie my shoes.

When life gives you lemons, give them back and ask what the crap is all about.

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

Forget about “long story short”… I’m gonna start saying “short story long,” and take you on a journey you didn’t ask for.

Taking a Hooters waitress on a date to a different Hooters on her night off.

Imagine having someone to come home to who doesn’t have fur.

Menstruation is bizarre. It’s like something David Lynch would have came up with.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My mom recently asked me how to take a screenshot. At first, I laughed, but then I remembered she taught me how to tie my shoes.

Keep the laugh going 😂

When life gives you lemons, give them back and ask what the crap is all about.

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

Forget about “long story short”… I’m gonna start saying “short story long,” and take you on a journey you didn’t ask for.

Taking a Hooters waitress on a date to a different Hooters on her night off.

Imagine having someone to come home to who doesn’t have fur.

Menstruation is bizarre. It’s like something David Lynch would have came up with.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨