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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

My wife is pretty excited about going away this weekend so I’m not sure she knows I’m coming with her.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

I want to live in a world where TV sitcoms have catchy theme songs again.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

People never run off to join the circus anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

It’s completely absurd that Silicon Valley is pushing AI on us before they figured out how to keep fries fresh for longer.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Can’t threaten me with screenshots. I’ll get a microphone and say it again.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Coke tastes like tapping into your ancient ancestral petroleum reserves, while Sprite tastes like being connected to a big, beautiful energy grid.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Do animals have celebrities? Like, do birds all recognize that one bird who sings really well?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Difference between a flirt and harassment: if you are handsome, it’s a flirt, if you are ugly, it’s harassment.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

I’m so bored, I’m gonna join a poly-relationship and stage a coup and kick the main one out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,504

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

You think you’re cool and then you see a video of yourself running.

Making waves on Slack:

That gap between Christmas and New Year’s when you can’t tell what day of the week it is.

Going viral on Facebook:

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

Just landed via Instagram:

Sorry for acting weird, I am weird, and it will happen again.

Just landed via Facebook:

If I had 50¢ for every math test I’ve failed, I’d have $7.20.

Just landed via Facebook:

Never lie to Indian girls. That red dot be recording everything.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Home is where the tap water doesn’t taste funny.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

An article of clothing left on the floor long enough becomes clean again because the germs eventually get bored and leave.

Going viral on YouTube:

Trying to win an argument online is sociopathic. I would concede anything to get a stranger to leave me alone.

Seen just now on WeChat:

So excited to go to bed and have the worst sleep of my life, and wake up exhausted and aching.

Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

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Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.
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Commentary:
Classic! Looks like forgetfulness runs in the family—and in your grocery cart! 😂🛒📝

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Threads this month:

Ever since I was young, I wanted to check my email for a verification code.

86 shares on Twitch this month:

Don’t ruin a good sundress by wearing panties.

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m at that age where I can no longer refer to other people as “elderly.”

32 shares on Snapchat this month:

Giant-sized bag of candy: I’m resealable. Me: That won’t be necessary.

28 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.

53 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t want to stand, Apple Watch. You stand.

97 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“Are you dating anyone?” I close my eyes when I walk past mirrors.

37 shares on WeChat this month:

Nasa is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. They’re calling it the Apollo G.

99 shares on Pinterest this month:

I like driving by myself. I just played the same song 36 times.

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

From now on, every time I think I’m hating too much, I will think of Kendrick and realize I’m not hating to my full potential.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I simply accept my extreme loneliness as punishment for something I did in a past life, and don’t worry about it.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The most refreshing way to fight your personal demons is to make demonade.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Study so hard until Dior is like Shein to you.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Sneaking up behind people and marrying them.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Driving home, listening to Gangsta’s Paradise, with my hands at 10 and 2.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Gonna tell my dentist that if I’m late, he should start without me.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I would like to be reincarnated as less tired.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

University is more like teaching yourself for a class you paid for.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,532

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Dress for the demons you want, not the demons you have.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Caught my son chewing on electrical wires. So, I grounded him. He’s doing better currently and conducting himself properly.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I bet the guy who named the sperm whale wasn’t allowed to name things anymore after that.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

But if i put my laundry away, the laundry chair will be out of a job.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Screen time so high, I should send another risky message and then ignore my cell phone for three days.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

“Don’t judge a book by its cover” is a beautiful, powerful sentiment that I fully ignore when book shopping.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

English is so fake. How can you drink a drink, but you can’t food a food?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

I recently discovered “movies.” They’re usually like an hour and a half long, and a pretty good way to kill time. Check it out.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

How do you know I’m not just a figment of your imagination?

Live now on Threads:

Some people have goals based on a summer body. Mine revolve entirely around the weight limit of my beach chairs.

Shared recently on WeChat:

People who ask “Can I call you” are so sweet. Like, obviously you cannot, but so sweet.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

When God created the giraffe, he probably slipped with the mouse on the screen. This is how its neck was created.

Spotted on Reddit:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, there are only 4 days until Christmas.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Laugh all you want. My Encyclopedia Britannica set will never require WiFi.

Spotted on Instagram:

I bet my calculator app wrapped would be pretty shameful.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I withdraw my argument. I didn’t realize you had a meme to back you up.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have a favorite vegetable peeler.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Not to be dramatic, but when I accidentally save a file twice and it adds that (1) at the end, it is the worst moment of my life.

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