Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Shoutout to Netflix for being the only one that checks in on me every few hours. “Are you still watching?” Yeah, babe, thank you for asking.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

I got bills. They’re multiplying.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

If you ever see me out in public, just know I don’t want to be there.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Nothing ruins your weekend faster than remembering Monday is lurking in the shadows.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

FOMO is a summer thing. Winter is all about FOGO (fear of going out).

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be just water.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Thank you, moon, for staying awake so late.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

They should make statues of regular people, like you’re walking through the park and there’s a statue of your friend Jeff.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

I’ll let you guys know if the psych ward has wifi.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,597

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

The lion does not concern himself with the few small drops of pee that got on his boxers at the urinal even after he did a few shakes to be sure.

Going viral on Twitch:

The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing.

Going viral on Messenger:

Don’t break someone’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206 of them.

Spotted on Messenger:

What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Do people who spend a fortune on outdoor heating know they can just go inside?

Spotted on TikTok:

Perhaps the most universal American experience is your mom being like, “Wasn’t he such a good dentist? He’s in prison now.”

Spreading quickly via X:

“This is a great weekend to clean out the garage,” according to my wife and other people who won’t be cleaning the garage.

Live now on Twitch:

I hate that I’m so indecisive. Actually, I don’t know if hate is the right word.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

My body is in shock this morning from having to wake up early and wear hard pants.

Just landed via YouTube:

No thanks, I’m already in a committed relationship with reading.

Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.

4 weeks ago

Witty quote about wishing men spoke to women like they do to their dogs, humorous and playful.

Download image ↓

…

Commentary:
"Honestly, I'll fetch the remote if it means getting some 'Who's a good girl?' vibes. 🐶😂💕"

awkward, communication, dating, dialogue, dog, humor, i, just, man, me, pet, relationships, same, sometimes, talk, voice, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Imagine hating me and i’m just over here doing a much better job at hating myself than any of y’all could do.

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“I’m basically the human version of finding $20 in old jeans.”

74 shares on Messenger this month:

Professor, set the time machine for right now. I’m trying to be more present.

69 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Unlike men, women would immediately admit their mistakes if they had any.

36 shares on Slack this month:

Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’

59 shares on Messenger this month:

Remember, when a package says “sharing size”, that’s just a guideline. They have no enforcement mechanism.

38 shares on Twitch this month:

My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

85 shares on Discord this month:

The only thing I miss from my past is that flat stomach I had.

99 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Oh, you like NYC? Name every rat.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Do cats have a sense of causation between grooming themselves and coughing up hairballs, or do they think it’s just an annoying separate thing which just happens to them sometimes?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

I tiptoe near my medicine cabinet because I don’t want to wake my sleeping pills.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Bugs Bunny was my introduction to opera. Can’t say I’ve kept up with it much since.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

I’m at the age where any time my mom asks if I remember so-and-so from high school, the news is never good.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Seems like it would be really tough being a girl named Molly at a rave.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you that you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Just saw onto the sidelines, they literally have enough footballs for all the players, they’re making them fight over that one for no reason.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

As someone who lives on earth, rising sea levels are alarming. But as someone who has always wanted to be a mermaid, I’m intrigued.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Getting old is not fun. Sometimes I have to check my texts and photos when someone asks me what I did yesterday.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

If you’re thinking what I’m thinking, you need professional help.

Broadcasted on Slack:

The best weight you’ll ever lose is the weight of other people’s opinions.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Hey, we’re calling off the search party. We found a different guy out there we like more.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

My red flag is that I don’t make playlists on Spotify. I just add every song I’ve ever liked to the ‘Liked Songs’ playlist and shuffle that, like an iPod.

Breaking via TikTok:

Someone yelled “hey, retard!” and I looked back.

Spotted on Reddit:

I’m still annoyed that you can catch Covid more than once. I can’t explain why, but it feels kind of rude.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Being a woman is wild. I just cried, cleaned the house, had a snack, had a bath, and now I’m fine.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

“You look tired.” Yes, bro, I stayed up all night obsessing over things I have no control over.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

These quiet electric cars are really annoying. I have to stop scrolling and look up while walking outside now.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Me rereading his texts after we’ve already said goodnight just so I can giggle and blush all over again.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.

The feminine urge to act clueless while knowing everything.

They all cheat, lie and manipulate. Just pick the pretty one.

The most romantic minds of our time are being subjected to situationships.

Weekends are getting shorter and shorter. You blink and it’s already Sunday 5pm.

The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

Text her when the moon looks pretty.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.

Keep the laugh going 😂

The feminine urge to act clueless while knowing everything.

They all cheat, lie and manipulate. Just pick the pretty one.

The most romantic minds of our time are being subjected to situationships.

Weekends are getting shorter and shorter. You blink and it’s already Sunday 5pm.

The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

Text her when the moon looks pretty.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨