Not sure what’s longer: a microwave minute or watching a video while someone else is holding the phone, insisting it’s hilarious.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Male birth control is free, and it’s called wearing Crocs with socks.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

There are people who have a favourite colour, and there are people whose favourite colour is purple. These are very different things. Purple fans are different creatures.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Heyyyyyy (with the worst of intentions).

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Common sense isn’t a gift. It’s a punishment, because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40’s: it’s ten years of people saying “wait until you’re 50”.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

My kids practically have medical degrees they’re at the nurse so much.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Back then, my parents were afraid of what I would do on the Internet. Today, I’m afraid of what my parents do on the Internet.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

No time like now to start “flossing regularly” before tomorrow’s dental appointment.