Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when you pick the right partner.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Mail is crazy because it’s like 99 pieces of straight up garbage and 1 that if you don’t reply to you’re going to jail.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

My child had pancakes and syrup for breakfast so I guess I’ll be sticking to my furniture for the next week.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

I love being a pretty woman because it widens the threshold for cringe-worthy things I can say.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Sorry I left you on read, I didn’t mean to open it just yet.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Instead of meeting any new people, I would much rather un-meet the ones I already know.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

The most avoided species of shark is the Loan.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Being in your 20s is crazy because, why did you stay with someone you were that incompatible with for that long?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

I think you’re like the cat’s meow, annoying yet sweet.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,600

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

You’re telling me this moron’s on oxy.

Freshly posted on X:

There is absolutely no excuse for laziness. But if you find one, let me know.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I did 30 minutes of chores, time for a 7-hour break.

Just landed via X:

Look, the problem with The Life of a Showgirl is that, for maybe the first time in her music career, Taylor Swift has nothing to say.

Just landed via Discord:

I should get paid a lot more for being the boss of me.

Making waves on WeChat:

Whoever named the meatball absolutely nailed it.

Just landed via Discord:

Seven wives and no alcohol? No thanks, Mormons.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Nobody is more cold-blooded than a toddler, just saying what they see and feel.

Live now on Slack:

Sometimes I can’t believe people have had the honor of experiencing my love and chose to hurt me instead.

Making waves on Messenger:

Sorry for not keeping in touch. I literally have nothing to say.

Sorry, I ghosted you. I just felt like you were gonna ghost me, so I did it first.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Preemptive ghosting: the spooky art of vanishing before becoming the vanishee! 👻🙈

apology, communication, ghost, ghosted, ghosting, humor, i, interaction, just, me, relationship, social, social interaction, sorry

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m at the age when riding around town, I say, “When did they build that?”

0

5 months ago

age, around, build, i, memory, riding, say, surprise, town
Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

0

2 months ago

diamond, humor, idea, love, relationship, romantic, setting
Tomorrow isn’t promised, so make sure you tell bad people they’re bad.

0

2 months ago

advice, bad, bad people, honesty, humor, people, promise, sure, tell, tomorrow
When I’m done eating… I have to show my hands to my cat, like I’m a blackjack dealer.

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2 months ago

activity, animal, cat, dealer, done, eating, gesture, hands, humor, i, playful, quirky, show
Grammar is important. It’s the difference between feeling your nuts and feeling you’re nuts.

0

2 months ago

difference, feeling, grammar, humor, important, language, nuts, punctuation, wordplay
I’m doing a terrific job of not getting anything done today.

0

2 months ago

anything, doing, done, getting, humor, job, laziness, motivation, procrastination, productivity, today, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you start liking someone, just block them. Follow me for more relationship advice.

11 shares on X this month:

“Tom Cruise does his own stunts!” Okay cool, but so do I.

53 shares on Messenger this month:

That awkward moment when you spend an hour online picking out a gift for your friend’s son’s birthday and Amazon tells you it’s been a year since you bought this item.

14 shares on WeChat this month:

Some should judge a little less and look at their lives a little more.

32 shares on Facebook this month:

I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.

76 shares on LinkedIn this month:

How old were you when you found out people in porn aren’t actually in love?

77 shares on Messenger this month:

I am cutting contact with my 3-year-old narcissist nephew.

63 shares on Snapchat this month:

They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

91 shares on Telegram this month:

Cleaned the bathroom window. Wasn’t frosted glass at all.

23 shares on Snapchat this month:

If I’m ever in a coma, please pluck my chin hairs.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Grateful to be living in the “Tetris when it’s going too fast and blocks are helplessly piling up” era of human history.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

I don’t wanna be dramatic but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

The fact that I have a lot of wine in the house proves that I don’t drink much. Otherwise the wine would be gone.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

I think when girls start liking pink again, it means they’re healing.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

The toddler refers to every baby as Baby [Name], like Baby is their formal title.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Explain it to me like I’m 5 drinks in.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Well, it took several decades, but I might have finally run out of things to say.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

What are some good jobs for someone with no passions, interests, motivation, social skills, or strengths?

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I bought a robot vacuum today. Named it “Dustbin Bieber”.

Trending via YouTube:

What part of “hiii” do you not get? I’m in love with you.

Seen just now on Threads:

Never underestimate my ability to effortlessly make something more difficult than it needs to be.

Breaking via YouTube:

Anybody else not stopped farting this evening? Asking for a friend.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If you have gray in your beard, you can hit it.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

My favorite part about going camping is the part where I stay at home, and I don’t go camping.

Making waves on Discord:

Anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “yeah, but not to you”.

Making waves on Instagram:

4 out 3 people struggle with math.

Seen just now on Discord:

You can add tears while cooking if you don’t have salt.

Trending via Snapchat:

Not now, I’m befriending a crow and teaching it how to deliver handwritten love notes.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sorry, I ghosted you. I just felt like you were gonna ghost me, so I did it first.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m at the age when riding around town, I say, “When did they build that?”

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so make sure you tell bad people they’re bad.

When I’m done eating… I have to show my hands to my cat, like I’m a blackjack dealer.

Grammar is important. It’s the difference between feeling your nuts and feeling you’re nuts.

I’m doing a terrific job of not getting anything done today.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨