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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

You can’t have a bad day at work if you don’t go.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

New cinephile technique “method watching” — when you watch a movie and then act and talk like the main character for 2 months.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

One minute you’re young and fun, the next you’re excited about a new vacuum cleaner.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Why do boys never buy the Pro Max iPhones? I swear it’s only girls with big phones.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Offering people sitting on the bus my standing room. Like it’s better.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Overthinkaholic!

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

There are a few certainties in this life: death, taxes and when a Canadian tells you it’s cold out, it’s cold out.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

My New Years resolutions are to do some things, and stop doing some other things.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

I still get so surprised every time someone I find attractive finds me attractive. Like, are you sure?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Car insurance should give you back money at the end of the year for having no accidents.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,793

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

Every time I have to repeat myself, a new curse word gets added into the sentence.

Breaking via Slack:

Putting my Christmas tree up today. Big day for my cats.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.

Making waves on TikTok:

My personal brand is being the guest at a wedding who can’t dance but puts in a noticeable effort.

Trending via Facebook:

Why are fish the only thing you can monger? Let me monger some other stuff.

Breaking via X:

Your 20s are for lusting after furniture you can’t afford actually.

Seen just now on Facebook:

A two-step guide to warning someone not to hit their head: 1. Wait until they’ve hit their head. 2. Say “Ooh, mind your head!”

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

The sweet potato is the kindest vegetable.

Going viral on TikTok:

Today I was in a taxi, and the taxi driver said, “I love my job. I am my own boss, nobody tells me what to do!” Then I said, “Turn left.”

Trending via Instagram:

Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.

Some say the world will end in fire. Others say in ice. Coming up next, our expert panel breaks down the arguments for each side…

2 months ago

Download image ↓

…

Commentary:
"Breaking news: Team Fire argues global warming. Team Ice counters with ice cream shortage fears. Tune in for the meltdown! 🔥🍦😂"

apocalyptic, argument, arguments, breaks, comedy, coming, debate, end, end of world, expert, expert panel, fire, humor, ice, next, others, panel, satire, say, side, world

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a neurosurgeon in the middle of brain surgery.

0

2 months ago

anyone, brain, brain surgery, ChatGPT, else, humor, irony, medical, middle, neurosurgeon, stress, surgery, technology
Brains are awesome. I wish I had one.

0

2 months ago

awesome, brain, brains, humor, i, intelligence, sarcasm, self-deprecation, wish, wit
Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

0

2 months ago

bridges, burn, hope, humor, keep, metaphor, night, revenge, sarcasm, warm, warmth
If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

0

2 months ago

adventure, factory, fast, food, ID, imagination, marinara, river, spaghetti, tube, Wonka
Just did a seductive hair flip and an onion ring flew out.

0

2 months ago

clumsy, date, flip, food, food mishap, funny moment, hair, hair flip, humor, just, mishap, moment, onion, onion ring, playful, ring, situation, unexpected, unexpected situation
When I try to figure out rows vs. columns, I just row away in my boat of confusion!

0

2 months ago

analogy, away, boat, columns, confusion, data, figure, humor, i, joke, just, math, row, rowing, rows, try, vs

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Discord this month:

I have many talents, all equally un-monetizable.

87 shares on Twitch this month:

I bought a 12 year old whiskey. His parents are furious.

14 shares on WeChat this month:

Pretending to be a well-adjusted, functioning adult is so exhausting.

42 shares on WhatsApp this month:

IKEA products should be cheaper, I’m doing all the work here. It’s like ordering takeout food and still having to cook it when it arrives.

72 shares on YouTube this month:

If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

12 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m awake and working. Please respect my privacy during these trying and emotional times.

45 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When people give me directions and they’re like “you can’t miss it,” I’m like, “Oh, you do not know what I’m capable of.”

42 shares on Instagram this month:

People really be like, “I would never do that to you,” and then do it with a remix.

67 shares on Facebook this month:

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

62 shares on Telegram this month:

ADHD is: being pretty good at basically anything you want to be, and absolutely terrible at anything you need to do to live.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Hopefully it won’t be as bad as it already is.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Not to brag, but I ate all of my bananas before they turned brown. Don’t be jealous.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

I don’t understand people who say “I don’t know how to thank you.” Like they never heard of money.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

I think it’s extremely important, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Frankly, I have too many situations and not enough monitors.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

The only team building exercise we had when I started working was called “Happy Hour.”

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

I was living in the moment until I was evicted.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Not to brag, but I finished an entire book in one sitting. I’m going to need some new crayons.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

You should always wash your sheets once a week in case they are really ghosts and need a shower.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Why is everyone against sugar? Who stood beside you when things went wrong and you were sad? It wasn’t lettuce, for sure.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Jesus, I need money to organize your birthday.

Breaking via Threads:

Bored as hell. Anyone want to emotionally manipulate each other?

Going viral on Threads:

Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I’m done with work.

Shared recently on X:

The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’m not lazy, I’m an inactivist.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

My motivation and me: It’s complicated.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Nothing has improved the quality of my life more than living beyond my means.

Trending via TikTok:

Sometimes I’ll pause a YouTube video to scroll on reels. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to be loved genuinely.

Spotted on Instagram:

I want a man who doesn’t annoy me while I’m constantly getting on his nerves. It can’t be that difficult.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Some say the world will end in fire. Others say in ice. Coming up next, our expert panel breaks down the arguments for each side…

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a neurosurgeon in the middle of brain surgery.

Brains are awesome. I wish I had one.

Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

Just did a seductive hair flip and an onion ring flew out.

When I try to figure out rows vs. columns, I just row away in my boat of confusion!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨