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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

I have information that will lead to where your hug is at.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Attempted to exercise this morning. Didn’t work out.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Just so you know, what you now call an energy bar is what my father gave the canary.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Goodbye, August, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

If I were to “picture everybody in the room naked,” I would be stunned and in awe of the beauty and diversity of the human form before me. But thanks for the advice.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

There are TV shows that only exist on the screens of girls’ houses you go to one time and never again.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

What was the main bloke called in Harry Potter?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Wearing white pants today, so it’s really just a matter of time before I spill something on myself.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Pretending you don’t notice people staring at you is a skill.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

296 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,565

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,565

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,390

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Your future doctor is using ChatGPT to pass med school so you better start eating healthy.

Spotted on Twitch:

The true horror genre: my old Facebook statuses.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure this Santa-shaped chocolate oughta settle my stomach.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

When you wish you could tell someone that won’t stop talking “Okay, we’re out of time today”, just like a therapist.

Just landed via Reddit:

My only regret is not leaving people alone the first time they moved funny.

Trending via Telegram:

Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Every day, I’m gaslit into oblivion by beautiful women, and then I go to sleep.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Having long hair as a guy is so scary because some days I look like the charming lead of a classic film from the 80s, and other days I look like a Discord mod that runs his Magic: The Gathering group like the Navy.

Shared recently on TikTok:

There are 8 billion people in the world and I only have 3 friends, and one is annoying.

Live now on Instagram:

I love ketchup from my head to-ma-toes.

So I just checked my bank account, and it looks like for Christmas I am getting everyone the thought that counts.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like my bank account's in stealth mode for the holidays! 🎅💸😂

account, am, bank, bank account, budget, Christmas, everyone, finance, getting, gift, holiday, humor, i, just, looks, money, spending, thought

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

2 months ago

actually, away, back, communication, forget, forgot, head, humor, i, misunderstanding, never, procrastination, reply, right, saw, social, technology, text, texting, type
YOLO because stupid people don’t know what Carpe Diem means.

1 month ago

carpe, Carpe Diem, diem, humor, irony, know, Latin, Latin phrase, life, life motto, means, motto, people, phrase, sarcasm, slang, stupid, stupidity, yolo
Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

2 months ago

14th, couple, day, expensive, getting, home, hotel, hotel room, humor, people, position, positions, relationship, room, rooms, same, sex, sex position, shout, travel, valentine’s, Valentine’s Day
After ejaculation, men automatically realize that everything is vanity upon vanity.

5 months ago

after, ejaculation, everything, existential, existential realization, humor, male, male perspective, men, perspective, realization, realize, upon, vanity
The dopamine hit of getting an Outlook meeting cancellation is unrivaled.

2 months ago

cancellation, dopamine, fun, getting, hit, humor, irony, meeting, office, outlook, relief, work
I’m running out of people I like.

2 months ago

dislike, humor, humor quote, i, people, relationships, running, sarcasm, social

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on WeChat this month:

I think the Monday after Sunday should always be a day off.

90 shares on YouTube this month:

Bro, you’re fine. You just need an impossible sequence of events to play out in perfect order against all odds and you’ll be fine.

30 shares on Twitch this month:

Money will not leave you on read for 9 hours.

43 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Life would be so much easier if you could push a button that makes dickheads fall through a trap door in the floor.

40 shares on Facebook this month:

People in their late 20s and early 30s are like “this is my emotional support trip to Japan.”

84 shares on Reddit this month:

“How is the job search going?” First of all, that is a violent question. And it hurts me, by the way. And second, how the hell should I know.

41 shares on Telegram this month:

Spotify should have helpful mental health suggestions like “your top listens are Taylor Swift and true crime, go to therapy.”

34 shares on Slack this month:

You should be able to like an email instead of replying to it.

38 shares on Reddit this month:

Last time I laid on his chest, I heard girls in there laughing at me.

70 shares on Threads this month:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next you’re saying, “I wonder how old this tree is.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Play the long game? You mean Monopoly?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Jobs be asking me for 3 references, and I think I might start doing the same. Like, let me talk to 3 happy employees, please.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

You befriend a guy and a few days later he’s like “I wanna talk to you about something”. Please, God, let it be about the economy.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner who’s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Imagine earning a science degree then having to be a meteorologist who announces the prophecy of a groundhog.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

I consider the second page of Google results the dark web.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

French is bullshit. They keep changing the translation of ‘soup du jour’ each day.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

These people act like they’ve never seen anyone wearing a Speedo in a laundromat before.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

The concept of a drive-by doesn’t really exist in the swamp biome; instead, people rap about doing bog-emerges.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Crazy part about being an overthinker is most times you right.

Seen just now on Telegram:

The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

Just landed via Slack:

Elect a clown, expect a circus.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Politics top tip: Gain people’s trust by telling them that everyone is lying to them.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Doesn’t matter if the chicken or the egg came first. Still a weird thing to just appear.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The government even made aliens boring.

Going viral on Reddit:

My problem is, I wanna be the only one at the gym when I go.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I’m officially at the age where I’m not upgrading my phone until it stops working.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

So I just checked my bank account, and it looks like for Christmas I am getting everyone the thought that counts.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

YOLO because stupid people don’t know what Carpe Diem means.

Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

After ejaculation, men automatically realize that everything is vanity upon vanity.

The dopamine hit of getting an Outlook meeting cancellation is unrivaled.

I’m running out of people I like.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨