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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • The rainforest cafe won’t be authentic enough for me if they don’t bulldoze 40% of the restaurant while I’m there.
  • “Excuse me, are you gonna finish those fries?” Me, interrupting a couple fighting.
  • I just come here for the free life advice and inspirational quotes from people who’s lives are complete train wrecks.
  • Babysitting a pair of twin babies right now and feeding them saying “here comes the airplane”. I don’t know, just feels weird.
  • When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.
  • I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.