Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

It’s like my wish isn’t even your command anymore…

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

My mental health walks make my mental health worse because I live in a shithole.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Not being able to teleport is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

I think God was high when he made me.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Y’all need to stop marrying people who look just like you do but with a wig on.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Instead of renting an apartment, I’m going to save up for a lighthouse and go insane in it.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor got slapped.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Forget sexy talk. I want breakfast talk. Describe those waffles to me nice and slow.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,330

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

My toxic trait is optimism.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

The problem is that younger me didn’t account for the fact that there’d be an older me.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

They say dress for the job you want, but this baby diaper isn’t very comfortable.

Going viral on Pinterest:

My favourite yoga pose is the one where you lay really still and do nothing.

Breaking via Snapchat:

You wear a white shirt and all of a sudden everybody wants to go eat spaghetti.

Freshly posted on X:

Person: gives compliment. Me: let me give you a brief synopsis of why you are sorely mistaken.

Trending via Telegram:

I’m just a Whole Foods girl on a Walmart budget.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Panda bears are proof that it’s okay to be kind of an idiot as long as you’re super adorable.

Breaking via Reddit:

I’m going crazy, y’all. Coming with me?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Super excited for a brand new week of hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.

Some say the world will end in fire. Others say in ice. Coming up next, our expert panel breaks down the arguments for each side…

2 months ago

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Commentary:
"Breaking news: Team Fire argues global warming. Team Ice counters with ice cream shortage fears. Tune in for the meltdown! 🔥🍦😂"

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Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on X this month:

Turns out “YouTube rabbit hole” is not a reliable science degree.

10 shares on Snapchat this month:

Brains are awesome. I wish I had one.

32 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“How am I supposed to avoid Al when I’ve procrastinated on a paper?” With a night full of caffeine and nicotine like your forefathers, you babies.

23 shares on WeChat this month:

Why touch grass when you can touch ass?

84 shares on Twitch this month:

Dude, we’re biting off more than we can chew tonight if you want to pull up.

35 shares on Reddit this month:

A little sign under the doorbell that says, “think twice, adventurer.”

60 shares on Messenger this month:

Discovered a new coping mechanism called lashing out and making your loved ones resent you.

71 shares on Pinterest this month:

All I want for Christmas this year is the housing market to crash, so I could buy a 5-bedroom, 4-bathroom house for $3.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

I always say “it’s so expensive” and then buy it nonetheless.

91 shares on Threads this month:

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

No camera can do justice to a landscape that melts your heart.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Not today, Satan, but next week works.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

“Comparison is the thief of joy!” Well, not if you’re better than everyone else.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Teens are like, “My homework isn’t done, but check out this presentation I made on why I need Instagram.”

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Quality women really do attract everyone. A bright light always attracts all types of bugs.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

An internship is only unpaid if you don’t steal enough.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Hate when anxiety gives me stomach problems. Like, baby, you are supposed to be a mental disorder, please stay in your line.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m not even doomscrolling anymore; I’m just regular scrolling, and everything’s doomed.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Accidentally made eye contact with the sweets at the grocery store and now have to declare bankruptcy.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Tornados are just a bunch of ghosts fighting over a cow.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

My favorite part about going camping is the part where I stay at home, and I don’t go camping.

Spotted on WeChat:

Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad.”

Spotted on Reddit:

Just a friendly reminder folks. Don’t forget to set back your rooster this weekend.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’m not fragile like a flower. I’m fragile like a bomb.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If you find me offensive, then I suggest you quit finding me.

Making waves on Facebook:

My four moods: I’m too old for doing that. I’m too tired for doing that. I’m too sober for doing that. I don’t have time for doing that.

Seen just now on Discord:

I installed a bike rack on my car so my neighbors think I do something else besides drink.

Shared recently on Discord:

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Fun fact: If Celine Dion sang only the vowels in her name, it would be the lyrics to Old McDonalds Farm.

Going viral on Facebook:

This summer went by so fast, I didn’t even get a chance to lose any weight.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Some say the world will end in fire. Others say in ice. Coming up next, our expert panel breaks down the arguments for each side…

Not to brag, but I finished an entire book in one sitting. I’m going to need some new crayons.

Donnie Darko was also ahead of its time because the guy’s haunted by a giant Labubu.

Can’t wait to get past this phase of my life. I need to see what all of this was for.

Please stop adding touchscreens to cars. Most of these idiots can barely drive as it is.

Someone told me I wasn’t thinking clearly, as if that’s even an option.

The only way to forget the mistakes you made in the past is to make even bigger and graver mistakes in the present.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Some say the world will end in fire. Others say in ice. Coming up next, our expert panel breaks down the arguments for each side…

Keep the laugh going 😂

Not to brag, but I finished an entire book in one sitting. I’m going to need some new crayons.

Donnie Darko was also ahead of its time because the guy’s haunted by a giant Labubu.

Can’t wait to get past this phase of my life. I need to see what all of this was for.

Please stop adding touchscreens to cars. Most of these idiots can barely drive as it is.

Someone told me I wasn’t thinking clearly, as if that’s even an option.

The only way to forget the mistakes you made in the past is to make even bigger and graver mistakes in the present.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨