Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

I need a stunt double for when I’m navigating my way to the bathroom at night.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

So we have actual fact checkers who know all the facts? Why not create a TV channel where they just give us the facts? We could call it the News.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

I have a very active anti-social life.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Dry January is so funny. People are like, “How can I make the worst month of the year even worse?”

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Screen time on your computer feels like healthy screen time, screen time on your phone feels like evil screen time.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

It’s like no one in my family appreciates that I stayed up all night overthinking for them.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

The sound of a buzzing fly is enough to ruin my whole mood.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is doing her shopping and is sick of hearing me on every store’s speaker system.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,373

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

I feel like waking up early on the weekend is so disrespectful.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Rehab is a great place to meet people that like Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain.

Spotted on YouTube:

Made my last mortgage payment. Yay! I still owe a lot, I’m just not paying anymore.

Going viral on Threads:

The older I get, the more I understand why deer run in front of cars.

Spotted on Slack:

I have a very particular set of useless skills.

Just shared via Threads:

Going to ragebait men by asking, “Do you ever wish you were tall?”

Going bananas on Threads:

I googled my symptoms, and I just need a day with you in the mountains.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Ladies, repeat after me: “I was wrong and I am sorry!”

Going viral on X:

My only addiction is coffee, which is just like crack but is legal and tastes good.

Psychiatry is crazy because they’re just like… Oh, you’re really depressed? Would being on a pill that makes you fat help?

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh great, now I can be sad AND struggle to fit in my jeans 😂💊👖

being, crazy, depressed, depression, effect, fat, gain, health, help, humor, just, medication, mental, mental health, oh, pill, psychiatry, side, side effect, weight, weight gain

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.

0

2 months ago

baking, baking sheet, cooking, cooking show, fit, food, fridge, humor, kitchen, room, sheet, show, shows, space, unrealistic
Any cults got something wild planned anytime soon? I’m trying to find the good estate sales.

0

2 months ago

anytime, cult, estate, estate sale, good, good time, humor, plan, planned, sale, sales, something, soon, time, trying, wild, wild plan
The “Wooooooooo” track from sitcoms should play whenever you kiss someone in real life.

0

3 months ago

celebration, effect, humor, kiss, life, play, real, real life, romance, should, sitcom, someone, sound, sound effect, track, whenever
Never faked an orgasm before, but the joy of ugly presents.

0

2 months ago

before, expectation, gift, humor, joy, never, orgasm, present, relationship, surprise, ugly, ugly present
Silence is golden. But duct tape is silver.

0

2 months ago

communication, duct, duct tape, fix, golden, humor, irony, problem-solving, silence, silver, tape
Two things I learned yesterday: I’m not too old to sit in a beanbag chair, but I’m too old to get out of one.

0

4 months ago

age, aging, beanbag, beanbag chair, chair, comfort, getting, getting up, humor, i, learned, old, sit, sitting, things, too, yesterday

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on TikTok this month:

Kids these days are soft. I’m pretty sure I died once when I was 7, and my mom made me walk it off.

55 shares on Discord this month:

It was me, I let the dogs out.

78 shares on Messenger this month:

Death doesn’t scare me, but a group of dogs fighting while I’m walking alone on the street does.

37 shares on Facebook this month:

I’ve got a headache, and it’s affecting my entire future.

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

You’re the human embodiment of an “ugh.”

34 shares on Messenger this month:

“I’m at a point in my life where I don’t go anywhere unless I absolutely have to.”

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My Indian name would be “Stares at Phone All Day.”

75 shares on Messenger this month:

Being in college when The Chainsmokers dropped Closer was an experience to say the least.

41 shares on X this month:

Toothache and heartache comes from the same thing, which is something sweet.

37 shares on X this month:

Yes, I’ve gained weight. Too many people wanted to have sex with me. It was annoying.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your clothes are still in the washing machine.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Adulting: unlocking life’s mysteries, one therapy session at a time.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

I love how spring sprung and then disappeared again.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Warning: This movie contains “Adult Themes” such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

At this point, if I get picked up by aliens, I’m just gonna go ahead and consider it a rescue mission instead of an abduction.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Good morning, townsfolk. I’m here to slay the monsters.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

69 but we both just farting.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Get off the apps. Sleep with someone in your friend group. Add an awkward tension every time you hang out with them.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

You are what you eat! (If anyone needed more encouragement to eat the rich.)

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

Weirdos gonna weird.

Making waves on Reddit:

Imagine hating me, and I’m not even paying attention.

Going viral on X:

Love when a doctor emails me about my “outstanding bill”. If it’s so good, why don’t you pay it?

Trending via TikTok:

I am thick and tired.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

A tip for your next salary negotiation: simply tell your boss “either I get a pay rise or I go out and tell everyone I got one!”

Seen just now on X:

My husband said I use a lot of makeup, so I showed him some makeup tutorials on TikTok and I don’t think he’ll be making that mistake again.

Making waves on Discord:

I have more trips planned than I have money.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

If A-B-C-D didn’t take their sweet time in the alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn’t have to sprint every time.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Boys say that girls are dramatic, but have you ever plucked a man’s eyebrow? They act like they’ve been shot.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I said it was my favorite show, I didn’t say it was good.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Psychiatry is crazy because they’re just like… Oh, you’re really depressed? Would being on a pill that makes you fat help?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.

Any cults got something wild planned anytime soon? I’m trying to find the good estate sales.

The “Wooooooooo” track from sitcoms should play whenever you kiss someone in real life.

Never faked an orgasm before, but the joy of ugly presents.

Silence is golden. But duct tape is silver.

Two things I learned yesterday: I’m not too old to sit in a beanbag chair, but I’m too old to get out of one.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨