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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Every morning when that damn alarm clock goes off, I just feel it so much: A million-dollar inheritance suits me much better than an office job.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Why do men have birthdays? It’s not like they’re growing up.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I want the dreams to chase me for once.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Valentine’s Day is a stupid and made up holiday unless someone wants to give me a present in which case I really believe in celebrating it.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Stupidity begins where irony is no longer understood.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Being in love will have you put your pride aside and go to places you never thought you would, like New Jersey.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

If snails are so slow, why don’t we ever see them coming? It’s just BAM, there’s a snail.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

If it’s one thing we’ve learned hiking, it’s the early bird that gets the face full of spiderwebs.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Work beers should be a daily thing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,480

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

I know life can be tough, but you still gotta wear deodorant.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

Going viral on YouTube:

Being gracefully unhinged is the only way to get through the everyday bullshit.

Just landed via X:

Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

Shared recently on Slack:

I won’t be accepting any parcels for the neighbors in December this year. Last year it was all junk.

Making waves on Messenger:

People acting all happy and energized first thing in the morning. Chill out! You aren’t a Teletubby.

Just landed via Instagram:

I already want to come home from work tomorrow.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

Going viral on Facebook:

Interpretive dance is the best way to answer stupid questions.

Making waves on Messenger:

Being an adult is spending every day looking at a pill bottle, wondering, “Did I take this already?”

Sometimes, I feel like I need love, but the moment I finish eating, I realize I was just hungry.

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Commentary:
Looks like my heart is ruled by my stomach's emotional support! 🍕❤️😆

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m begging for a day to be added in between Saturday and Sunday.

83 shares on Telegram this month:

I hurt my bottom after shaking it at the office party. It was a twerk-place injury.

35 shares on Snapchat this month:

Just blocked someone for correcting my spelling and it feelded great.

53 shares on WeChat this month:

An article of clothing left on the floor long enough becomes clean again because the germs eventually get bored and leave.

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I always say “it’s so expensive” and then buy it nonetheless.

21 shares on Instagram this month:

Cheesecake dislikers are attention seekers.

81 shares on Slack this month:

The most refreshing way to fight your personal demons is to make demonade.

46 shares on Telegram this month:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at intimacy.

34 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m super lazy today. It’s like normal lazy but I’m wearing a cape.

28 shares on Pinterest this month:

I will never understand people’s fascination with their ancestry, isn’t knowing your current family bad enough.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do coffee beans smell so good, and coffee breath is like bleh?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Super excited about a brand new week of self-sabotage.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I could never be in the mafia, those guys stay up way to late.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people believe the appendix is a vestigial organ, that its use has long since passed. I think it’s primordial. Its use has yet to come.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

You know you’re the father of teen boys when a shoe print on the ceiling no longer fazes you.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I wonder if the plot ever gets tired of being twisted.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My body is like my phone battery. Usually drained by 4pm.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

There are two types of people in politics. Avoid them.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I can melt an ice cube just by staring at it. It takes a while, but I can do it.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m looking for insults so intelligent you don’t realize you’ve been roasted until three thoughts later.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,740

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

I’m always best at the things I shouldn’t do.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Cheers erupt as woman cuts into perfectly ripe avocado.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

When your kids embarrass you in public, the only way out is to turn away in disgust and mutter loudly, “Who raised you?”

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Some people you look at or hear talking and think to yourself, the wheel may be turning, but the hamster is dead.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Unfortunately, I don’t think before I speak, so l am just a shocked as you are.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Is losing your mind a hobby?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I’m poor, I can’t afford to pay attention.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

My mental health is as reliable as a flashlight in a horror film.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Relationships are only serious when photos are posted by a man.

Just landed via Threads:

I am the human version of tangled headphones.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I’m proud of myself because, despite having so many expenses, I still manage to add more.

Going viral on Telegram:

Betrayal only comes from someone we’re close to. Just like herpes.

Shared recently on X:

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

Just shared via WeChat:

Not to brag, but I’ve done nothing for several hours.

Just shared via Slack:

You didn’t get fired, your job “fumbled you”.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Thinking of starting a club for people who don’t like to leave their house. There are no meetings.

Shared recently on TikTok:

They should invent a food that sounds good for dinner tonight.

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