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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

You look like you suck at Mario Kart.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Twitter will always be your best app if you’re single, funny, or just depressed.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

We all have that person who insists on using a blanket on the couch, no matter the weather.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Maybe you should embark on a strange journey.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

“There are lots of benefits to working here. We have fun social events and activities after work!” And what are the benefits?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

The worst part about being an adult is that no matter how sad you get, the show must go on.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier man.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

It’s so hot the chipmunks are using my bird bath as a hot tub and requesting mimosas and the brunch menu.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,399

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WeChat:

The feminine urge to be the most feared witch in the village.

Spotted on Discord:

My doubters will become my grouters when I remodel the bathroom of success.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The only thing that could heal me is a memory loss.

Trending via WeChat:

I wanted to wear some hot lingerie, but didn’t have any, so I put on this red dental floss.

Breaking via Reddit:

If David Bowie taught us anything, it’s that being a little weird is better than being forgettable.

Spotted on Reddit:

A house doesn’t have to be haunted to scare me, I’ve seen the listing prices.

Trending via Pinterest:

Name something cuter than a baby in a bucket hat on the beach.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

“But it’s summer,” is going to be my excuse for everything from now until the end of September.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I don’t have a nervous system, I am a nervous system.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Those who run away from me are afraid that they might confess their love to me.

Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.

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Commentary:
"Honestly, I'll fetch the remote if it means getting some 'Who's a good girl?' vibes. 🐶😂💕"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Slack this month:

I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

24 shares on Instagram this month:

Bird flu? Yeah, they’re known to do that.

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’ve been blocked by better.

21 shares on Snapchat this month:

So cool that avocados come with those little wooden balls inside, I think I have collected the whole set.

17 shares on Facebook this month:

Wearing white pants today, so it’s really just a matter of time before I spill something on myself.

55 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m tired and drank a lot of coffee, so now I’m tired but faster.

73 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m gonna get my vasectomy done at Home Depot like a real man.

25 shares on Discord this month:

I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.

59 shares on Threads this month:

When buying presents I like to think, what would Jesus have got you? So yeah, enjoy your fish sandwich.

18 shares on Snapchat this month:

They say the best things take time. That’s why I’m always late.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you ever want sleep but sleep doesn’t want you?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

God: “I’m all-knowing but I’d rather be all-forgetting.”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a good listener. If you’re interesting.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The great thing about having a mouse in your house is that I’m sure it’s just the one mouse, probably.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I love my bed so much, what a place.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I swear the air gets heavier around 6 p.m. on Sundays. You can feel the Microsoft Teams energy approaching.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

“Huh” is 94% of my vocabulary.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Kind of rude you didn’t wake me up before you went went.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Delete a letter of his name from your contacts every time he makes you upset. When his name’s gone, he’s gone. Hangman that boy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,692

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Time is precious, waste it wisely.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Aliens will always remain unidentified because they’re embarrassed to be associated with us humans.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Forget tequila, I’m at the age where you can wake up with a hangover from Netflix.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Don’t be ashamed to fart while you urinate, cause there is no rain without thunder.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

My body is like an elastic band – no matter how I stretch it, it goes back to the nap position.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

This chapter of my life is called ‘at least the rent is paid’

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

I’m already excited about who I’m going to think sucks first today.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

I got all my marriage skills from watching Al Bundy.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

The best way to reach me is with intelligence and humor.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

No better feeling than getting home and realizing you forgot the one thing you went out for.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.

Going viral on Telegram:

Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I just wish I had the confidence of my husband who thinks everything only takes 5 minutes.

Making waves on Pinterest:

“Bye, have a great day, I’ll see you after school”, I tell the orange in my kid’s lunch.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

Trending via Discord:

I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

Making waves on TikTok:

After hearing that I have too many books and too many bookshelves, I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to.

Spotted on Threads:

The only team building exercise we had when I started working was called “Happy Hour.”

Trending via YouTube:

This could have been an email. Me, while attending a wedding ceremony.

Making waves on Instagram:

I’m slowly becoming an adult. Please make it stop.

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