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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Do people who spend a fortune on outdoor heating know they can just go inside?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

I need a Netflix show called: “Background noise while you scroll on your phone.”

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

A police lineup, but you have to recognize your dad’s sneeze.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Italians, look away now. I break my spaghetti in half before I cook it.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

After a lot of experience, I can conclude that one can never actually cross “washing dishes” off the to-do list.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Attempted to exercise this morning. Didn’t work out.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

An escape room, but it’s just your thoughts. Good luck.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,901

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Age ceases to be just a number everytime the airline announces seating queue priority.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Probably always gonna be the weirdo that believes in magic.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

Just landed via Slack:

I love being single because how could I explain a 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. nap on a Saturday.

Spotted on Twitch:

Eleven out of ten people are stupid.

Just shared via X:

I’m not “late”, I’m just very creative with my interpretation of “time”.

She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
"Quick, someone call Ripley's Believe It or Not! 😆📵📱"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t know what millennial needs to hear this, but throw away the box your phone came in. You don’t need it. You will never need it.

4 months ago
advice, away, box, came, hear, humor, i, know, millennial, need, needs, never, phone, throw, throw away
Rest here, weary doom-scroller, you’ve seen enough bullshit for one day.

1 month ago
bullshit, daily, daily struggle, day, doom-scroller, enough, frustration, here, humor, internet, relaxation, rest, sarcasm, seen, struggle, tired
Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

2 months ago
fast, fast food, food, guy, humor, line, McDonald’s, me, order, pretty, rest, restaurant, sure, wait
Last year I had no valentine, this year I also have no valentine. Consistency!

1 month ago
consistency, humor, i, last, love, relationship, single, Valentine, year
My goal in life is to not have to commit seppuku.

1 month ago
aspiration, commit, existential, goal, humor, life, seppuku
Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick the one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

1 month ago
blame, blaming, everyone, everything, hate, humor, person, pick, problems, responsibility, sarcasm, stop

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Men have nice skin because they stress out everyone but themselves.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

My favorite part of parenting is being exhausted all the time and losing the will to live.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Cheating before AI required a level of effort that you ended up learning something by default.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Potatoes make French fries, chips and vodka. It’s like the other vegetables aren’t even trying.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Called in, “Hey, macarena!” this morning.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

What if instead of Big Mac it was Big Matt and he came out and said hello to you?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

My IQ used to be higher than my weight, but now I’m fat and dumb.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

If I was lying down and someone came up and gave me tons of kisses and smooshed my face, I’d love it. I don’t know what my cat’s problem is.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

Just landed via Reddit:

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

Making waves on Discord:

The lioness does not concern herself with the pile of clothes she moves between bed and chair every day.

Going viral on Instagram:

On a dare, my son sprayed deodorant in his mouth. Now he speaks with an Axe scent.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

A moth is just a butterfly with glasses and its hair up.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Wait, making the right choices is an option?!

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Activity Log ✨

She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

I don’t know what millennial needs to hear this, but throw away the box your phone came in. You don’t need it. You will never need it.

Rest here, weary doom-scroller, you’ve seen enough bullshit for one day.

Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

Last year I had no valentine, this year I also have no valentine. Consistency!

My goal in life is to not have to commit seppuku.

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick the one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

The sexual tension between me and the alternate reality I daydream about.

My ducks: in a row. My elephant: addressed. My eggs: several baskets. My bigger fish: fried.

The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic.

Sorry for how I acted when there were multiple noises happening at the same time.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Miso soup is such a silly name, like “Yes, you so soup.”

Gonna close my bank account and keep all my money on me, like Sonic the Hedgehog.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your clothes are still in the washing machine.

I’m a work in progress that hasn’t made much progress.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Today I couldn’t find a parking space at work, so I drove back home. Looks like they have enough people there.

Nobody has ever been given a cheeseburger and been upset about it.

Nothing has improved the quality of my life more than living beyond my means.

I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.

If anything goes wrong today, just dramatically whisper, “The prophecy has been fulfilled,” and walk away.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

They should go crazier with lab-grown meat. Invent some new animals or something. Mammoth burger.

My goal is to do one thing each day that could prevent me from being elected to political office.

Do people with lip filler know that they look like that?

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She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I don’t know what millennial needs to hear this, but throw away the box your phone came in. You don’t need it. You will never need it.

Rest here, weary doom-scroller, you’ve seen enough bullshit for one day.

Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

Last year I had no valentine, this year I also have no valentine. Consistency!

My goal in life is to not have to commit seppuku.

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick the one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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